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I'm a little flabbergasted at someone who would say, "Yeah, you helped me -- so what?" Entitled, much? Helping someone move is a big deal, in my book. If they don't feel any sense of reciprocity or obligation for the favor, there's not much you can do -- but I'd be a little careful about future "favors" for this "friend."
When I asked her to drive me to the airport it basically to save money on parking. Which is $16 a day. It was a month long trip so the parking would be $480.00. I lived at the time about 60 miles from the airport so a taxi would have been very expensive. Actually, the lady who would not drive us to the airport, which was 3 miles from her house, was a family friend and my wife was closest to her at the time. My wife was very upset at her.
It was not a case of scheduling, the friend was free. She just did not want to do it.
I agree friendship should not be a formal tit for tat arrangement. But if we can't exchange help on occasion, it is not much of a friendship in my opinion. Though most people who have replied so far don't agree.
It is a lot of work to move people's furniture. That is why when most people want help moving, most friends run for cover and say they are busy.
So one time I was excited about having a new friend and when she asked for help moving things I was not too busy and spent my afternoon helping with the move.
I always thought that one aspect of friendship was: " I help you with something, and then you help me later" Life has told me through the years that most people don't think that way. I do them a big favor and then when I need help, they are usually too busy to help me. When I complain, they say my philosophy of: "I help you with something, and then you help me" does not make sense. They say "I don't owe you anything. You helped me, that was nice, but it should not be a tit for tat arrangement."
A common reply should be, "well find new and better friends." But most new friends seem to agree with the lady who I helped move but would not help me out when I needed her. Thoughts?
I do agree that a friend is someone you should be able to ask for help on occasion. However, you have not provided enough details to determine if you were wronged.
Personally, if it would greatly inconvenience a friend and I had other options, I would not expect a ride to the airport.
When I asked her to drive me to the airport it basically to save money on parking. Which is $16 a day. It was a month long trip so the parking would be $480.00. I lived at the time about 60 miles from the airport so a taxi would have been very expensive. Actually, the lady who would not drive us to the airport, which was 3 miles from her house, was a family friend and my wife was closest to her at the time. My wife was very upset at her.
It was not a case of scheduling, the friend was free. She just did not want to do it.
I agree friendship should not be a formal tit for tat arrangement. But if we can't exchange help on occasion, it is not much of a friendship in my opinion. Though most people who have replied so far don't agree.
And apparently you were expecting her to store your car for a month?
In your previous thread, you stated she lived 20 miles from the airport and your trip was two weeks long. Which is it, OP?
My thoughts are, I would stop helping people move. The favor is rarely returned, if ever.
I knew someone who moved every six months, and had so much stuff that it took her a month to move out completely. She enlisted everyone she knew to help. This was an ongoing part of her life, she couldn't stay in one house very long. She never took anyone out to dinner to thank them, or offered to compensate them for their time. We'd be at her home for hours boxing things up and carrying them down stairs. The last straw for me was, she asked me to help her again the day after my mother's funeral. I decided to just get rid of her altogether, she didn't care that I'd lost a parent and it was just all about her and what she wanted. I haven't spoken to her since. Last I heard, she's still moving around, all over the city, and can't stay in one place.
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