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I'm good friends with people that I work with, most of them men, with a few gals. Plus, some of the male workers had sisters or female cousins that would stop by, and it was fun having us all chill and do things. But long story short, a new manager had been transferred to the store. He was nice and cool to hang out, but shortly after he made himself at home with our gang and hangout spot, he introduced us to his friends. His friends all tried to make uncomfortable moves on me and the other girls in the pack, but we knew they were dogs and didn't want to have nothing to do with them in that way. A week later, we all show up, and my manager told me and another girl who happened to be the sister of one of the male workers, that it's going to be a guys only night. We were like, since when? He said just that night.
That night ended up now being almost all the time. Thing is, when they do go hang out, it's to the dance clubs, strip clubs. But one day, we were at work making plans to go to the movies, and he was like, naw, guys only, unless you are there for our sexual pleasure. And our co-workers, which I bitched out my one male friend for not standing up for us, feel like their hands are tied because he's their boss.
So, what kind of man doesn't want women around unless they are for his exploitation, pleasure or entertainment? And I've been noticing this has been a growing trend lately.
If this was at work, it was sexual harassment and needs to be reported. You are not there for anyone's sexual pleasure and to discuss it at work is illegal.
This is definitely an HR department thing. If the manager is organizing outings that are essentially male only because they are at strip clubs, that's essentially putting the females at a disadvantage because they are unable to network outside of work and do what they need to do to move up. I worked in an office like that once (where a manager was organizing strip club outings) and there the women were welcome to come, but of course it made us uncomfortable and we refused. That was not the point. The point was that the manager shouldn't have been organizing departmental outings after work to a strip club because it created a hostile work environment for the women.
This is definitely an HR department thing. If the manager is organizing outings that are essentially male only because they are at strip clubs, that's essentially putting the females at a disadvantage because they are unable to network outside of work and do what they need to do to move up. I worked in an office like that once (where a manager was organizing strip club outings) and there the women were welcome to come, but of course it made us uncomfortable and we refused. That was not the point. The point was that the manager shouldn't have been organizing departmental outings after work to a strip club because it created a hostile work environment for the women.
Technically, the manager (and male coworkers) can do whatever they please during non-work hours. There is no requirement to invite anyone else (male Orr female). I'm not sure I'd call it a "Departmental Outing."
I am assuming that by saying he comes to "your hangout spot," that you're talking about a non work location. One could make a case that there is a nexus to the workplace, but you mention a lot of nonwork people attending, and this does not sound like a quasi work function either. It's more like a bunch of friends getting together. The gray area for me is that it sounds like you have a bunch of coworkers who also share a social life together. There's nothing wrong with that, but I think it creates a murky distinction between what's work and what's not.
Where the problem comes in is his comments AND behavior at work. That is definitely sexual harassing behavior, and needs to be addressed through your HR Department.
In any case, he sounds like a sleaze, who isn't long for his current position.
Technically, the manager (and male coworkers) can do whatever they please during non-work hours. There is no requirement to invite anyone else (male Orr female). I'm not sure I'd call it a "Departmental Outing."
Are you sure about that?
Because he said it was guys only, while they were at work. Also she has a history of going out with the group after work, not her manager is telling her she is not longer welcome BECAUSE SHE IS A WOMEN.
If if this is not sexual harassment it could be harassment or bullying. It certainly is not something I would do.
excluding co-workers from non-company sponsored activities outside of the workplace is unlikely violating any company policy. However, discussions of those activities ("hey, how 'bout those boobs on that dancer last night?") that contribute to a hostile or harassing workplace environment and likely are violating company policy and is a bone-head move by any supervisor that takes part.
Hate to say it but what it sounds like to me is that everyone in that organization who has participated in any of this prior to this new manager coming onboard or afterward is very immature.
I would just look for another job and hope that the staff at your next workplace is more grown up. Just move on.
I wouldn't make a fuss about the whole thing or look for ways to prove some kind of harassment or discrimination (I would just get out). I do realize though that so many of the younger generation now have no regard for anyone but themselves (ironically at the same times as they view themselves as social justice warriors) - and that goes for women and men alike - so I am sure that someone is going to blow the whole thing up somehow.
Hate to say it but what it sounds like to me is that everyone in that organization who has participated in any of this prior to this new manager coming onboard or afterward is very immature.
I would just look for another job and hope that the staff at your next workplace is more grown up. Just move on.
I wouldn't make a fuss about the whole thing or look for ways to prove some kind of harassment or discrimination (I would just get out). I do realize though that so many of the younger generation now have no regard for anyone but themselves (ironically at the same times as they view themselves as social justice warriors) - and that goes for women and men alike - so I am sure that someone is going to blow the whole thing up somehow.
Moving on is easier said than done, for some people. It's not always an option. And the OP was very happy with the workplace and her colleagues before the new manager came along. Why should she give up a place she loves? Or loved until recently? The OP should talk to HR, if only at the very least to find out if the company has a policy regarding office outings to strip clubs, discriminating against women attending office after-hours outings, and so on. Also, HR should be made aware that this is how the new manager rolls, and that it may cost them employee turnover, which is an expense and inconvenience for the employer.
I'm good friends with people that I work with, most of them men, with a few gals. Plus, some of the male workers had sisters or female cousins that would stop by, and it was fun having us all chill and do things. But long story short, a new manager had been transferred to the store. He was nice and cool to hang out, but shortly after he made himself at home with our gang and hangout spot, he introduced us to his friends. His friends all tried to make uncomfortable moves on me and the other girls in the pack, but we knew they were dogs and didn't want to have nothing to do with them in that way. A week later, we all show up, and my manager told me and another girl who happened to be the sister of one of the male workers, that it's going to be a guys only night. We were like, since when? He said just that night.
That night ended up now being almost all the time. Thing is, when they do go hang out, it's to the dance clubs, strip clubs. But one day, we were at work making plans to go to the movies, and he was like, naw, guys only, unless you are there for our sexual pleasure. And our co-workers, which I bitched out my one male friend for not standing up for us, feel like their hands are tied because he's their boss.
So, what kind of man doesn't want women around unless they are for his exploitation, pleasure or entertainment? And I've been noticing this has been a growing trend lately.
I would report him, if the new mgr has a supervisor. Esp for the sexist comment.
It won't endear you to them, but nothing is going to do that, at this point. He needs to be reported, though. He's excluding some of the workers on after hours worker functions, based on gender. Which is against the law and probably against company policy.
Don't try to convince him otherwise. He won't change. He has told you to your face you are not welcome.
The way he's acting is weird, and I say that being an older woman, having worked with and around men for decades, and having men in the family. Many men like women and feel collegiate with them and see them as people, which of course they are.
When did he become manager? Did it have something to do with Trump's election?
If you can't report him, you may want to look for another job. Because of his opinion of women, you can expect lower raises from here on, and unfairness in work hours and such. He has all but told you he doesn't respect or care for women in the work place. (And some men insist this sort of thing doesn't go on.)
But...IMO, it's not a good idea to chum around too much with co-workers. It's good to do a few things after hours occasionally, for a sense of comradery, but not good to do too much of that. Secrets are spilled, comments are made, familiarity breeds contempt.
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