Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Thank you, you are the only one that got the point. Point wasn't bringing the cake but bringing the cake based on the earlier motives. I didn't really got offended (but if her attempt was to get me insulted) I don't want such people in my life that tries to get me offended. When you have such people in your life that have tendency to sneaky behaviour you kind of start questioning yourself as well that am I going crazy or is this again something that I should be aware of the hidden agenda. It's hard to try to describe the situation to someone who has no experience of such persons.
And btw she did eat the cake for someone that suspected that.
You're trying to see motive where there may not have been any. Just because there were motives in the past, that doesn't necessarily mean there were motives this time. Perhaps she just wanted to do something nice.
I wouldn't want the kind of friend who is always assuming negative intent like you are.
You're trying to see motive where there may not have been any. Just because there were motives in the past, that doesn't necessarily mean there were motives this time. Perhaps she just wanted to do something nice.
I wouldn't want the kind of friend who is always assuming negative intent like you are.
Yeah, that's very possible. It could be true that it really was a genuine gesture but because of her character (?) it's hard to know and that's why it is hard to be friend with someone like her as you find yourself analyzing someone's behaviour. "I wouldn't want the kind of friend who is always assuming negative intent like you are. " Let's say you are always lying to your friend and you suddenly stop lying but your friend still suspect you being lying, does it make your friend a bad friend? No.
Let's say you are always lying to your friend and you suddenly stop lying but your friend still suspect you being lying, does it make your friend a bad friend? No.
But it would make my friend a chump for associating with someone who'd lie to her constantly. That's not a friend.
I have a close friend though I have put some distance between us because of her behaviour. I've always thought that there is something "different" with her compared to any other friend I've had. But in the recent years I've questioned her behaviour even more; she can be negative, very jealous, manipulative and insulting. There are insulting things that she has done or said and some of the comments have been so "sneaky" that only afterwards I have figured out that her actual point was to insult me.
Some time ago I invited her and couple of other friends to have some wine and snacks at my place, I told the specific friend that I've just some wine to serve, she answered me that it is totally fine and nothing else is needed! (since our plan was to head to bar afterwards)
Fiends appeared in my place around 10 PM, and the friend came with a self baked cake. (The type of cake which doesn't require much effort or time but I was still a bit amazed.) For example once in a similar kind of friend gathering I had baked some pastry and she made a comment that it looked so nice....as I obviously have so much more time, as she is so busy with her life so she has to settle for "ready pastry". Yeah, obviously true as I was jobless back then but just as an example how she seems to be unable to pay a compliment without a little insult in it.)
I know this is ridiculously small thing and it was totally informal evening of meeting friends at my place but I just can't help my self thinking about what (actually) was her point. If any other brought a cake I'd just be grateful of the effort and think that she wanted to delight as I didn't have much to serve. But with her it just makes me feel that her pursuit was to embarrass me and have attention to herself. I just find it weird that firstly she says that it's totally okay not having anything besides wine but then she shows up with a cake even though she hardly ever bakes and it was supposed to be just a moment before heading to bar. I know I sound crazy and over-dramatic but I just think this was just an other attempt to make herself look better at my expense. What do you think?
(Sorry about my english. :P)
Kick the jerk to the curb. I ain't got no time for that kind of passive aggressive BS behavior. That backhanded compliment stuff gets really really old quick.
I don't have a lot of friends in real life and most certainly not going to entertain some knuckle draggin fool like your friend appears to be.
Yeah, that's very possible. It could be true that it really was a genuine gesture but because of her character (?) it's hard to know and that's why it is hard to be friend with someone like her as you find yourself analyzing someone's behaviour. "I wouldn't want the kind of friend who is always assuming negative intent like you are. " Let's say you are always lying to your friend and you suddenly stop lying but your friend still suspect you being lying, does it make your friend a bad friend? No.
Then stop associating with her. Problem solved. You'll be doing both of you a favor.
But it would make my friend a chump for associating with someone who'd lie to her constantly. That's not a friend.
99% of the commenters here thought there was something wrong with me instead of my friend who made a lovely gesture. So probably I have had similar doubts in my mind about her earlier actions as well? If it was so clear that she is a bad friend inside out I probably would not have done this post.
I have a close friend though I have put some distance between us because of her behaviour. I've always thought that there is something "different" with her compared to any other friend I've had. But in the recent years I've questioned her behaviour even more; she can be negative, very jealous, manipulative and insulting. There are insulting things that she has done or said and some of the comments have been so "sneaky" that only afterwards I have figured out that her actual point was to insult me.
Some time ago I invited her and couple of other friends to have some wine and snacks at my place, I told the specific friend that I've just some wine to serve, she answered me that it is totally fine and nothing else is needed! (since our plan was to head to bar afterwards)
Fiends appeared in my place around 10 PM, and the friend came with a self baked cake. (The type of cake which doesn't require much effort or time but I was still a bit amazed.) For example once in a similar kind of friend gathering I had baked some pastry and she made a comment that it looked so nice....as I obviously have so much more time, as she is so busy with her life so she has to settle for "ready pastry". Yeah, obviously true as I was jobless back then but just as an example how she seems to be unable to pay a compliment without a little insult in it.)
I know this is ridiculously small thing and it was totally informal evening of meeting friends at my place but I just can't help my self thinking about what (actually) was her point. If any other brought a cake I'd just be grateful of the effort and think that she wanted to delight as I didn't have much to serve. But with her it just makes me feel that her pursuit was to embarrass me and have attention to herself. I just find it weird that firstly she says that it's totally okay not having anything besides wine but then she shows up with a cake even though she hardly ever bakes and it was supposed to be just a moment before heading to bar. I know I sound crazy and over-dramatic but I just think this was just an other attempt to make herself look better at my expense. What do you think?
(Sorry about my english. :P)
Absolutely agree that you are crazy and over-dramatic. But your friend sounds like a lovely, caring person.
Maybe I missed it a bit earlier. Have you indicated that you have voiced your concerns to this person at any time?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
