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To make a long story short, a male relative that I see a few times a year said something I find offensive and annoying in an email he wrote to me. It may not be a big deal to a lot of you, but it is to me. He basically indicated that I should check with my father on how much electricity a potential new appliance would use so I can determine whether it's cost effective or not. Basically, he's suggesting that as a woman, I am not capable of calculating the kWh the appliance will use and how much it will cost to run it per year. I find that offensive. This is 2016, not 1940. Women are very capable of doing anything a man can do. In fact, I do several home repairs myself and probably know more about tools than this male relative. I'm actually suprised at him. I'm sure he didn't mean anything by it, but I ,snip>expected more from a 50 year old <snip> man. I thought he would be liberated enough not to think like that. Even my 80 year old uncle knows better than that.
I'm supposed to respond back to this relative, but I cannot bring myself to do so without mentioning that what he said was offensive to me. So my choices are to ignore the email or find a way to politely tell him I was offended.
Suggestions? The email was sent five days ago and I'm still annoyed by it. I usually get over stuff pretty quickly.
Last edited by Miss Blue; 11-16-2016 at 05:56 AM..
Reason: His sexual preference is not going to be discussed in this thread
To make a long story short, a male relative that I see a few times a year said something I find offensive and annoying in an email he wrote to me. It may not be a big deal to a lot of you, but it is to me. He basically indicated that I should check with my father on how much electricity a potential new appliance would use so I can determine whether it's cost effective or not. Basically, he's suggesting that as a woman, I am not capable of calculating the kWh the appliance will use and how much it will cost to run it per year. I find that offensive. This is 2016, not 1940. Women are very capable of doing anything a man can do. In fact, I do several home repairs myself and probably know more about tools than this male relative. I'm actually suprised at him. I'm sure he didn't mean anything by it, but I expected more from a 50 year old<snip> man. I thought he would be liberated enough not to think like that. Even my 80 year old uncle knows better than that.
I'm supposed to respond back to this relative, but I cannot bring myself to do so without mentioning that what he said was offensive to me. So my choices are to ignore the email or find a way to politely tell him I was offended.
Suggestions? The email was sent five days ago and I'm still annoyed by it. I usually get over stuff pretty quickly.
Moderator cut: orphaned response
Maybe there's a reason he said that that had nothing to do with the fact you're a woman.
Or you can just be pissed off for 5 days and counting.
You obviously aren't going to ignore the email so just tell him you were offended and move on with your life.
Last edited by Miss Blue; 11-16-2016 at 05:58 AM..
I would answer with a highly technical essay about the appliance (stolen from the net or with help from a friend). I would make sound so professional that he'll spill his morning coffee in surprise when he reads it.
And then I would add that I just rewired my whole house because the electric is so old and needed upgrade and that next year I am thinking of buying broken appliances, fix them up and sell them .
To make a long story short, a male relative that I see a few times a year said something I find offensive and annoying in an email he wrote to me. It may not be a big deal to a lot of you, but it is to me. He basically indicated that I should check with my father on how much electricity a potential new appliance would use so I can determine whether it's cost effective or not. Basically, he's suggesting that as a woman, I am not capable of calculating the kWh the appliance will use and how much it will cost to run it per year. I find that offensive. This is 2016, not 1940. Women are very capable of doing anything a man can do. In fact, I do several home repairs myself and probably know more about tools than this male relative. I'm actually suprised at him. I'm sure he didn't mean anything by it, but I expected more from a 50 year old<snip>man. I thought he would be liberated enough not to think like that. Even my 80 year old uncle knows better than that.
I'm supposed to respond back to this relative, but I cannot bring myself to do so without mentioning that what he said was offensive to me. So my choices are to ignore the email or find a way to politely tell him I was offended.
Suggestions? The email was sent five days ago and I'm still annoyed by it. I usually get over stuff pretty quickly.
So tell him you can make this determination yourself and move on to something that is actually offensive and important.
Also, his sexual preference really has nothing to do with this situation so there is no reason to mention it unless of course your intention is to bash someone who is gay.
It appears bashing someone who is gay could be your intention simply because you used all capital letters for that one word, move on already.
Last edited by Miss Blue; 11-17-2016 at 09:53 PM..
To make a long story short, a male relative that I see a few times a year said something I find offensive and annoying in an email he wrote to me. It may not be a big deal to a lot of you, but it is to me. He basically indicated that I should check with my father on how much electricity a potential new appliance would use so I can determine whether it's cost effective or not. Basically, he's suggesting that as a woman, I am not capable of calculating the kWh the appliance will use and how much it will cost to run it per year. I find that offensive. This is 2016, not 1940. Women are very capable of doing anything a man can do. In fact, I do several home repairs myself and probably know more about tools than this male relative. I'm actually suprised at him. I'm sure he didn't mean anything by it, but I expected more from a 50 year old GAY man. I thought he would be liberated enough not to think like that. Even my 80 year old uncle knows better than that.
I'm supposed to respond back to this relative, but I cannot bring myself to do so without mentioning that what he said was offensive to me. So my choices are to ignore the email or find a way to politely tell him I was offended.
Suggestions? The email was sent five days ago and I'm still annoyed by it. I usually get over stuff pretty quickly.
Get that chip off your shoulder and stop being offended.
If you know he didn't mean anything by it why get your knickers in a bunch. Just thank him for his concern and tell him you've got it covered.
Do you think if you told him you knew how to handle electrical issues, he would be shocked?
I'm not a woman, although I have lived with several. Why not message him back and ask him if he meant to include what you considered a sexist remark in his email.
I doubt it was intentional, but it should get him thinking. I don't think the incident is worth more than that.
OP, I would just say something like, "Thanks, but I've already calculated the appliance's energy use myself. Dad isn't very good with that kind of thing; I'm the family handyman/woman around here", and leave it at that. Light and breezy, but effective.
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