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Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 8 days ago)
35,631 posts, read 17,968,125 times
Reputation: 50655
Quote:
Originally Posted by purehuman
If the spouse is invited then YES...they do.
No, they don't. (We could go on like this for a number of posts, but I prefer not to. No one has a 'right' to attend someone else's catered event, regardless of whoever else was invited)
Your husband may think it's better to not offend his family even though they are the ones in the wrong, but I can guarantee you're not going to forget about this, especially because you've been wronged twice in this (by the relative who was rude to not invite you and your husband who chose them over you). Bad decision on his part.
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 8 days ago)
35,631 posts, read 17,968,125 times
Reputation: 50655
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lbjen
Your husband may think it's better to not offend his family even though they are the ones in the wrong, but I can guarantee you're not going to forget about this, especially because you've been wronged twice in this (by the relative who was rude to not invite you and your husband who chose them over you). Bad decision on his part.
I agree completely. Slights like this fester, and are NOT forgotten.
I wish the OP would come back and post an update on how she's doing.
If your husband is considered an important part of his "old" family, and they were not considerate enough to invite "Mr. and Mrs.", or at least "and a guest" , it is in poor taste. the husband is close to his family, and should ask the relative what is up.
Chances could be that some one else has generated the list, did not think to ask how many, could be the bridesmaid, s/o parents, or even the bride herself, breezing through a list. You guys have been married for years, and his "old" family needs to get it together. Both of you should have been shown a little simple respect.
If it was not a typo, none of you should go, f that! Big weddings are done to celebrate, and get some envelopes, really. I don't really like going to weddings, for a number of reasons, but that new couple just made a big rookie mistake.
people make the event too formal of an occasion. Unless you are an observant religious follower, what is the point of the church? And that grand ball, with a bridal party, all to spend money, put on a show. whatever happened to the weddings of the past? you know, everyone is invited personally, at the last family gathering, like on Christmas/thanksgiving? you learn what is happening with everyone. the invite that says simply "I want you and your family" to attend.
Welllll, as much I am 100% in the OP's camp, this is way too broad of a generalization. Fact of the matter is, no, no one who isn't invited to an invitation-only event is entitled to go. The spouse is free to decline the invitation, but it's not their "right" to bring along their uninvited spouse.
Pretty sure the etiquette rule "don't show up with uninvited guests" trumps the etiquette rule "spouses are always invited as a couple"
Your husband may think it's better to not offend his family even though they are the ones in the wrong, but I can guarantee you're not going to forget about this, especially because you've been wronged twice in this (by the relative who was rude to not invite you and your husband who chose them over you). Bad decision on his part.
Agree with this ^^^. It sounds like the husband is just shrugging off the exclusion of his wife but is still going to enjoy the wedding himself.
Mistakes and mix-ups can happen. The cousin could be contacted through text or email and be asked if his wife was invited or not, with the premise it may have been an unfortunate mix-up. A written question would give the groom the chance to check out the situation before responding.
A phone call can lead to a more awkward situation as the groom may be defensive. Give time for the groom to rectify the situation if he chooses to do so.
If the wife is really excluded and the husband still goes, it would be a sign of complete disrespect to me. Seriously, putting a cousin's feelings before your spouse? Completely unacceptable to many spouses of any gender.
If the wife is excluded, I like the response another poster mentioned that you and your wife had other plans that weekend but wished the happy couple well. But it seems like hubby doesn't even want to check it out and chooses to go solo. Personally he wouldn't be my husband for much longer as I would never consider treating him like that.
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