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We worked together part time at the same store for about 4-5 years (I've been there about 3 years more than he) We got along fairly well when I first met him, but I had my own life at the time. Taking care of my sick father, taking care of a horse, and I had two best friends at the time. Back then, I never really hung out with him or the others after work. Well, I started to go through some really tough times. My horse got sick and I had to put him down. Then one of my best friends got kicked in the head by her horse and was stuck in a vegetated state to this day. Then my father died. Then we got word that the store we were at was going to shut down for renovations and that we would all be relocated to the other various stores in the county. In the end, he and I were the only ones sent to the same store. It was also coincidence his brother was also my supervisor. Because of the move, my friend and I started to become more closer, and we found out that while I worked full time as a QC inspector at a technology factory, he just so happened to be going to college for technology. Then we started to bond over alcohol. He thought it was funny when I told him I prefer moonshine to beer. Despite the few similarities we had, I think it's our extreme differences that was interesting. I'm 10 years older than him, a white country girl who was an only child. He is a 1st generation Haitian who is the youngest of 7 kids.
My one best friend I had left had moved to another city when she found out she had cancer, so yes, at the time, I had no friends I really hung out, and was a bit alone. He started to invite me to hang out with the gang, and I did. Then I get the horrible news, my best friend lost her battle to cancer. That same night, I came to work, did my chores, hung out with the work buddies, including my friend. I drunk a little bit too much, and really didn't say anything. Everyone departed the parking lot, and I got in my car, but realized I was too drunk to drive, so I got out and sat back on the benches, and that's when the realization of losing my dad, horse and my two best friends really hit, and I started to cry. I guess he was almost gone out of the parking lot and seen me in his rearview mirror, and he turned around and came back to see what was wrong. I told him and he hugged me and let me cry on his shoulder till like 4 in the morning, until I was sober enough to drive. He followed me home to make sure I was OK, and since then I considered him to be a very good friend. Sure, there were others that I would hang out with, but if there was a party being planned, or an outing, he was the one that always would text me to let me know. If my car broke down, he'd come out and help me. One night, I got stupid at a bar, went home with some guy that ended up being a one night stand, and the jerk pretty much kicked me out of his house at 6 in the morning. My buddy just happened to call me at that moment when he got word I never made it home, so I asked him to come pick me up, and he drove a good 50 miles to do that. Then, when his car broke down, I would drive him to and from work, and I even let him borrow my car a few times to take a girl he liked out on a few dates. We just had a very good friendship where we could have fun and depend on eachother when in need.
Then one day, he asked me to come to the bar next door to the store, and he introduced me to his cigar buddies. For about a month, everything seemed to be fine. His cigar buddies, and the stores gang, all got along great. Then around March, is when I started to notice a change. He started to keep the cigar guys separate from the store friends. He stopped hanging out with us, and more with them. He started to change from being the happy go lucky, dependable fun guy, to all of a sudden, very quiet and secretive. We would make plans to go do something, and he would cancel them to hang out with the cigar guys and the strip clubs. Then that's when his brother wanted me to find out what was going on, and you guys know the rest.
He helped me through a really tough time in my life, and it's just heartbreaking watching my friend change literally, into a once happy person, into a monster.
Proof that we shouldn't presume to know a person's situation based off a couple paragraphs on an internet post. What a heartwarming story. Thanks for sharing the complexities of your relationship with him. I can see why you don't feel like you can just, "walk away," even though that is what would appear to make the most sense. Good luck. I'm sure you"ll make the right decision.
OK, you were thrown together by work circumstances, you bonded while drinking, he once saved you from getting a DUI, and after that you were besties? Despite living completely different lifestyles?
It sounds more like you are drinking buddies who rescue and enable each other.
Do you see how crazy this sounds as a basis for friendship?
OK, you were thrown together by work circumstances, you bonded while drinking, he once saved you from getting a DUI, and after that you were besties? Despite living completely different lifestyles?
It sounds more like you are drinking buddies who rescue and enable each other.
Do you see how crazy this sounds as a basis for friendship?
Lose him and stop drinking alcoholically.
