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Female friend. I've mentioned her before.
Last week, she met some guy, started flirting with him. No offense meant here, but the guy was a foreigner, here on a visa. Didn't know him a full hour, got in his car, went somewhere - presumably an after hours place we both know. Ok.
Anyway, habitually picks up/talks to various strange guys. Last week, bunch of bikers came into the bar (biker gang, had the jackets, tats, you name it). Invited them to the after hours joint. This place clearly has signs: NO BIKER GANGS/COLORS ALLOWED! She calls the after hours place - manager says NO. Rules are rules. She never even Met, let alone knew these guys prior to their coming in.
Does this habitually. Anyway, her own friends (including myself) have told her about her habit.
Another friend of mine suggested to me: Listen, the way she's going, she might end up found in an alley, behind a dumpster, or in the trunk of some car if she doesn't cool it. Also, she dresses very provocatively - short skirts, low-cut blouses showing cleavage....and flirting with strange guys, giving out her phone number, etc. And sometimes leaving with them. I know for a fact that she's not going home with them, but teasing...
Anyway, I know her kids very well, and they like me. My friend suggested I tell her (grown) kids, "Look, your mom's playing fast-and-loose with a bunch of strange guys. I've warned her, but she won't listen. My biggest fear is that I get a call she's been found..." you can fill in the blanks. I just think she's playing Russian Roulette, but just doesn't care.
So, do I tell her kids, and risk her ending our friendship? Or do I just MYOB, and let things play out?
What on earth would you involve her kids for?? IMO, this is a mind your own business situation. She's an adult.
This is a person who isn't making wise decisions at an age where she should know better. I'm thinking that, perhaps, I'd not get entangled in this drama.
Or me, or anyone else for that matter. You're absolutely right. I'm just a little scared for her, but she's a grown woman.
As others said MYOB.
How long and how well do you know this woman? I ask because you have a lot of posts about getting out and meeting new people, and too many people these days throw the word "friend" around when the truth is they're acquaintances.
Which is what this sounds like, distance yourself, she didn't become this way overnight. That's who she is and it's her life.
Is this the same friend who got drunk and was going to get in a car with a stranger so you gave everyone a ride and then were mad because you'd given the stranger a ride too?
If so, just leave her alone already. She's an alcoholic who likes to have sex with strangers and otherwise engage in risky behavior. You're not going to fix her or save her. Worry about yourself and stop making yourself responsible for her.
I would have a talk with her as a concerned friend.
I had a friend like that, I had the talk and she didn't change and I ended the friendship. I felt disgusted even looking at her, knowing she just had nasty weird sex with strange guys the night before. Not the kind of people I wanna hang around with.
Leave the offspring out of it. You would not want to tell a womans adult children "Hey, your mom is acting like a loose goose " you could end up getting into an altercation.
If your friend acts this way, against your values, find new friends. Very easy. I have had friends who sold hard drugs, or had many baby moms, against my values as a person. Cant do anything about it, but not associate with them.
She sounds like a heavy drinker/alcoholic who gets drunk and does stupid things. If she has grown children, she's old enough to know better, but she engages in risky behavior anyhow. Her children are probably already aware of the fact that she's a partier. I wouldn't get enmeshed in this by involving her children. I once had a friend who did the same sort of thing. When sober, she was a wonderful, intelligent young woman. When drinking, it was like somebody had flipped a switch. Her eyes went flat and she came on to every guy in the bar - she became a completely different person. I tried talking to her, but it did no good and we eventually drifted apart. I suggest you find other, more reasonable friends to hang out with.
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