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It does not mean that you have to be a doormat and passively take whatever wrongdoing they do to you no matter what. There is a point where it's best to "honor" them from a safe distance.
This is how my DH looks at it. I respect them "because" they are my mother and father...and that's it.
I agree, wise advice but just ftr, his mothers thieving doesn't excuse not receiving any $$ for rent.
I also suspect his $500 xmas money given to him was kept and the recipient, lied to saying he kept it
Totally deceitful and that needs to be addressed directly in case it occured
I would be devistated as if my other parent handed me $500, they'd at least have gotten a thank you card
Not a lie from my Mom saying she "passed it on" or would "pass it on"
that is usually just the tip of the iceburg
She needs to just politely ask him if he can afford a little $$. Not just take money from him then
tell him she has the right to steal because she "does so much for him"
If he is under-age, or still in high school, he owes her nothing. She is just doing what parents are obligated to do. Care for their children which includes "doing alot for them"
I don’t disagree with you re: stealing, but I’d be looking for a “why.”
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What makes your mother's jewelry box a safe place? Probably the first thing a robber would grab would be her jewelry box. This "safe keeping" power control play lacks all logic. Nothing safe about a jewelry box sitting out in the open.
The mother has a lack of respect for OP's personal boundaries. Since this money pilfering has happened several times I would assume nothing was safe in their bedroom, no privacy whatsoever.
OP, just assume your mother goes through everything in your room and behave accordingly, which means keep your money in your wallet and don't leave anything in your room which you want to keep private.
Either have a heart to heart about your privacy and boundary that you would like your room to be off limits to search and seizure, and if you can't agree, time to think about moving out unless OP is still a minor, in which case, time to keep their private items under lock and key or in their wallet. I can think of lots of things a teenager might have that need to be kept private.
I think trust has been broken and even if the mother said she would no longer go through the bedroom searching and sniffing around, not sure I would trust that to be the truth.
I agree with everything above. My first thought about the jewelry box story was, "Since when is a jewelry box a safe place?" Maybe because some of the4m have locks on them, women think they're safe? Do they have any idea how cheap and flimsy those locks are?
As to the bolded, I think it's pretty obvious that she does go through everything in his room, and at frequent intervals. He leaves for a couple of hours, and suddenly his money's gone? What possible reason would she have had to enter his room during a brief absence? it points to compulsive behavior.
I think the entire issue points to possibly a narcissistic parent, or some other personality disorder. The OP should reflect on his experience in the family growing up, to see if he can find antecedents to these incidents, in his mother's behavior: possible discounting of his feelings or concerns, or maybe neglect, lack of support for various challenges or milestones or simple things like schooling, sports, or other efforts, maybe subtle manipulations or subtle emotional abuse he took to be her "quirks" as a child. These sudden boundary violations, selfish behavior, lying and thieving didn't come out of nowhere. There's got to be a greater psychological context and history to it.
My parents have an interesting dynamic. So my dad has been an *******, but he has good intentions. Just want me to do well in life. Offers to help me when I am in a bind financially (very rare).
My mom is an awesome person in your face, but I am starting to think she is a shady person. Basically she takes my money here and there, 20 bucks, 100 etc... So just this christmas I got 100 bucks given to me by a relative and it was on my desk. Then I leave somewhere and it was gone. I asked my mom where was the envelope on my desk and she says "oh if you want envelopes its in my drawer envelopes worth only a couple of cents" My 100 dollars with the nice envelope was in her drawer lol. I don't know how to feel to be honest. I guess it feels like some people who idolized michael jordan than in reality mj is just a pos human being.
Now one time my dad gave me 500 bucks to help me out with school and my mom brought it to me. I said no I don't need it (i am pretty independent and don't like help), now I am thinking she just took the money herself lol. I hate to think of my mom this way, just mad confusing for me. Like I can't trust anyone not even my own mom.
Sounds like you can't trust her. That is unfortunate and not a pleasant realization. Quit leaving money laying around. Put it in the bank immediately, and get a lockable box for whatever cash you think you have to keep on hand. Next time your dad gives you money through her, take it, and discuss it with your dad later.
A others have said, it is the "why" that I'm wondering about. Does she have a spending problem? low income? drug or gambling problem? If you are over 18, and her income can't cover the bills, perhaps you should discuss paying rent or utilities. Whatever the reason, though, she shouldn't be stealing from you and you shouldn't be lol'ing about it.
Why wouldn't you, if you and your parents are the only ones who ever enter the home? Most parents don't steal from their own kids.
Because it could easily get misplaced or accidently thrown away if just sitting someplace random in an envelope. My parents always give my SO and I cash for Christmas. No one in my house is going to steal it, but I put it in my bank account first chance I get. I don't want that much money sitting around my house. If it was just $5 or $10 I wouldnt be as concerned about it being misplaced. But $100? No, put it away someplace safe.
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