Trust me, he was more than a drinking buddy. On our days off, we would hang at each other's houses, sometimes the whole weekend, trying new recipes, watching movies or playing video games, or he would help me around my house and I would help him with his school. We would go to football games (he had bought seasonal tickets to the Florida Hurricanes that he invited me to all the time) carnivals, Disney World a few times, a cruise ship once. I just don't think you understand zentropa.
And oh, by the way, most of my friends I have had were either school or work related. What difference does it matter where and how you made friends? In my circle, pretty much all of my friends, and their friends and the relationships are because of the job. Heck, the last two big parties my buddy and I went to were a wedding for a girlfriend of ours (she met her husband, on the job, she's a cashier at our store, and he's a produce manager at the same store. Her customer service manager was the one who set them up. And the other was a baby shower of another girlfriend of ours, where she worked in the deli and her boyfriend was the manager of the deli. They started to grow a relationship about 3 years ago from "hanging out" on the job.
Last edited by warhorse78; 11-27-2016 at 06:52 AM..
And my poor friend, still lives with mom, in the hood. He drives a beat up 92 Honda civic that keeps having to get work done, wears clothes that are decades old, wears shoes that are falling apart. Despite him going to school, living with mom and making decent money at the store as a grocery clerk, he just can't seem to get out of this hole he's in.
Because he is buying drugs with that money.
He is choosing this life for whatever reason, and he has to want to get better for himself.
Proof that we shouldn't presume to know a person's situation based off a couple paragraphs on an internet post. What a heartwarming story. Thanks for sharing the complexities of your relationship with him. I can see why you don't feel like you can just, "walk away," even though that is what would appear to make the most sense. Good luck. I'm sure you"ll make the right decision.
Thank you for being nice and understanding. Like I said, he's been a good friend for 4 years to me, I'm good friends with his family. But, I'm going to have to let him be, and just hope he can get out of this funk before it kills him. But he's just too dangerous to be around anymore. A few other of our friends are concerned as well, because he used to be such a nice, friendly guy, but they too, are just going to leave him alone, and hope he gets out of this.
I just wish some people here understand that some of us, just can't walk away so easily.
I just wish some people here understand that some of us, just can't walk away so easily.
I do understand, as I have been there. It absolutely is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. My cousin was my best friend for most of my life.
The ONLY thing that worked was when everyone dropped her and refused to speak to her at ALL. No answered calls, no returned emails, no answering the door.
Not walking away gives the addict the false hope that you will be there for him when he falls.
You cannot give him that false hope.
He has to believe that he is completely on his own, or he will never feel the need to seek help on his own.
Wow, this guy friend of mine has turned into a full on jerk. I got invited by his family, our friends and several co-workers to come out for one of his brother's birthday party at a restaurant/dance club. He showed up, but in the past, he would be all out there dancing and having fun, this time, he just stood in the corner and was on his phone the whole time. Later on, when we were finally all packing up to go, his mom had asked him to take his sister home since it was on the way. He nodded yeah. Later on, I come out to the parking lot to see everyone surrounding his sister. I guess she was following him to his car, when he apparently forgot he was suppose to take her home, and he told her he was tired and going home. She was like, her place was on the way to his house, so she jumped into his car to try and force him to take her home, and he dragged her out of his car by force, pushed her down and then sped off. I decided to go ahead and take her home, and last minute, agreed to take his brother too, who just happens to stay with him.
This all happened on Friday, and today I got word that he did go directly home, and the next day, his mom found out what he did to his sister, and kicked him out of the house and told him not to come back till he straightens his ass out. Apparently she's thinking of getting her daughter to press assault charges on him. Damn, how far and quick he has fallen. I definitely think it's drugs.
this time, he just stood in the corner and was on his phone the whole time.
That's the meth. It causes people to become introverts.
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Originally Posted by warhorse78
so she jumped into his car to try and force him to take her home, and he dragged her out of his car by force, pushed her down and then sped off.
She tried to force him into making him care.
Quote:
Originally Posted by warhorse78
I definitely think it's drugs.
Yes. Now let him go.
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