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Dogs in stores everywhere around here and almost none wearing the Service Animal vests, usually those small 'nip your ankles' types or pit bulls.
Now I must say I do truly love dogs but these little critters and all pits make me nervous so I usually, quite loudly, say something like 'oh that one, bet I could drop kick him all the way over to the cereal isle' or 'hardly need to even stomp hard to flatten that one' or some other horrendous suggestion.
Works every time, the pet parent scoops up the critter or tightens the leash and I have no fear of being bitten, tho one day I may get bopped in the nose for saying such ghastly things!
OK, dogs in stores apparently is becoming the norm.
Problem is my daughter is deathly afraid of dogs. It's annoying to us as parents as we have to pick her up if there is a dog within 100', but now that she is getting bigger and soon will enter public school, it will become a problem if she doesn't outgrow this issue.
I've had two social issues that have been a little hard to handle "correctly".
Instance #1: On hiking trail, stopped at a hiker's break area with picnic tables. Daughter is sitting on top of picnic tables. Another hiker with dogs off leash approaches, and dogs get excited to see daughter and scamper up on top of picnic table. Daughter freaks out as she doesn't want dogs running toward her.
Instance #2: In store today. Dog enters store. Daughter gets nervous. Dog starts to bark at daughter.
How would you handle either of those two situations? Especially the dogs in stores situation.
She sounds little, as you said you have to pick her up if she's near a dog, and will be starting school soon. Is there a reason she is so afraid? Was she ever attacked by a dog? Did she have a bad or scary experience with one? Is she just not used to being around them?
Introduce her to dogs. Maybe start with little dogs, friendly ones, if you know anyone who has a sweet little dog. I have the sweetest, most gentle Cavalier King Charles Spaniel. She would never hurt a soul, truly. Never has, never will. She would lick you to death, though. So I would recommend introducing her to a small dog like that. More her size, one she could hold and put on her lap (one that doesn't mind being manhandled). Big dogs are very intimidating - even for adults sometimes. If she can see that not all dogs are big and "scary," and some are cute, little and fluffy, maybe it will help.
If you can't figure it out on your own, I would get her help for it. She may never truly be "over it" (I only say this because I don't know the circumstances behind why she is so afraid of them), but she can manage the fear with help. She can't expect everyone around her to keep their dogs at a distance in public parks or stores (if dogs are allowed or if they're service dogs), so the issue does need to be resolved, and it's good that you recognize that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by veuvegirl
My son had the same fear when he was younger. If ever we had a situation I would sternly say to the owner "my son is deathly afraid of dogs, please leash your dog". I always got the remark the dog was friendly. I let them know it didn't matter, but honestly no one cared.
So you would ask people to leash their dogs in a park because your son was afraid of them? And you would say so "sternly," to boot - sternly order a complete stranger to leash their dog? No one's telling me to leash my dog (save for a cop or something by actual lawful order). How about take your kid away from the dog? If necessary, leave the park all together. It's a public park, as long as the rules don't forbid dogs from being off the leash, you have no right to ask someone to leash their dog because your son is afraid of dogs. Just my opinion at least. Sounds like the classic parent entitlement attitude - MY kid this, MY kid that.
Depending on the circumstances and layout/size of the park, I would at least try to stay away from you and your kid if I were in that situation, but I would probably not leash my dog simply because some stranger asked me to. No wonder no one cared when you said it didn't matter how friendly their dogs were.
Keep in mind I have a 14 pound little dog and it's hard for her to go attack anyone. The most she will do is run up to you, jump on your legs, and lick you. But don't picture an 80 pound beast running full speed at you from 100 yards away and knocking you over. That's not how it is with mine. I do admit those can be scary. Many of my family members have labs, for example, and young labs are very excitable.
As per parks - make sure you know the leash laws and only visit parks where dogs must be on leash at all times. If you are already doing that, you will still find people with off leash dogs but at least the law is on your side and you can remind them of that.
