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What you should have done is after your talk, just shrugged your shoulders and said "OK" and than just do the slow fade. If you really were done with her, but you don't want that.
You make a scene and leave with a dramatic exit, and you wonder why she is texting you?
What you should have done is after your talk, just shrugged your shoulders and said "OK" and than just do the slow fade. If you really were done with her, but you don't want that.
You make a scene and leave with a dramatic exit, and you wonder why she is texting you?
You enjoy this.
What the hell did I just say? I said that I wasn't going through the **** anymore and left! What drama? What's done is done
I don't have time or patience for the "I don't want you, but I don't anyone else to have you" crapola.
What the hell did I just say? I said that I wasn't going through the **** anymore and left! What drama? What's done is done
I don't have time or patience for the "I don't want you, but I don't anyone else to have you" crapola.
On to the next chapter!
That's what kills me about this--you know she's full of crap. I sincerely hope you avoid her, but expect her to pull the 'let me make him jealous' routine since I'm sure you'll both be at the same venues ignoring one another (once she realizes you're truly done, I doubt she's fully accepted it at this point). She's going to put on quite an act, especially if she sees you enjoying time with one of those other women she doesn't want to have you.
You and her other concerned friends could sit her down and talk to her. But, I would not contact her kids, imagine how you or anyone would feel about that.
I see you write about situations like this often. Personally, I think involving yourself with people like this is almost an addiction in itself. Having read multiple threads that you've started, and some of them involve some real difficult interpersonal scenarios......I'd say perhaps you should also look into spending time differently then at bars, or at least at bars with friends who are likely to put you into compromising situations like this friend does.
Back in the day, I would go to bars with girl friends, and a couple of times with co-workers that had bugged me to go with them for ages. I am not a bar drinker, I have colas. Well, for these various friends this was an issue.....it ruined my whole evening having to continuously tell them no thanks....I'm good with a cola, while they got not sloppy drunk but happy drunk. I decided it was not fun hanging out with this group, and I certainly wasn't lonely or desperate for company to continue going out with them, because I felt harassed about not drinking.
My obvious point being.....Perhaps it is time for you to assess what you are gaining hanging out in situations that are at the least a source of drama. And at the other end of the spectrum, your friend could even be putting you in some danger because you're checking on her while she is interacting with these random strange men could eventually get you confronted by one of these guys. It cannot be fun out when you are obviously more focused on her risky behaviors then on your own evenings enjoyment. It sounds more like babysitting.
You'll have to decide if you need company enough to even out the conflict it is causing you regarding worrying, and emotionally. Ask yourself what you are gaining by maintaining this activity with this friend......and also ask yourself what you are losing if you change activities and/or friends.
You can really enjoy a person, but when the cost emotionally or otherwise becomes too much it is time to change the situation. And, as you know, you can only change yourself. You may also want to research co-dependency. Good luck and keep us posted.
ETA Revisited further into your thread and it seems that you have done some searching and changing this friendship...Good for you. Hope some of my suggestions help.
What the hell did I just say? I said that I wasn't going through the **** anymore and left! What drama? What's done is done
I don't have time or patience for the "I don't want you, but I don't anyone else to have you" crapola.
On to the next chapter!
Sigh.....you left in a huff. I said when you decide to cut ties, you just say "OK", nod your head and smile as your talk didn't get the reaction you wanted, and you just distance yourself. You're busy the next time she wants to get together.
The way you did it, she reacted, and you act suprised.
Which leads me to believe based on this post and your others you enjoy drama.
Look, that's your choice. I personally don't get it. But don't act all surprised when you make a dramatic exit and leave in a huff, that the person isn't going to contact you and ask you what the hell happened.
I wanted to add. Your presence.... at have been enabling her behaviors. It is far less risky if you know you have someone in your hip pocket who is at least attempting to run interference. The sooner you get out of the way the better. She may, if I am correct.....think about her risky behaviors more appropriately if she doesn't have her knight there. Something to think about.
And, the opposite of love is indifference. You should strive towards indifference.
Pretty much. And FYI, it doesn't feel good, but it is what it is.
Wait. Guys have feelings?
Feelings have nothing to do with the issue. This is about judgment.
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