At dinners where the same people never help pay the bill

[germaine2626]

Originally Posted by germaine2626

I am very confused.

Why in the world is your husband's brother living in your aunt's house?

My husband's brother only met my aunts at our wedding and he certainly would not know that one of them have a vacant house they owned. How did your BIL even know about the vacant house?
And, why did your husband's brother think that it was "his right" to live with YOUR aunt for free?

Now that I think about it, my brothers only met my hubby's aunts at our wedding, too. I am not even sure that my brothers know/knew my husband's aunts names, and my brothers certainly would not know if any of my husband's aunts had a vacant house. And, NO ONE would expect to live in a vacant house of a complete stranger for free. Sheesh!

And, why can't your aunt just kick the man out if she is unhappy with the situation?

Heck, if someone was "squatting" in a house that I owned I would kick them out or legality evict them. Why isn't your aunt doing that?

None of this makes any sense at all.

Originally Posted by jencam

It makes sense to me. OP's family seems to be very nice and generous and the Aunt ended up knowing about BIL and this set-up was arranged.

I would be mad too if he didn't do what he is supposed to for her. Unfortunately it's hard to meddle. When it's the Aunt that needs to set the rules.

I let someone stay with me and it was weird and hard at first to boss him around but after a while I was like hey - I'm not giving up part of my space for no reason. If you don't want to do what you are supposed to, then you can leave.

Sounds like the Aunt doesn't want to be that way. It is hard for nice people who do right and expect that others will as well. It's an extra burden for her that he puts her in that position. To be stern with him when he should just be doing it on his own.

I would have flipped on him walking past that yard work or whatever. I would have been like you need to come over here and help me with this. Period.

Oh come on. I have known my brother's wife and her family for 50 years. While it is not the same as moving in with a complete stranger, I still can not imagine thinking that I am close enough with my SIL's aunt that I would move into a house that she owns, pay no rent and not follow through with my promised work. Yes, I think that is crazy.

And, as I mentioned the only time that my aunts ever met my husband's family was at our wedding. Meeting someone one time does not give someone the expectation that they can move into your vacant house rent free and live there indefinitely, no matter how "nice" they are.

How did the OP's aunt even know that the OP's BIL needed a place to live? How did the OP's BIL know that the OP's aunt had a vacant house? Obviously, the OP set this disaster up and now she is refusing to get involved. If I was her aunt I would be livid. But, if I was her aunt I probably would not have let a virtual stranger move into my vacant house.

Jencam, I am sure that you are very nice, but would YOU let someone who you did not know move into your home, rent free, indefinitely even if they were indirectly related by marriage?

[jencam]

Originally Posted by germaine2626

Oh come on. I have known my brother's wife and her family for 50 years. While it is not the same as moving in with a complete stranger, I still can not imagine thinking that I am close enough with my SIL's aunt that I would move into a house that she owns, pay no rent and not follow through with my promised work. Yes, I think that is crazy.

And, as I mentioned the only time that my aunts ever met my husband's family was at our wedding. Meeting someone one time does not give someone the expectation that they can move into your vacant house rent free and live there indefinitely, no matter how "nice" they are.

How did the OP's aunt even know that the OP's BIL needed a place to live? How did the OP's BIL know that the OP's aunt had a vacant house? Obviously, the OP set this disaster up and now she is refusing to get involved. If I was her aunt I would be livid. But, if I was her aunt I probably would not have let a virtual stranger move into my vacant house.

Jencam, I am sure that you are very nice, but would YOU let someone who you did not know move into your home, rent free, indefinitely even if they were indirectly related by marriage?

That's hard to answer because it's relating to the OP's family and her hubby's family and IDK how well they do or do not know each other.

The way I understand it is he's supposed to help out in exchange for staying there and yes I probably would because if I had a need for help and I could get that in trade for space - people do that all the time with strangers. Rent out rooms for rent or work in trade. Like yard work and home maintenance. Handy mans are expensive to call for everything if one is not a DIY. I would be upset if the border didn't DO the work hired for. Or rather in trade for the room.

[fluffythewondercat]

Originally Posted by jencam

Again, there is nothing to thank YOU for. The Aunt, yes, but that is between them. It's up to her to enforce that he help like he is supposed to.

It's kind of hard to tell, actually.

Near the beginning of this thread, the OP said that when lazy BIL didn't show up for work one day, the office manager called HER.

Now, how would he know to do that unless the OP's husband has decided they're in charge of lazy BIL? And lazy BIL gives out their home phone?

Whose idea was it to approach the aunt and ask if lazy BIL could live in her vacant apartment? IIRC, this is a relatively recent development.