"Excuse me, could you leash your dogs? My daughter is deathly afraid of dogs"
"No, why should I leash my dogs? If your daughter is afraid you shouldn't visit places where dog owners frequent"
"Well, I chose this place because of their strict leash laws. You are currently breaking the law, I am not. We can find a police officer or park ranger to help us resolve this situation"
".... [ grumbles and says something nasty but leashes his dogs because he knows you are right"
-- you know you can say it nicer than that.
As per stores, it's really up to the store owner and their policy. If they allow dogs, and the dogs are on leash, then I am sorry but your daughter's fear is a problem for you to resolve either by not visiting the store or talking to the store manager but you'd be out of line asking the dog owner to leave if the store owner allows leashed pets.
Good luck! It's always tough sharing common areas with other people.
Also, fear is not rational. I.e. the little girl doesn't care or know to care that your dog is friendly or that he's only 15 lbs. It is not something she can reason and definitely not at her age (still small enough to be picked up).
I do sympathize with the OP but management will be key - ask store owners about their dog policy and find out the park's leash laws. You will still run into people who blatantly break the laws but at least the law is on your side.
From my perspective: I own two German Shepherds and have no kids, but I would never allow my dogs to put you and your child at a discomfort - if you are polite of course
So you would ask people to leash their dogs in a park because your son was afraid of them? And you would say so "sternly," to boot - sternly order a complete stranger to leash their dog? No one's telling me to leash my dog you have no right to ask someone to leash their dog because your son is afraid of dogs. Just my opinion at least.
Depending on the circumstances and layout/size of the park, I would at least try to stay away from you and your kid if I were in that situation, but I would probably not leash my dog simply because some stranger asked me to. ...
Keep in mind I have a 14 pound little dog and it's hard for her to go attack anyone. The most she will do is run up to you, jump on your legs, and lick you.....
Sadly, your attitude towards your own little dog might get it killed or seriously injured. I have a service dog that will not permit your sweet little angel to come charging at me. I am constantly telling others, even with leashed dogs, to keep their dog in their own space and to not invade mine - or my dog's. For some reason, people walking through PetSmart seem to believe their little dog has a right to run unchecked to the end of its 40' leash and jump on me. I warn them once and my dog will warn them a second time. She is loving and gentle ... and protective. My sweet little mountain cur (Mountain Cur Dog Breed Information and Pictures) is also capable of taking down a wild boar, so your little 14# dog that you allow to jump and lick others is just a nice snack to mine.
You accuse people of having a "MY kid" attitude, yet because your dog is small, you think you are exempt from common courtesy such as keeping your little precious under your control to prevent it from running off and jumping on someone. It isn't always whether your dog will harm someone else, it just might be your own dog's safety that is an issue.
To the OP: one thing to make your child more comfortable around dogs is to let her think she has control over the situation. I had a Doberman who loved people and especially kids (try explaining that one to people who have a fear of Dobermans!). At any rate, my dog was obedience trained and always on leash, and I never forced him (or in his case, allowed him to meet) anyone who was deathly afraid of him. However, there were children who were very hesitant to pet a large dog who, in most cases, was taller than they were when he was just sitting down. So we did the following: with my dog on leash, we would walk as close as was comfortable for the child and the child was told to tell my dog to sit. The child would say 'sit' and my dog would sit. The child would then be told to tell the dog to 'shake'. Then to lie down. And finally to 'not bite (or 'no jump' or just 'lie still').
Then I would tell the child that he could pet the dog. Naturally, after years of working with my Dobe, I could just gently pull his collar or give him a hand signal to make him follow the commands. But once the child had seen he had some control over the situation, he usually didn't hesitate to come right up and pet my dog.
This is just something to get a child over his fear of dogs, however. You must also firmly explain to your child that he must NEVER approach a strange dog and attempt to pet it without an adult being present or unless the owner says you can.
