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Sorry, Jerseygirl, I took it that you let your dog run off leash simply because she is little. That's a very common attitude and one that causes me angst as I need to have my dog with me (or my husband) and she is, rightly, protective of me as I have balance issues to go along with my hearing loss. She'd rather brace for me than have to help me up off the floor while dancing around a small animal.
No it's okay! If anything I'm more reluctant because she's little. :/
To me there are more pros to not having dogs in stores than cons. To be safe and considerate to all involved, why can't people just leave the fur kids out of the stores, unless they are a working dog.
Seems like common sense to me.
It is. The problem is, many of them do think their dogs are in fact "fur kids." They're not. They're ANIMALS. Where I come from, humans are way more important than animals. Period. It's a human's world, dogs only live in it. They need to learn how to assimilate to US, not the other way around.
If you look at my post again, I never said that it was at a park, it was on a hiking trail. The dog wasn't on-leash, the dog was off-leash. And my daughter was ontop of a picnic table, and the dog ran up to the top of the picnic table, too. The owner had no control over the dog.
If it's a hiking trail, I have a simple solution to that. When hiking, I carry a hiking stick made from a redwood sapling. It's a little under 6 feet long, about 2 1/2 inches in diameter at the top, and 1 1/2 inches at the bottom end, and is quite stout. If I'm out hiking and an unleashed dog runs up to me, I'll poke it firmly in the chest and drive it away. If it shows signs of aggression, I will (and have) hit it across the face. The owners of these dogs don't seem to like that very much, but that's not my problem and I could not care less.
I agree with much of this post. However, to desensitize her fear I suggest you just get one picture book about dogs like "Lady and the Tramp." After a few weeks of reading the book some nights with her bedtime story, get the video. Then, at some point buy her a stuffed animal that is either Lady or Tramp (ebay, Disney store). Then over time possibly take her to the dog park (carry her)-- small dog side just for 5 minutes inside and out again. Next move on to another book that features a dog... There are so many choices. I really don't suggest getting a dog or forcing her to interact with a dog. Simply observing is fine. You might even consider at Christmas time buying dog food or a pet bed and taking it to an animal shelter and donating it. Just to make dogs a positive part of one's life.
I think a fear of dogs can impede her life very dramatically if she doesn't overcome it. However, there is no reason to force dogs on her or change your family's lifestyle. And also no reason to allow dog owners to disrespect her space. Teaching her to require others to respect her personal space is a great way to model self esteem. But, again, you want her to have a healthy response to dogs and still allow her to require dog owners to control their animals.
I have had children run up to my leashed dog and try to pick them up. It is very easy to injure a small dog by picking them up incorrectly or dropping them. Why shouldn't I get upset when someone doesn't control their children around my controlled pet?
IMO, you SHOULD be upset. Most GOOD parents would not allow their child to run up and try to pick up a dog. And I like to believe most GOOD dog owners would not allow their dog to jump on another person, especially a child. The problems mainly arise with people who are not good stewards of those under their care.
In my experience, I've seen many more dogs cross into personal boundaries of people than the other way around.
She sounds little, as you said you have to pick her up if she's near a dog, and will be starting school soon. Is there a reason she is so afraid? Was she ever attacked by a dog? Did she have a bad or scary experience with one? Is she just not used to being around them?
Introduce her to dogs. Maybe start with little dogs, friendly ones, if you know anyone who has a sweet little dog. I have the sweetest, most gentle Cavalier King Charles Spaniel. She would never hurt a soul, truly. Never has, never will. She would lick you to death, though. So I would recommend introducing her to a small dog like that. More her size, one she could hold and put on her lap (one that doesn't mind being manhandled). Big dogs are very intimidating - even for adults sometimes. If she can see that not all dogs are big and "scary," and some are cute, little and fluffy, maybe it will help.
If you can't figure it out on your own, I would get her help for it. She may never truly be "over it" (I only say this because I don't know the circumstances behind why she is so afraid of them), but she can manage the fear with help. She can't expect everyone around her to keep their dogs at a distance in public parks or stores (if dogs are allowed or if they're service dogs), so the issue does need to be resolved, and it's good that you recognize that.
