Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I've never understood why people say it's selfish not to have kids?
If you've searched your soul and don't feel parenting is the right choice for you, isn't that less selfish than having kids for the sake of having them and then resenting the time, energy and financial drain they take on your lifestyle? It's such an ass-backwards argument to me.
people who say it's selfish to not have kids are the same people who are miserable because they have kids, at least in my opinion. they are just jealous of the freedom that the childfree people have.
I just hit 35, no plans for kids. My financial situation is such that I can probably retire in the next 5 years (probably won't, medical expenses in retirement are a big ??? plus I like to keep busy). Having kids would derail that.
Not all that interested in dating anymore either, although I do have opportunities. It would have to be someone I'm really interested in from the start plus she'd have to not want to have kids for me to seriously consider it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bell235
people who say it's selfish to not have kids are the same people who are miserable because they have kids, at least in my opinion. they are just jealous of the freedom that the childfree people have.
Generally I think people that try to pressure you into having kids or getting married are not really happy with their own situation. Misery loves company sort of deal.
For some reason, other guys seem to feel the need to disclose things to me, even though I might not be super close with them?
For kids, I always get the - "I really love my kids, but (complains how tough it is with kids)."
In regards to marriage, it's usually something to the effect of "don't get married".
It also scares me because of how many kids are being born with issues. If a kid isn't autistic these days, he's ADHD or allergic to everything except chalk dust. Raising a kid is just so much more work and complication than it was thirty years ago.
A lot of those complications arise because people have kids later these days. The chances of developing issues rises immensely when having kids in your 30s or later. Previous generations were having kids in the teens or early 20s.
I've never understood why people say it's selfish not to have kids?
If you've searched your soul and don't feel parenting is the right choice for you, isn't that less selfish than having kids for the sake of having them and then resenting the time, energy and financial drain they take on your lifestyle? It's such an ass-backwards argument to me.
I think it's more selfish to have kids. There's no way that you can say you're having kids for the child's benefit. By bringing a human into this world, you're subjecting him/her to many awful things no matter how great of a parent you think you'll be. I don't fault people for having kids because I know love makes people do crazy things and so many people are afraid of being alone that they'll bring innocent children into a horrible world just to benefit themselves.
I just hit 35, no plans for kids. My financial situation is such that I can probably retire in the next 5 years (probably won't, medical expenses in retirement are a big ??? plus I like to keep busy). Having kids would derail that.
Not all that interested in dating anymore either, although I do have opportunities. It would have to be someone I'm really interested in from the start plus she'd have to not want to have kids for me to seriously consider it.
Generally I think people that try to pressure you into having kids or getting married are not really happy with their own situation. Misery loves company sort of deal.
For some reason, other guys seem to feel the need to disclose things to me, even though I might not be super close with them?
For kids, I always get the - "I really love my kids, but (complains how tough it is with kids)."
In regards to marriage, it's usually something to the effect of "don't get married".
Yup, agreed. Guys are probably a lot more candid than women as well. I also hear women complaining about their kids but then they say they're joking. lol, it's so uncomfortable to hear because i feel like deep down they're not joking.
It took me a while to figure out that I didn't want kids. It was always this vague, sort of blurry, in-the-future-but-I-don't-have-to-think-about-that-right-now concept. Anytime I sat down and gave it any serious thought, it actually filled me with dread and panic.
That is how I feel!
I just always thought the day would come where I would go one way or the other, but it hasn't.
To be fair, many issues in life are just cloudy for me. But this, unlike many of those, is a big one.
Thanks for the responses. I'm not married, but I'm not single either. And I should decide soon.
A lot of those complications arise because people have kids later these days. The chances of developing issues rises immensely when having kids in your 30s or later. Previous generations were having kids in the teens or early 20s.
Very true. My 92 year-old grandmother was married with her first kid at 20. Nowadays most people don't even think about marriage until their early 30s. I think there's pros and cons to both ways of doing things.
I dont understand why it's selfish to NOT have kids either. If anything it's the people having 4 or 5 kids who seem selfish to me. The world is overpopulated and doesnt need you having that many kids. But no one cares about that...of course they aren't contributing to overpopulation with their 4 or 5 rugrats.
people who say it's selfish to not have kids are the same people who are miserable because they have kids, at least in my opinion. they are just jealous of the freedom that the childfree people have.
I agree completely. I am in my 50's and never had children. I never wanted them and never regretted not having them. Nearly everyone I know you has had kids do little else but complain about how expensive they are and many seem miserable. Having kids is NOT for everyone!
I always wanted kids and have a 1yr old and 3 yr old. It is hard! I have no time to myself because I also work. I dont think it will get any easier even if they need me less because I'll just be worried about what they are or are not doing. I always wanted kids though. If i didnt have them is probably always wish I did...and if course I donr regret having them but it is harder than I thought...i also had them pretty close together although 22 months seems pretty common. I dont know how people have 3 or 4 who are 2 years apart.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
