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Female friend. I've mentioned her before.
Last week, she met some guy, started flirting with him. No offense meant here, but the guy was a foreigner, here on a visa. Didn't know him a full hour, got in his car, went somewhere - presumably an after hours place we both know. Ok.
Anyway, habitually picks up/talks to various strange guys. Last week, bunch of bikers came into the bar (biker gang, had the jackets, tats, you name it). Invited them to the after hours joint. This place clearly has signs: NO BIKER GANGS/COLORS ALLOWED! She calls the after hours place - manager says NO. Rules are rules. She never even Met, let alone knew these guys prior to their coming in.
Does this habitually. Anyway, her own friends (including myself) have told her about her habit.
Another friend of mine suggested to me: Listen, the way she's going, she might end up found in an alley, behind a dumpster, or in the trunk of some car if she doesn't cool it. Also, she dresses very provocatively - short skirts, low-cut blouses showing cleavage....and flirting with strange guys, giving out her phone number, etc. And sometimes leaving with them. I know for a fact that she's not going home with them, but teasing...
Anyway, I know her kids very well, and they like me. My friend suggested I tell her (grown) kids, "Look, your mom's playing fast-and-loose with a bunch of strange guys. I've warned her, but she won't listen. My biggest fear is that I get a call she's been found..." you can fill in the blanks. I just think she's playing Russian Roulette, but just doesn't care.
So, do I tell her kids, and risk her ending our friendship? Or do I just MYOB, and let things play out?
I'm not sure what you mean, but if I'm following you correctly, the friend who suggested I say something, does not know the other person.
Oh, I'm sorry, I was thinking it was a mutual friend.
Honestly, I'd let it run its course. Your worst fear may never come to reality. But if she doesn't care enough now to change behavior after hearing from her friends... Are you hoping the kids would set up an intervention? It would have to be something that the kids see for themselves, instead relying on what other people said.
If she's old enough to have adult children, she must have more common sense than you think she has. Also, if she's hanging out in a bar all the time, she's probably either an alcoholic or looking for short-term company.
I assume you've discussed this with her?
Unfortunately, she's old enough to decide for herself whether or not she wants to indulge in this kind of risky behavior.
If she dresses like that and hangs around bars all hours of the , her kids probably are already aware of her lifestyle.
".......And sometimes leaving with them. I know for a fact that she's not going home with them, but teasing"
She's an adult, you're an adult; sit down and have an adult conversation.
I can appreciate your concern, but she's a grown adult who can make her own decisions (stupid as they may be) and there's nothing YOU or her CHILDREN can do about it.
Maybe it's time you distant yourself from this 'friend' and let her carry on with her life.
Female friend. I've mentioned her before.
Last week, she met some guy, started flirting with him. No offense meant here, but the guy was a foreigner, here on a visa. Didn't know him a full hour, got in his car, went somewhere - presumably an after hours place we both know. Ok.
Anyway, habitually picks up/talks to various strange guys. Last week, bunch of bikers came into the bar (biker gang, had the jackets, tats, you name it). Invited them to the after hours joint. This place clearly has signs: NO BIKER GANGS/COLORS ALLOWED! She calls the after hours place - manager says NO. Rules are rules. She never even Met, let alone knew these guys prior to their coming in.
Does this habitually. Anyway, her own friends (including myself) have told her about her habit.
Another friend of mine suggested to me: Listen, the way she's going, she might end up found in an alley, behind a dumpster, or in the trunk of some car if she doesn't cool it. Also, she dresses very provocatively - short skirts, low-cut blouses showing cleavage....and flirting with strange guys, giving out her phone number, etc. And sometimes leaving with them. I know for a fact that she's not going home with them, but teasing...
Anyway, I know her kids very well, and they like me. My friend suggested I tell her (grown) kids, "Look, your mom's playing fast-and-loose with a bunch of strange guys. I've warned her, but she won't listen. My biggest fear is that I get a call she's been found..." you can fill in the blanks. I just think she's playing Russian Roulette, but just doesn't care.
So, do I tell her kids, and risk her ending our friendship? Or do I just MYOB, and let things play out?
What our actions say speak louder than anything we can gossip about other people.
The onus is not on her children to correct her behavior.
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