Is there an affordable way to get my daughter an iPhone for Christmas? (person, business)
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One of my boys was a lot like this as a teen.
I feel your pain, OP.
We never gave into him. Any and all income that was not earmarked for necessities during those years was saved for college expenses. End of subject.
He was difficult for about seven years. All through college, but we stuck to our budget and he graduated with honors, on time and with no debt. The last year of college, he wanted to live off campus, which he did, but we only contributed to this with the same amount of money as on campus would have cost.
It wasn't much fun for those years but it paid off. He thanks us now and he is a well adjusted, successful and loving son.
During the difficult years, he was very susceptible to peer pressure. I talked to him a lot about his own sense of self worth and confidence that comes from within. We tried to treat him like a young adult with these conversations and with other conversations about respect and kindness.
I hope this helps, op.
In closing, in your posts, I didn't see where you promised such an expensive i-phone, just an i-phone. Peer pressure can be powerful, but an enduring sense of self esteem comes from within.
Definitely not everything, If I feel something pushes the boundaries I'm obviously going to say no, but things that I know greatly affect her self-esteem are what worries me.
Self-esteem is not gotten from things, it is gotten by accomplishments and family. Let her know what you can afford to spend and let her find an iphone that fits this budget even if it means switching carriers to get a deal on it. Let her do the leg work to find something within this budget. It will be good for her to realize what things cost and whether her desires are worth the cost. Also, let her know now there will be no new car
Reading your replies though, especially the one where you said if you had a better paying job, I think she may be getting a little self-esteem issues from you. Be proud of yourself and show her that things aren't what makes you happy. I bet some of those other kids have parents who just buy them stuff to shut them up rather than spending time with them. Dinners are probably with all of them on their respective iphones. Sad.
An iPhone that's $950 for a 16 year old? Who's going to pay for the monthly phone plan? That's not free or cheap either. She have a job to pay that monthly phone bill? She'll live without an iPhone.
Know what I got when I turned 15? I got my 2nd and 3rd earring holes pierced! Then for my 16th birthday, I got a stereo. Cost less than $100. Were these given to me because I was told I was getting them? Nope. I still had to earn them. Any earrings I wanted, I HAD to pay for. Any cd's, cassettes, etc I wanted for that stereo, I had to pay for!
Kids used to be thankful for their gifts. They didn't demand them. That's changed in how people are raising children today. Life's full of disappointments! She'll live. I mean I wanted desperately to be 5'4"....I would have done anything to be at least that tall. I made it to 5'1" and didn't die. If you can't afford the phone, then you can't afford the phone. It's not a one time expense either.
If you do buy a 16 year old a really expensive phone, be sure to buy the insurance for it. Phones get lost, stolen, dropped, wet. If your daughter loses her phone she is going to demand a new replacement.
Ken, you are making a mistake feeling that you are not being the best possible parent. I will not take any cheap shots here, only to say that her Samsung argument is simply absurd. The best gift that any parent can give is to instill the values of sharing and sacrifice. Make it clear that her attempts to guilt trip you will not be successful ... time for her to show some maturity.
I've had 2 Samsung phones, the S2 and the Note 5 (my current phone). Both are better phones than the iPhone that came out at the same time. I'm very pleased with the Note 5, which is why I'm not upgrading in the near future.
In my opinion, a 16 year old should be aware of the financial situation of the family. Is your daughter aware that you cannot afford an iPhone for her? You should be upfront and tell her that, if not.
When I was 14, I forwent a school trip because my parents could not have afforded the trip expenses that month.
Last edited by nirvana07; 12-16-2017 at 11:50 AM..
Reason: Grammar
I do agree with you. That was incredibly amiss on my part, but the mindset behind it was that during the course of those 3 years I'd save up and get enough money together to get her the cell phone, but sadly confounding variables I hadn't anticipated got in the way and I had to use up a lot of my savings to take care of the unexpected family situation that occurred.
I would be using this to teach her a lesson on priorities, because that is part of being an adult. Getting an iPhone or something else that requires a significant sum of money but is not a *necessity* very often gets overruled when other matters intervene that also cost money.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with a Samsung! Both my daughters have had Samsungs since they were allowed cell phones and I'm incredibly satisfied. I would have no issue putting my foot down and telling her she has to live with using a Samsung had I not promised her an iPhone. My main issue is that I don't want to disappoint her after promising her something I know she's been looking forward to for 3 years. She isn't too spoilt. If I hadn't made the mistake of promising her the newest iPhone at 16 she would completely understand us not being able to afford the latest model and would just ask for something else, but I promised her something and my wife and I have always tried to instill the value of staying true to your word in our kids, so it would be so hypocritical of me to manipulate that value whenever it suits my fancy. Not to mention I'd feel horrible letting her down.
The blame here is on me, I even got into a massive argument with my wife over this no more than 2 hours ago because she also thinks this whole situation is on me
This is why you don't "promise" anything. You owe her NOTHING besides a roof over her head, clothes on her back, and food on her plate. And a boot in the rear when she gets out of line.
Why not show her this thread? Let her read it all and come back and report how she reacted.
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