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He is at a minimum walking the line. Mangers should stay out of work oriented social excursions. They can attend (but it is better they don't). They should never be in charge. Yes - out of work activities organized by a manager CAN be attributed to the company.
These particular men seem a bit sleezy from what is described, but as to why many more average men like to have men only social time is because they want to fully relax, not worry about what they say or how they say it. They want to chug beer, and fart if they have gas. They want to be loud and silly and even rude in the joking way men are often rude to each other. Having women at such an event places all sorts of restrictions and propriety on anything said or done. A group of men who know each other well can say and do things that would be wholly inappropriate and improper in mixed company. So, maybe they just want to relax, let down their guard, forget about propriety, prudence and political correctness for a time. (However in this instance, it might be more nefarious than that).
Moving on is easier said than done, for some people. It's not always an option. And the OP was very happy with the workplace and her colleagues before the new manager came along. Why should she give up a place she loves? Or loved until recently? The OP should talk to HR, if only at the very least to find out if the company has a policy regarding office outings to strip clubs, discriminating against women attending office after-hours outings, and so on. Also, HR should be made aware that this is how the new manager rolls, and that it may cost them employee turnover, which is an expense and inconvenience for the employer.
Huh? The fact that you call it an "office outing," doesn't make it true. smh
He is at a minimum walking the line. Mangers should stay out of work oriented social excursions. They can attend (but it is better they don't). They should never be in charge. Yes - out of work activities organized by a manager CAN be attributed to the company.
These particular men seem a bit sleezy from what is described, but as to why many more average men like to have men only social time is because they want to fully relax, not worry about what they say or how they say it. They want to chug beer, and fart if they have gas. They want to be loud and silly and even rude in the joking way men are often rude to each other. Having women at such an event places all sorts of restrictions and propriety on anything said or done. A group of men who know each other well can say and do things that would be wholly inappropriate and improper in mixed company. So, maybe they just want to relax, let down their guard, forget about propriety, prudence and political correctness for a time. (However in this instance, it might be more nefarious than that).
I very rarely hear of "boy's nights," but I guess those who have them do it for the same reason that women enjoy "girls nights" - which by the way are WAY more common. As to the things that happen at these "boy's nights " the behavior you talk must come from those mythical "locker rooms" that The Donald referenced. I can assure you that in all my years as a male (and I've lived a few), I have not seen the behavior you describe... or since I was a teenager anyway.
I would report him, if the new mgr has a supervisor. Esp for the sexist comment.
It won't endear you to them, but nothing is going to do that, at this point. He needs to be reported, though. He's excluding some of the workers on after hours worker functions, based on gender. Which is against the law and probably against company policy.
Don't try to convince him otherwise. He won't change. He has told you to your face you are not welcome.
The way he's acting is weird, and I say that being an older woman, having worked with and around men for decades, and having men in the family. Many men like women and feel collegiate with them and see them as people, which of course they are.
When did he become manager? Did it have something to do with Trump's election?
If you can't report him, you may want to look for another job. Because of his opinion of women, you can expect lower raises from here on, and unfairness in work hours and such. He has all but told you he doesn't respect or care for women in the work place. (And some men insist this sort of thing doesn't go on.)
But...IMO, it's not a good idea to chum around too much with co-workers. It's good to do a few things after hours occasionally, for a sense of comradery, but not good to do too much of that. Secrets are spilled, comments are made, familiarity breeds contempt.
This! It sees like this group was a little too chummy even before the new boss came along. He may have introduced a different dynamic to the group, but this situation illustrates the exact reason why it's advisable to keep your work and social life separate.
This isn't a "growing trend" by any means. You just never experienced it before. It's called sexism and it's been around forever. Your boss isn't the only man who has no use for women except as sex objects. Steer clear of him and his friends. And take the advice on offer and look for a new job unless you want to start a paper trail that could lead to a law suit.
He is at a minimum walking the line. Mangers should stay out of work oriented social excursions. They can attend (but it is better they don't). They should never be in charge. Yes - out of work activities organized by a manager CAN be attributed to the company.
These particular men seem a bit sleezy from what is described, but as to why many more average men like to have men only social time is because they want to fully relax, not worry about what they say or how they say it. They want to chug beer, and fart if they have gas. They want to be loud and silly and even rude in the joking way men are often rude to each other. Having women at such an event places all sorts of restrictions and propriety on anything said or done. A group of men who know each other well can say and do things that would be wholly inappropriate and improper in mixed company. So, maybe they just want to relax, let down their guard, forget about propriety, prudence and political correctness for a time. (However in this instance, it might be more nefarious than that).
Yes, that is the issue. If the manager organizes an outing, it gives the impression of being related to work. The men (who may not feel comfortable with the outing any more than the females do) don't feel comfortable saying no or commenting negatively because they feel it could negatively impact their performance. Additionally, the women are told flat-out that they cannot come because they are not willing to be sex objects. That is also not acceptable.
