Do you feel obligated to reciprocate if someone gives u aa holiday card or gift? (presents, person)
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Someone just texted me asking for my address so she can mail me a Christmas card.
As I replied & gave her my address, I thought maybe I should ask for her address as well & mail her a Christmas card too.
But then I thought, no, that'll just be way too obvious that I'm only sending her one because she's giving me one and I don't believe in giving cards or gifts because someone else gave me one first.
Do any of you feel the same way? To me, if I give a person a card or gift just because they gave me one, then that cheapens my gesture and almost turns it into into a form of payment.
When I give gifts, the thought of reciprocation never crosses my mind.
I feel this way as well.
Quote:
Do you feel obligated to reciprocate if someone gives u aa holiday card or gift?
Yes.
In other words, I don't give gifts with the thought of reciprocity, but I do think of reciprocating immediately when I'm given something and I didn't give something in return.
If I were to be given a Christmas gift right before Christmas, and it is totally unexpected, I would not feel the need to reciprocate that year. But I'd be asking myself next year whether I needed to buy that person a gift.
I do have a friend who freely gives gifts to me, and to others. Sometimes I give her things too, even though she professes not to want me to. In that case, I say, "You give gifts to me all the time. I can certainly give you a gift if I want to now." But we do not give special Christmas gifts to each other.
I had a friend who used to buy 3 or 4 generic types of gifts that you could give anyone, chocolates, wine, gift card.. and she would keep them by just in case she was surprised by someone giving her something. She'd wrap them all and just wait to fill in a name on the tag, lol.
My problem with this is that the phrase 'gift exchange' seems like an oxymoron. A gift is just that, something that is given freely with no price. But the world has gone mad with the commercialism of gift giving, and equality - something for everyone, that costs exactly the same amount.. and I know I have mentioned it before, but the prime example to me was when a friend's large extended family evolved from all giving expensive gifts, then putting names in a hat and drawing one, and then finally, all exchanging $50 bills. How sad is that? lol
When I give a gift, whether it be for a holiday or paying the bill or a thinking of you gift, I never expect the same gift. I expect friendship. I expect love. I expect immaterial things in exchange for my gifts.
To the specific question, presents, no I don't give back unless I intended to to begin with but planned on doing it last minute. Cards, yes, if someone gave me an early card, I would go and mail one asap, I have plenty cardstock. If I receive something on xmas day or later and didn't think of that person, then no I wouldn't reciprocate. Might include them next year though.
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