Does anyone here really like those gift grab exchanges? (boyfriend, children, neighbors)
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I also enjoy white elephant exchanges, as long as everyone understands what they are. Both my daughter and I have attended WEE where one or more people brought serious, nice, expensive gifts to exchange not realizing the joke or silly theme.
A lot of people now do this with nice gifts on purpose. The one I just went to we had a $20 limit, but there were Starbucks gift cards, one of those furry blankets, nice gloves, etc. That's what made it stressful for me, because I got the furry blanket and I wanted it, lol. I had to reassure the person that brought it the next day that I actually did like it, because she said I looked like I didn't like it...I told her I had been refusing to get attached to it so I wouldn't get upset if I lost it. Plus, I didn't want to play it up because I was afraid that would make someone else want it. This is way too stressful for Christmas!
I also enjoy white elephant exchanges, as long as everyone understands what they are. Both my daughter and I have attended WEE where one or more people brought serious, nice, expensive gifts to exchange not realizing the joke or silly theme.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ocnjgirl
A lot of people now do this with nice gifts on purpose. The one I just went to we had a $20 limit, but there were Starbucks gift cards, one of those furry blankets, nice gloves, etc. That's what made it stressful for me, because I got the furry blanket and I wanted it, lol. I had to reassure the person that brought it the next day that I actually did like it, because she said I looked like I didn't like it...I told her I had been refusing to get attached to it so I wouldn't get upset if I lost it. Plus, I didn't want to play it up because I was afraid that would make someone else want it. This is way too stressful for Christmas!
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In the case of my daughter's White Elephant Exchange, it was the girlfriend of one of the invited guests and the poor girl was actually trying to hold back tears when she realized her mistake.
They were all poor college students and the gifts were all recycled, gag gifts or things that cost $1 or $2 at Goodwill or an item from a dollar store. My daughter suspected that the BF hadn't really explained to his GF what to expect and the girl probably spent $20 or $25 that she needed to buy food, or something like that on her gift (I can't remember what the gift was).
DD felt so badly about it that she went in her bedroom and got out a nice Christmas present that someone had given to her and "pretended" that it was supposed to go with the silly dollar store item that the girl got in the end.
Just to show you the difference of how people plan these events, at all of the White Elephant Exchanges that I have attended you were told NOT to bring something new, unless you were re-gifting it, and if they listed a maximum value it was always under $5. So, a Starbucks gift card or nice gloves would certainly NOT be an appropriate gift to bring, but an ugly, cheap looking figurine from the dollar store would be appropriate.
They think of others. Alcohol, even when given to a nonalcoholic, isn't a thoughtful gift.
For the very large majority of people it is. Hey, if you have a problem with alcohol, there are rather graceful ways to handle it rather than walking around all day being offended. It's just not that hard.
I'm genuinely surprised at how many people assume that everybody drinks. I drank as a college student but only as a social lubricant--I never liked the taste. I wouldn't be offended if I was given alcohol as a gift, just disappointed. I mean, I happen to like fruitcake but recognize that not everyone else does, so wouldn't give it as a present. To me, alcohol is in the same category.
I'm genuinely surprised at how many people assume that everybody drinks. I drank as a college student but only as a social lubricant--I never liked the taste. I wouldn't be offended if I was given alcohol as a gift, just disappointed. I mean, I happen to like fruitcake but recognize that not everyone else does, so wouldn't give it as a present. To me, alcohol is in the same category.
No one assumes that everyone drinks. My father had maybe 5 drinks a year but he always offered someone a drink when they came over. It is called hospitality. I have been to parties where the only person not drinking was the host. They did not seem disappointed when they received wine as a gift.
I'm nearly 60 and, over the course of my life post-college I can recall only a couple of times that I've ever been offered a drink when I've been to someone's house in a non-party situation. Tea, coffee, soda, or water, yes. Nobody has any idea whether or not I drink, so it's not that. And it's not like I travel in circles where alcohol is considered morally wrong (southern Baptist, for example). Maybe it's a cultural or geographic thing. Your normal is not my normal.
I agree that gift exchange guidelines need to be very clear. A few years ago we had a holiday party & gift exchange among the participants of a social group where I am a member (picture something like a book club with 40 or so members). We exchanged names and included a few ideas of possible gifts (as not everyone knew everyone else). They said that the gifts should be "approximately $20". Well, almost everyone else took the $20 limit as a suggestion to ignore. My present was in a huge gift basket and included everything that I had suggested and more! A box of fancy stationary, Christmas themed notecards & a decorative pen, an angel ornament, expensive chocolates, a hand knit scarf in my favorite colors and more! There was no way in heaven that was a $20 gift, even on deep, deep discount sale prices. Heck, I bet the basket alone originally sold for $20!
As I looked around the room it was very clear that almost everyone had spent far, far more than $20 on their exchange gifts. One person gave their secret Santa a stained glass piece that she made and usually sells for $100.
I searched for something nice that I thought my person would enjoy and found a very thoughtful, appropriate jewelry item that originally cost $25 on sale for $20 (approximately $20). I thought that she would be delighted, but it was pretty clear that she was a little disappointed. And, I felt really embarrassed.
It was the first time that I had attended a gift exchange with that group and I really wished that someone would have clued me in to the fact that most people "over spent" a great, great deal on their gift items.
So, sometimes it can be bad when people go over the limit, too.
When I was on a team at my job where the gift exchange was "mandatory", the person set it up as a "five below" theme. I took this to mean that the gifts were to cost five dollars or below. I got this guy's name and I knew absolutely nothing about him, but I did see that it looked like he collected Silly Putty eggs. So I got him some Silly Putty and some chocolate. Then I watched as everyone else exchanged their presents. Unbeknownst to me, there is this store in our area called Five Below, where you can get everything for $5 and under. I felt like an idiot because some of these people were coming away with stuff that at least looked more expensive than what I bought. The guy I bought for pulled my name and got me the crappiest looking Christmas tree ornament. I don't even put up a tree. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but it was awful.
Thank goodness on the team that I have now, the gift exchange is optional and only the ones that really want to participate, do. We didn't even have one this year. I would rather not be stressed out trying to buy something for someone I barely know. It is bad enough trying to buy something thoughtful for the people I do know well and hope they like it.
I'm nearly 60 and, over the course of my life post-college I can recall only a couple of times that I've ever been offered a drink when I've been to someone's house in a non-party situation. Tea, coffee, soda, or water, yes. Nobody has any idea whether or not I drink, so it's not that. And it's not like I travel in circles where alcohol is considered morally wrong (southern Baptist, for example). Maybe it's a cultural or geographic thing. Your normal is not my normal.
I agree. I'm in my middle 60s and except for parties or dinner parties I can only recall one situation where someone offered me an alcoholic drink during a social call or casual visit, and that was decades ago. I suspect that it was because the hostess was enjoying an after dinner drink when I arrived and did want to be rude and continue drinking in front of me without offering me a drink, too.
Oops, and then there is my relative who starts drinking wine about 11 AM. I am always offered wine at his house no matter what time it is.
I'm nearly 60 and, over the course of my life post-college I can recall only a couple of times that I've ever been offered a drink when I've been to someone's house in a non-party situation. Tea, coffee, soda, or water, yes. Nobody has any idea whether or not I drink, so it's not that. And it's not like I travel in circles where alcohol is considered morally wrong (southern Baptist, for example). Maybe it's a cultural or geographic thing. Your normal is not my normal.
Depends on the time of day. Walk into most people's homes during the late afternoon or evening, and you'll be offered a choice of drinks, from water and sodas to beer, wine, or a gin and tonic. Must be a cultural thing.
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