If at a later date, it's only the men who attend these outings and toe the party line who get promoted, good raises, good assignments, that also points to a pattern of discrimination/sexism in the workplace. At a minimum, at this point it is creating a hostile work environment.
If three guys at the workplace (non-manager) want to go to a strip club or have a guy's night, that is fine. If the manager is involved or organizing it, that is simply not acceptable unless he's organizing something that is open to everyone on his team equally. I've worked places where there might be activities that could appeal more to one gender than another, but in all cases, anyone was able and welcome to join. For example, I've worked in lots of places that had golf groups and there were usually more men than women, but there was no one excluded due to gender.
If three guys at the workplace (non-manager) want to go to a strip club or have a guy's night, that is fine. If the manager is involved or organizing it, that is simply not acceptable unless he's organizing something that is open to everyone on his team equally. I've worked places where there might be activities that could appeal more to one gender than another, but in all cases, anyone was able and welcome to join. For example, I've worked in lots of places that had golf groups and there were usually more men than women, but there was no one excluded due to gender.
Absolutely. Women should be just as welcome at strip clubs and Hooters as the male workers. And if the boss is female, male employees should be included at the day spa or tanning salon. What a happy bunch they all could be.
Hate to say it but what it sounds like to me is that everyone in that organization who has participated in any of this prior to this new manager coming onboard or afterward is very immature.
I would just look for another job and hope that the staff at your next workplace is more grown up. Just move on.
I wouldn't make a fuss about the whole thing or look for ways to prove some kind of harassment or discrimination (I would just get out). I do realize though that so many of the younger generation now have no regard for anyone but themselves (ironically at the same times as they view themselves as social justice warriors) - and that goes for women and men alike - so I am sure that someone is going to blow the whole thing up somehow.
Nice unnecessary dig at young people.
OP your course of action depends on the company's policy in regards to off work interaction and activities. Ultimately though it seems that you all were close group from the way you describe it and even though the activities take place off the clock the attitudes will show up on the clock.
So, what kind of man doesn't want women around unless they are for his exploitation, pleasure or entertainment? And I've been noticing this has been a growing trend lately.
I'm wondering what type of man wouldn't want a woman for "Pleasure or Entertainment"? I certainly wouldn't want to hang around a woman for displeasure or boredom!
He is at a minimum walking the line. Mangers should stay out of work oriented social excursions. They can attend (but it is better they don't). They should never be in charge. Yes - out of work activities organized by a manager CAN be attributed to the company.
These particular men seem a bit sleezy from what is described, but as to why many more average men like to have men only social time is because they want to fully relax, not worry about what they say or how they say it. They want to chug beer, and fart if they have gas. They want to be loud and silly and even rude in the joking way men are often rude to each other. Having women at such an event places all sorts of restrictions and propriety on anything said or done. A group of men who know each other well can say and do things that would be wholly inappropriate and improper in mixed company. So, maybe they just want to relax, let down their guard, forget about propriety, prudence and political correctness for a time. (However in this instance, it might be more nefarious than that).
They did all that with us around, we were that comfortable with eachother. We were more like a family, then friends. The new manager got transferred during the beginning of the summer. I've been hanging and being friends with my pals for about 3 years now. Normally, we would all pitch in, buy some beer, and then after the store closed, would go out to the cars in the parking lot and have the beers and chat about the job, life, or what events we might do over the weekend (movies, bowling, ball games, etc)
If it's nasty outside, then there is a bar right next door to the store, and we would go there, where we are all known by the bar managers and bar tenders ( often they would come to the store and chat with us) And on Thursdays, a new bar called Twin Peaks opened up nearby, and despite the breasturant being catered more to guys, I would tag along because the girls at the bar were more comfortable when I was around, and we would get great service and sometimes even get free stuff. Now, one time, the manager talked my buddies into going to Twin Peaks, and one of them texted me to come along since I am a favorite with the girls, and I went. When I got there, I can definitely tell the manager wasn't too pleased to see me there. I sat down, and one of the girls came with my beer that she already knew I wanted since I was a regular. I was just placing my order of food, when the manager all of a sudden blurted out "lets go to Cheetahs, I want a lap dance" I was like "I just ordered, can't we wait?" (I may not like strip clubs, but I have no problems going to them, and Cheetahs, I happen to know many of the bartenders and strippers there too) He was real quick to say "naw, you can stay here with your girlfriend (he was applying to the waitress who was talking to me and taking my order) and then he gulped his beer down and was like, "hurry up guys, I want to try and get a VIP room, and I'm sorry, guys only!" All of the guys except one left, reluctantly, and I was so hurt, I was about ready to cry. The one friend who stayed was really upset too, but he didn't care about going because he never cared about that manager, and he worked in a different department anyways.
But it's still upsetting me. I've done nothing to this man, and it's really hurting me that he's pretty much taking all my friends away, and they won't stand up to him. Now, while they are away, one friend would text me that he's sorry this happened, but he feels he has to kiss the new manager's butt in fear of his hours getting slashed. But why is this man so against women hanging out unless we are strippers or scantily clad waitresses?
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