My sister has been giving me the silent treatment for a year - now it's Xmas. Help! (girlfriend, father)
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Don't go. Narcissists can dish it out, but HATE it when you give it back. From now on, think of it as you shunning her instead of the reverse. Pretty soon she'll miss having you to dump on and you'll get your revenge by not being present in her life.
Speaking of narcissists, it becomes sort of fun sometimes to work at not giving them what they want. My sister has a sister in law who is one. The SIL goes to bed at about 2 am, and gets up at about 2 pm. The sister in law wanted to come to Thanksgiving at my sisters, but "can't come until about 4:00." My sister said that dinner would be at 1:30, so she was sorry that the SIL would not be able to make it.
The SIL seriously thinks that everyone should run their life around her bizarre schedule.
I hope your mom stands firm. Don't let it become your fault because you didn't just 'take the high road' and apologize. Remind the rest of your family that continuing to indulge your sister in this way is doing nobody any favors, least of all her. There is still time for this to be nipped in the bud. She is young enough to re-learn how to behave.
The scorpio in me would have spent the year formulating a plan for her crazy behind. She wouldn't see me coming.
Any way, I would go. Make sure to show up after she does and acknowledge everyone except her. Even if she says hi, ignore her. I would stay for the entire dinner, deliberately engage with everyone except her. I wouldn't eat anything she brings and criticize it (all the while ignoring her). Stand your ground, remain calm and enjoy the time with your parents and most importantly keep smiling. No matter the circumstance, your #1 rule is to ALWAYS IGNORE HER even if you're parents makes reference to her..just ignore.
She needs a full dose of her own medicine and maybe then she'll change and your parents will stop enabling her.
Well I was supposed to go back to my parents house today but as I'm so mad at them for enabling her, chose not to. I spoke to my mom today re:enabling her and all she said was she knows how I feel. I think it's time I take some space from them all, at least up until Xmas and afterwards.
Also my best friend is a Scorpio and yes... best believe he has been cursing out my sister no end. Haha! In his words 'spoiled selfish narcissist who wants to be the centre of attention and the hero of the family'
Well I was supposed to go back to my parents house today but as I'm so mad at them for enabling her, chose not to. I spoke to my mom today re:enabling her and all she said was she knows how I feel. I think it's time I take some space from them all, at least up until Xmas and afterwards.
Also my best friend is a Scorpio and yes... best believe he has been cursing out my sister no end. Haha! In his words 'spoiled selfish narcissist who wants to be the centre of attention and the hero of the family'
tl:dr My sister tried to kick me out of my bed so she could sleep in it with her boyfriend, then she has been giving me the silent treatment for nearly a year because I stood up to her. Now it's Xmas and I have to spend time with her - how do I deal?
Quote:
I'm seriously considering skipping family Christmas altogether as I just don't want the drama. An
Objection: Asked and answered.
Don't be so sensitive. Your sister sucks. So does mine. Pretty little leech. Our sistes are no prize. Go do something you like.
I dont go to my family functions because OMG they are so corny. Id rather rather working, or by myself.
Your sister sounds like a wack-job. And while your parents are long past controlling you and your sister's behavior, they CAN demand civility in their own home. When your family is all together under your parent's roof, your parents should be demanding/expecting that everyone will behave civilly. If I was your mom, I'd have a pointed conversation with Sis that Christmas in my home was going to be a peaceful, fun family time and that I expected her to be civil and polite to EVERYONE in the house -- including you.
Otherwise, I sure wouldn't let a bratty sister ruin MY Christmas -- just go, be polite, and then ignore her if she isn't going to be a grown-up. However, if your parents insist on enabling her behavior and the entire holiday is just going to be "pick on Hannah for not bowing to Sister", then I think I'd find something to do that's more peaceful to the soul. If your parents object, gently remind them that your sister is still freezing you out, and you'd rather feed the homeless, visit sick kids in the hospital or watch old movies than walk on eggshells around her for the day.
Your sister sounds like a wack-job. And while your parents are long past controlling you and your sister's behavior, they CAN demand civility in their own home. When your family is all together under your parent's roof, your parents should be demanding/expecting that everyone will behave civilly. If I was your mom, I'd have a pointed conversation with Sis that Christmas in my home was going to be a peaceful, fun family time and that I expected her to be civil and polite to EVERYONE in the house -- including you.
Otherwise, I sure wouldn't let a bratty sister ruin MY Christmas -- just go, be polite, and then ignore her if she isn't going to be a grown-up. However, if your parents insist on enabling her behavior and the entire holiday is just going to be "pick on Hannah for not bowing to Sister", then I think I'd find something to do that's more peaceful to the soul. If your parents object, gently remind them that your sister is still freezing you out, and you'd rather feed the homeless, visit sick kids in the hospital or watch old movies than walk on eggshells around her for the day.
My mom is a very peaceful and sweet person and unfortunately when it comes to situations like this, she finds it difficult to stand up for what's right. She tried to speak to my sister this week about it and apparently my sister lost her sh##, went nuts at my mom and then said she and boyfriend are not coming to Christmas anymore. This led to my mom apologizing and begging her to reconsider.
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