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Maybe she wanted to give the baby up because she actually did love it and knew someone else could do a way better job than she could. It's a common misperception that people give up their babies because they don't love them. There are plenty of adopted children out there who will tell you that they had a much better life because of the loving decision their birth parent made.
I'm one of those adoptees, and I'm incredibly thankful that my birthmother placed me for adoption.
How is abandoning your own child at a doorstep and not loving it enough ok to you? Regardless of whether she was suffering from postpartum depression or not, abandoning her own child at a doorstep was deplorable. Moderator cut: orphaned]
When you order something from Apple Computer, and I mean anything, a $29.95 piece of software, the driver must get a signature before leaving the package. We aren't even talking about something alive, just a box of software and they refuse to leave it on a doorstep. The very idea of leaving a living person on someone's doorstep is insane especially in modern times where there are services available and many different options.
It's completely unethical and selfish. I may not have experienced this firsthand but my values tell me what she did was messed up. The fact she gave her baby to some other random family so they could love her the way she couldn't is also really messed up. She should love her child more than anything.
Giving up your child because you realize you cannot give them the love and care they deserve is one of the most selfless things a parent can do.
Quote:
Originally Posted by castle.knights
I can't fathom not being loved by my mom. Also, the fact she herself was abandoned as a baby and put in foster care makes what she did even worse because she knew what it would be like growing up without biological parents.
But she can, she knows what it's like to have parents who didn't or don't want you. She doesn't want that life for her child.
She was also 15, grown adults who are trying to have a child they planned for still struggle. Statistically speaking, the hardest time in a MARRIAGE is when you have your first child.
Quote:
Originally Posted by castle.knights
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I feel extremely tempted to talk to her daughter, she's nearly 15 now, she could tell me what her life's been like without a biological mom.
Do you even know what happened? Did she actually give the child away?
I would know because my mom loves me more than anyone. She'd never do anything like that to me.And you have to be extremely heartless to not love your own child. My mom always told me a mother's love is the purest and most genuine of all. Are you honestly going against that?
Apparently not.
When you were only 19, you committed fraud. You could pay a fine of $550 or go to jail for 3 months.
Your mother obviously didn't love you enough to loan you $550. What kind of loving mother lets their 19 yr old spend 3 months in jail when by your own admission they are "well off".
If you showed up at my house wanting to talk to MY minor child (a 15 year old is still a minor), I as the parent would want to know what was going on and what are YOU? I would be taking note of your name, description, car description, etc., and I would be contacting the police to give them a heads up.
You were not so very concerned 15 years ago. You abandoned your so-called "friend" at a time in her life when she needed support more than ever. You were a bad friend then, and you are a bothersome meddler now.
Leave.Her.Alone.
I was thinking the same thing. A 32-year-old woman contacts my 15-year-old daughter out of the blue? I'd be calling the police ASAP.
OP, you already have a criminal record and have already shown poor judgment. Are you sure you want to risk being charged with harassment or worse? You should be thinking about dealing with your own mistakes and leave other people to deal with theirs.
Do you even know what happened? Did she actually give the child away?
She did. I know because she called me right after she did it and told me she'd waited until the family opened the door and noticed the baby and then she left. That was the last time we spoke. I saw her at our high school graduation though and last I heard she was an ER Nurse.
It's safe to say she definitely gave it away.
Your premise just is not believable. This didn't happen in the 1800s or even the 1950s. It is highly unlikely that in the late 1990s/2000 a teenager in the neighborhood would be pregnant and DELIVER a baby, meanwhile a random baby would show up on a doorstep with NO questions asked by anyone around there.
When you were only 19, you committed fraud. You could pay a fine of $550 or go to jail for 3 months.
Your mother obviously didn't love you enough to loan you $550. What kind of loving mother lets their 19 yr old spend 3 months in jail when by your own admission they are "well off".
You said it yourself. I committed fraud. Since when does doing something morally and legally incorrect and actually having to pay the price and having to deal with the consequences of my actions lack of love from my parents? I was 19, legally an adult so they had no obligation to help me out. Is love to you letting your child off the hook when they mess up big time? My parents were always for the whole "tough love" concept, but all in all they love me more than anything. Always have.
Your premise just is not believable. This didn't happen in the 1800s or even the 1950s. It is highly unlikely that in the late 1990s/2000 a teenager in the neighborhood would be pregnant and DELIVER a baby, meanwhile a random baby would show up on a doorstep with NO questions asked by anyone around there.
First of all, there were definitely questions asked, I never said this whole thing went by un-noticed, inevitably it didn't just go by willy nilly. It raised A LOT of eyebrows. All I know is that she definitely didn't keep the baby, she'd have no reason to lie to me.
Also, we grew up in New York, even though I don't know the details, I'm pretty sure she could have left the baby somewhere more secluded and away from our neighborhood. I don't know. It's not like I interrogated her.
I'm going to ignore the part about me "making all this up" I don't need to explain the inevitable. I'm a 32 year old woman dealing with a lot of issues, I have far, far more productive things to do with my time than go on an online forum and create a whole novel. This is obviously something I'm genuinely thinking about. But I'll let you draw your own conclusions.
You have to remember, this happened 15 years ago and it's not like I was there. I distanced myself after everything. All I know is the baby was abandoned. Even my mother had heard about the whole baby hoopla and that says something.
Your premise just is not believable. This didn't happen in the 1800s or even the 1950s. It is highly unlikely that in the late 1990s/2000 a teenager in the neighborhood would be pregnant and DELIVER a baby, meanwhile a random baby would show up on a doorstep with NO questions asked by anyone around there.
I'm putting money on the "making it up". Too many inconsistencies in ALL her stories.
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