Your daughter doesn't have to like dogs, but she can get over her fear of them. If possible, try to find an obedience training class for dogs and go down there by yourself a couple times. Talk to the trainers and see if they have any suggestions or would be able to work with your daughter for a minute or two after a class. Do avoid the beginning dog training classes, though. The owners there are like new mothers, they have a lot to learn before they will have control of their dogs.
This might work and it might not. But it's worth a shot. Also, if you do decide to get a dog, get a small to medium sized one your child can handle and perhaps she herself would like to take it to obedience classes. I've taught children as young as 6 years how to teach their dogs to heel and sit. Children tend to be natural trainers and take a lot of pride in training their dogs.
Sadly, your attitude towards your own little dog might get it killed or seriously injured. I have a service dog that will not permit your sweet little angel to come charging at me. I am constantly telling others, even with leashed dogs, to keep their dog in their own space and to not invade mine - or my dog's. For some reason, people walking through PetSmart seem to believe their little dog has a right to run unchecked to the end of its 40' leash and jump on me. I warn them once and my dog will warn them a second time. She is loving and gentle ... and protective. My sweet little mountain cur (Mountain Cur Dog Breed Information and Pictures) is also capable of taking down a wild boar, so your little 14# dog that you allow to jump and lick others is just a nice snack to mine.
You accuse people of having a "MY kid" attitude, yet because your dog is small, you think you are exempt from common courtesy such as keeping your little precious under your control to prevent it from running off and jumping on someone. It isn't always whether your dog will harm someone else, it just might be your own dog's safety that is an issue.
Don't misunderstand, it was a hypothetical in response to the poster I quoted. My dog is rarely off her leash. I hate when she's off her leash. It makes me very nervous for many reasons. She has been attacked by other dogs 3 times while SHE was leashed, and the other dogs' owners let them come close to her and they wound up really hurting her. She straight up was attacked by a neighbor's dog once when they were both leashed. It bit her neck, little s*it.
I am very protective of my dog, from both other dogs and people. Little kids like to come up to her when I'm walking her because she's so little and they often get rather rough with her. She has yelped before from the way they try to grab her and pick her up. I don't let her jump on anyone when out in public when she's leashed. I just said that if she were to be unleashed somewhere, she would not be capable of hurting most people. My "sweet little angel" doesn't go charging at ANYONE. She doesn't get the opportunity to.
I just didn't like that poster's attitude - to "sternly" tell a dog owner to leash his or her dog because her son is "deathly afraid" - give me a break. Unless it's a law for dogs to be leashed in that location, I don't see why anyone should he obliged to do so just because some kid is afraid. How about remove your kid from the situation then? I don't like the attitude.
Lovely this thought process of dog owners is ridiculous.
Not really.
People need to train their kids (as I have with mine) that you don't approach strange dogs and you certainly don't do anything to cause them pain or discomfort.
My kids know not to approach even their own dogs while they're eating or have a bone.
To me there are more pros to not having dogs in stores than cons. To be safe and considerate to all involved, why can't people just leave the fur kids out of the stores, unless they are a working dog.
Sorry, Jerseygirl, I took it that you let your dog run off leash simply because she is little. That's a very common attitude and one that causes me angst as I need to have my dog with me (or my husband) and she is, rightly, protective of me as I have balance issues to go along with my hearing loss. She'd rather brace for me than have to help me up off the floor while dancing around a small animal.
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So I would recommend introducing her to a small dog like that. More her size, one she could hold and put on her lap (one that doesn't mind being manhandled). Big dogs are very intimidating - even for adults sometimes. If she can see that not all dogs are big and "scary," and some are cute, little and fluffy, maybe it will help. 
No one's telling me to leash my dog (save for a cop or something by actual lawful order). How about take your kid away from the dog? If necessary, leave the park all together. It's a public park, as long as the rules don't forbid dogs from being off the leash, you have no right to ask someone to leash their dog because your son is afraid of dogs. Just my opinion at least. Sounds like the classic parent entitlement attitude - MY kid this, MY kid that. 
this thought process of dog owners is ridiculous.