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Hah, I have limited english vocabulary. ;-D I mean she baked it herself (didn't buy it.) Yes, the sandwiches were to herself. Firstly, I'm not overly sensitive person in general. That's why this sounds so crazy that I'm actually thinking whether there's a hidden agenda in a cake or not. If someone else had a similar "problem" I'd just comment that please, could you get a life. I'm not usually spending my time wondering such things. I mean this thread sort of lost its track, I didn't mean that everyone should be guessing whether it was a genuine gesture or not more likely I just wanted to open up of her behaviour, and if anyone has similar experiences of people that aren't sincere. (whether it was genuine or not) And yes we have been close friends but recently I've taken distance of her.
lol That's funny, OP. But the main question your topic brings up is: will you be inviting your so-called "friend" to any more gatherings? Or will you be moving the friendship, such as it is, to a back burner? You don't have to cut her off completely, if you feel that would be awkward. You can simply decrease the frequency with which you see her, or invite her only to hang out with you one-on-one, so she can't create issues or try to make you look bad in front of your other friends.
So, after all this discussion, where do you stand on that question?
Are you in the UK (spelling of "behaviour")? 'Cause if you are, we Americans are going to have a totally different social mindset than you and not be much help. Also, if you are, what are you doing posting on this site??
This epidemic of bringing unsolicited cakes to social gatherings has gotten out of hand. Now it has escalated to bringing sandwiches to oneself (though the meaning there is not entirely clear). Where will it stop? We must act quickly or risk slipping back into the barbarism of potlucks and the delivery of casseroles to bereaved families.
I have a close friend though I have put some distance between us because of her behaviour. I've always thought that there is something "different" with her compared to any other friend I've had. But in the recent years I've questioned her behaviour even more; she can be negative, very jealous, manipulative and insulting. There are insulting things that she has done or said and some of the comments have been so "sneaky" that only afterwards I have figured out that her actual point was to insult me.
Some time ago I invited her and couple of other friends to have some wine and snacks at my place, I told the specific friend that I've just some wine to serve, she answered me that it is totally fine and nothing else is needed! (since our plan was to head to bar afterwards)
Fiends appeared in my place around 10 PM, and the friend came with a self baked cake. (The type of cake which doesn't require much effort or time but I was still a bit amazed.) For example once in a similar kind of friend gathering I had baked some pastry and she made a comment that it looked so nice....as I obviously have so much more time, as she is so busy with her life so she has to settle for "ready pastry". Yeah, obviously true as I was jobless back then but just as an example how she seems to be unable to pay a compliment without a little insult in it.)
I know this is ridiculously small thing and it was totally informal evening of meeting friends at my place but I just can't help my self thinking about what (actually) was her point. If any other brought a cake I'd just be grateful of the effort and think that she wanted to delight as I didn't have much to serve. But with her it just makes me feel that her pursuit was to embarrass me and have attention to herself. I just find it weird that firstly she says that it's totally okay not having anything besides wine but then she shows up with a cake even though she hardly ever bakes and it was supposed to be just a moment before heading to bar. I know I sound crazy and over-dramatic but I just think this was just an other attempt to make herself look better at my expense. What do you think?
(Sorry about my english. :P)
Here's an idea...
Talk to your friend. Tell her how your interpreted her actions and see what she says.
She'll know how you felt about what she said and did, and she can explain what she meant, if anything, by her actions. The two of you will have a better understanding of how each other take what is said and done, and hopefully there will be no more stress between you.
Good luck.
Are you in the UK (spelling of "behaviour")? 'Cause if you are, we Americans are going to have a totally different social mindset than you and not be much help. Also, if you are, what are you doing posting on this site??
Either she was trying to tell you that you are either in a real jam or a real pickle. And then she went and preserved that nasty moment for you!
Good one!
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