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What do you care who knows what about you? What type of front are you trying to project and why? Really, who cares? People have shared lots worse things with family and friends than being unemployed and living at home. People who put up a front are never happy. Let it all out and be a human being. Enjoy your life.
IMHO there is a huge difference between someone telling their friends and close family that they lost their job and moved back home and that person's parents telling their neighbors, extended family and probably even strangers every tiny detail of their adult daughter's life and financial situation.
I bet that the OP probably did tell her friends what happened so she was not "putting up a false front" but does her sister-in-law's mother really need to be privy to every tiny detail? Sheesh.
You are telling her to "let it all out". So, you would be OK if your parents told everyone that they know personal details about your life such as your financial set-backs, your marital problems, your medical conditions, etc.? After all you wouldn't want to "put up a front" about your erectile dysfunction with your parent's butcher, your parent's car dealer or their neighbor from two streets away.
Last edited by germaine2626; 11-03-2017 at 05:15 PM..
Your family members should get their own life, rather than just gossiping about your life all the time. Ask them why they don't have anything else to talk about. Perhaps they should consider taking up a hobby. Stamp collecting. Bird watching. Anything.
You need a job. it isn't necessarily a bad thing that others know that. You never know where an opportunity will come from.
Give a copy of your resume to anyone who asks why you are living at home again.
I forgot to mention that when my parents and I were having the discussion this morning, I told them I preferred living in the town that I had relocated to, with a woman and her cat, especially the cat because all she demanded was to be fed while I could pet her and she wouldn't gossip to others about me. It's true, I'd rather live with a stranger that I get to know over time and their pet(s) than my own parents.
I think most adults feel this way. That is why a lot of single people live with roommates to share the cost of living instead of staying home with mom and dad.
<>(dad is afraid the leasing company will cause him problems if the suggested maintenance schedule in the owner's manual isn't followed closely once it's time to return the car at the end of the term)<>
Here's a free tip to your (maybe not so paranoid) dad about the leased car. The dealer he leased from does not own the car. Check the papers and he will discover there is a third party to the agreement that actually will claim the car when he returns it to the dealer.
I'm sure he is the careful sort who will have someone from the dealer service department inspect the car with him to be sure it is in perfect condition. Mysteriously, sometime between that inspection (which will not be documented at all) and the time the real owner receives it, damage will happen that will be blamed on your dad to the tune of several hundred dollars.
The defense is to make sure a rep of the real owner is present and is identified and signs the inspection report (there is an official form).
Search the Automotive forum for details.
"How do I know? I Just Do."
As for the other problem, lead your life as if no one (from the nosey side of your family) is watching.
Are they hiring?
Are they paying bills?
Are they encouraging you?
No?
Then bugger off people.
Too paranoid. If you didn't want people to find out then you shouldn't have gone back home. Three months is long time to hide what your circumstances are. You are living with parents and driving their car. I would suggest you lighten up.
This story reminds me of my dad trying to keep the world out of his yard. He sets out squirrel traps, trap after trap, and takes the squirrels out somewhere and drops them off. Then sets more traps...because of course, you can't get rid of squirrels. He tries to keep cats out of his yard, bugs, you name it. But they keep encroaching on his yard because (drum roll here)....his yard is part of the world.
You are part of a family. They are going to know about you, and you about them. There is no stopping that. To try is to be a bit anti-social and untrusting. They are family. What you call nosy is what someone calls catching up on things...how's so and so doing?
You can try and try all your life. If you continue to keep people away from your "business," you will end up alone and lonely. No one will know you or know anything about you.
We all have bad things that happen to us. The members of your family have, too.
When someone asks your parents, "How's Janet?" do you think they should just respond, "Okay." "What's she up to these days?" Your parents: "Oh, nothing." Or.."She told us not to tell you because you're nosy."
Don't worry what people think, esp. family. They will be all the more proud when you do well, knowing your prior struggles.
Mom came home and I asked if she spread the news of me losing my job (against my wishes).
.
Well you are kind of feeding into it by bringing it up and inviting conversation. On the other hand what do you expect your mother to say when friends and relatives ask after you, not because they are nosy but because they care?
I'd say if you want to that private and worry SO much what others know then MOVE and live an emotionally isolated life.
That is the price you are paying for their support and a room to live in (their freedom to gossip about you). Sounds like they don't have good boundaries but not sure how you can get around that.
Deal with it by getting out of the house as soon as you can.
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