So you would ask people to leash their dogs in a park because your son was afraid of them? And you would say so "sternly," to boot - sternly order a complete stranger to leash their dog? No one's telling me to leash my dog (save for a cop or something by actual lawful order). How about take your kid away from the dog? If necessary, leave the park all together. It's a public park, as long as the rules don't forbid dogs from being off the leash, you have no right to ask someone to leash their dog because your son is afraid of dogs. Just my opinion at least. Sounds like the classic parent entitlement attitude - MY kid this, MY kid that.
Depending on the circumstances and layout/size of the park, I would at least try to stay away from you and your kid if I were in that situation, but I would probably not leash my dog simply because some stranger asked me to. No wonder no one cared when you said it didn't matter how friendly their dogs were.
Keep in mind I have a 14 pound little dog and it's hard for her to go attack anyone. The most she will do is run up to you, jump on your legs, and lick you. But don't picture an 80 pound beast running full speed at you from 100 yards away and knocking you over. That's not how it is with mine. I do admit those can be scary. Many of my family members have labs, for example, and young labs are very excitable.
We were at a park where dogs are legally required to be on leash. So yes I will sternly say to a stranger to leash their dog. It doesn't matter the size of the dog, my son was deathly afraid. He shouldn't suffer because a sanctimonious dog owner is playing with their dog off leash. I would never subject my son to a dog park with off leash dogs.
Many dog owners fail to understand a stranger does not know the dog is friendly. A very friendly dog who would never ever bite some one attacked my son and later the daughter of the owner. So save me the speech of not caring about friendly dogs.
hehe, right? ...but that pit bull would never bite anyone...
I love dogs. It's the owners that are the problem. A dog is an animal. If it gets set off it will bite. Anyone. Any dog. Some owners simply do.not.get.this. Also, they let them crap everywhere and don't pick up. Then they chain them up inside to let them yap frantically all day (rather cruel) and after all this it's a "Oh you don't like dogs? What's wrong with you?" arg... Yeah best to get your daughter not only used to dogs, but more important, people. People can be dolts.
OK, dogs in stores apparently is becoming the norm.
Problem is my daughter is deathly afraid of dogs. It's annoying to us as parents as we have to pick her up if there is a dog within 100', but now that she is getting bigger and soon will enter public school, it will become a problem if she doesn't outgrow this issue.
I've had two social issues that have been a little hard to handle "correctly".
Instance #1: On hiking trail, stopped at a hiker's break area with picnic tables. Daughter is sitting on top of picnic tables. Another hiker with dogs off leash approaches, and dogs get excited to see daughter and scamper up on top of picnic table. Daughter freaks out as she doesn't want dogs running toward her.
Instance #2: In store today. Dog enters store. Daughter gets nervous. Dog starts to bark at daughter.
How would you handle either of those two situations? Especially the dogs in stores situation.
Get your kid some therepy. Despite what you may have been led to belive, the world isn't going to change for her or you.
You have missed the point that dogs are WELCOME in stores. The entire world is not going to change because your daughter is allergic to dogs. Get over yourself .....I don't take my dogs in stores that dogs are not allowed only the ones that they are allowed in so fair is fair. Leave your daughter home from stores where dogs are allowed and you can be safe I guess.
Where are you finding all these stores where dogs are welcome? Because I certainly don't see many, if any at all. Certainly no place where food is sold or served, because it's illegal in every state that I know of.
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So I would recommend introducing her to a small dog like that. More her size, one she could hold and put on her lap (one that doesn't mind being manhandled). Big dogs are very intimidating - even for adults sometimes. If she can see that not all dogs are big and "scary," and some are cute, little and fluffy, maybe it will help. 
No one's telling me to leash my dog (save for a cop or something by actual lawful order). How about take your kid away from the dog? If necessary, leave the park all together. It's a public park, as long as the rules don't forbid dogs from being off the leash, you have no right to ask someone to leash their dog because your son is afraid of dogs. Just my opinion at least. Sounds like the classic parent entitlement attitude - MY kid this, MY kid that. 
