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I'm talking about moral support.
We've been friends for 15 years, always been a good relationship. Beginning of January he went into a deep funk.
He's been in a funk before and I've been supportive throughout. And he has done same for me.
This time it's been a month, 5 weeks...
and I've almost had it.
At the beginning he said, that just to hear from me helped. So I would call or email every couple of days - how are you?, a little about what I'm up to.
the response was always the same, he's not doing too good, he's going to see his therapist, he's going to see his psychiatrist.
never a question - how am I? what am I up to?
I've been in severe depressions in my life. I will pull myself up, go for a walk, call someone, talk to someone.
This guy has absented himself from me.
And while I recognize it is his choice -- not for me to tell him how to cope with his feelings,
but then it is my choice to say - there is a limit...
I told his sister (they talk every day/ or a few times a day), that for me to continue in this one-sided situation I'd have to be a relative, a lover, or a saint--
and I am none of these.
Personally, I don't think a friendly email perhaps once a week is all that demanding. I have no intention of being a free psychiatrist, but I don't walk away from friends or family because they are sick.
15 year friendship with some one who has had your back during your own bad times is not a casual acquaintance.
Unfortunately, you can't fix him, but it sure isn't going to be a big help if you turn your back on him. Do the chit-chat email once a week, it won't kill you.
Personally, I don't think a friendly email perhaps once a week is all that demanding. I have no intention of being a free psychiatrist, but I don't walk away from friends or family because they are sick.
15 year friendship with some one who has had your back during your own bad times is not a casual acquaintance.
Unfortunately, you can't fix him, but it sure isn't going to be a big help if you turn your back on him. Do the chit-chat email once a week, it won't kill you.
I'm talking about moral support.
We've been friends for 15 years, always been a good relationship. Beginning of January he went into a deep funk.
He's been in a funk before and I've been supportive throughout. And he has done same for me.
This time it's been a month, 5 weeks...
and I've almost had it.
At the beginning he said, that just to hear from me helped. So I would call or email every couple of days - how are you?, a little about what I'm up to.
the response was always the same, he's not doing too good, he's going to see his therapist, he's going to see his psychiatrist.
never a question - how am I? what am I up to?
I've been in severe depressions in my life. I will pull myself up, go for a walk, call someone, talk to someone.
This guy has absented himself from me.
And while I recognize it is his choice -- not for me to tell him how to cope with his feelings,
but then it is my choice to say - there is a limit...
I told his sister (they talk every day/ or a few times a day), that for me to continue in this one-sided situation I'd have to be a relative, a lover, or a saint--
and I am none of these.
so .. any thoughts?
er.
Wow, you're really knocking yourself out aren't you?
Sending an email every couple of days.
It's not like this has been going on for years. Good thing he doesn't need someone to come over because he had knee surgery and needs someone to bring him meals.
If you guys have been good friends for 15 years, I'd stick with him through this rough period that he's going through right now. You never know but your support could be what's "keeping his head above the water" so to speak.
I'm talking about moral support.
We've been friends for 15 years, always been a good relationship. Beginning of January he went into a deep funk.
He's been in a funk before and I've been supportive throughout. And he has done same for me.
This time it's been a month, 5 weeks...
and I've almost had it.
At the beginning he said, that just to hear from me helped. So I would call or email every couple of days - how are you?, a little about what I'm up to.
the response was always the same, he's not doing too good, he's going to see his therapist, he's going to see his psychiatrist.
never a question - how am I? what am I up to?
I've been in severe depressions in my life. I will pull myself up, go for a walk, call someone, talk to someone.
This guy has absented himself from me.
And while I recognize it is his choice -- not for me to tell him how to cope with his feelings,
but then it is my choice to say - there is a limit...
I told his sister (they talk every day/ or a few times a day), that for me to continue in this one-sided situation I'd have to be a relative, a lover, or a saint--
and I am none of these.
so .. any thoughts?
er.
When a person is severely depressed it is hard to focus on anything other than themselves and the emotional pain they are feeling at the time. That you are able to "pull yourself up, go for a walk, call someone, etc." is admirable but I don't know many people, including myself who can force myself to not feel depressed. When I'm going through a bad time, I do not want to talk to anybody.The problem is too many people look at depression as something you can will yourself out of which is entirely untrue. If he said hearing from you helps send him a text or an email every day and just say "hey, just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about your or praying for you" or whatever.
Please try to be patient with your friend and understand that he is not deliberating dissing you by not asking how YOU are.
Does he live in the same town as you? If so, if you could get him to take a walk with you, that would be good. Sometimes exercise helps depression a bit.
I think you are expecting too much of him for him to be interested in talking about you when he is so down.
Wow, you're really knocking yourself out aren't you?......
I'm going to cut OP a bit of slack. It is very difficult to be around a person who is in a black mood. I just don't think this is the time to walk away from a very long friendship, and a couple of emails are not much price to pay.
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