Is my father crazy or is it just me? (siblings, male, talks)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
My father is very macho and misogynistic. I remember when I was 16, I wanted to get a part-time job working as a cashier in a department store. A cashier is like the most common job. I remember when I told my dad about it he said, "You want to be a cashier? I always looked at that as a woman's job." I then told him, "There are a lot of guys who are cashiers". He then said, "Yeah, all the lame guys."
I'm currently in my third year of college and I decided that I want to be a nurse. He doesn't support me wanting to become a nurse because once again he thinks it is a woman's job. When I told him about it he said "You want to be a nurse?" He asked in a very nasty tone. "That's for women." My mother supports my choice 100 percent. I then told my mother, "Dad thinks being a nurse is just for women, but it's not there are a lot of male nurses." She then told me, "I know son". She called my dad into the room to tell him, "Don't put down his career choice, being a nurse is a great career, and it's not just for women there are a lot of men who are nurses." I then told him, "Yeah many people still look at nursing as a woman's job, but it's not just for women. There are a lot of male nurses" My father just laughed a bit and walked out the room because he didn't want to hear it.
Today he asked me if he could borrow a few quarters to put some air in his tires. I just throw all my change in my backpack because I get lazy sometimes. I told him "Hold on, I have some in my backpack." I keep my laptop, notebooks, and all my other school stuff in my backpack. All my change is at the bottom. I had to take all my supplies out to get to my change. My father asks, "Wow, you have to go through all that?" I told him, "Yeah, eventually I'm going to get a plastic bag so I can keep all my change in it." He then tells me, "Keeping change in a plastic bag. That's what women do. What do you want me to buy you a purse so you can start putting your change in it?" WHAT??? How is keeping pocket change in a plastic bag to make it easier to store and find, only for women???!!!
My father is being very misogynistic, sexist, macho, and just absurd. Is it normal for men to be like this? Are men usually like this or is it just my dad?
My father is very macho and misogynistic. I remember when I was 16, I wanted to get a part-time job working as a cashier in a department store. A cashier is like the most common job. I remember when I told my dad about it he said, "You want to be a cashier? I always looked at that as a woman's job." I then told him, "There are a lot of guys who are cashiers". He then said, "Yeah, all the lame guys."
I'm currently in my third year of college and I decided that I want to be a nurse. He doesn't support me wanting to become a nurse because once again he thinks it is a woman's job. When I told him about it he said "You want to be a nurse?" He asked in a very nasty tone. "That's for women." My mother supports my choice 100 percent. I then told my mother, "Dad thinks being a nurse is just for women, but it's not there are a lot of male nurses." She then told me, "I know son". She called my dad into the room to tell him, "Don't put down his career choice, being a nurse is a great career, and it's not just for women there are a lot of men who are nurses." I then told him, "Yeah many people still look at nursing as a woman's job, but it's not just for women. There are a lot of male nurses" My father just laughed a bit and walked out the room because he didn't want to hear it.
Today he asked me if he could borrow a few quarters to put some air in his tires. I just throw all my change in my backpack because I get lazy sometimes. I told him "Hold on, I have some in my backpack." I keep my laptop, notebooks, and all my other school stuff in my backpack. All my change is at the bottom. I had to take all my supplies out to get to my change. My father asks, "Wow, you have to go through all that?" I told him, "Yeah, eventually I'm going to get a plastic bag so I can keep all my change in it." He then tells me, "Keeping change in a plastic bag. That's what women do. What do you want me to buy you a purse so you can start putting your change in it?" WHAT??? How is keeping pocket change in a plastic bag to make it easier to store and find, only for women???!!!
My father is being very misogynistic, sexist, macho, and just absurd. Is it normal for men to be like this? Are men usually like this or is it just my dad?
Not normal anymore.
How old is your dad?
I work in health care. More and more male nurses and heath care aides all the time.
Unless your dad is like 70 plus this attitude seems pretty strange if living in the USA or Canada.
Im 60 and I don't think like that. He's way outta tune with the world. Being born in about 1965 he should have a lot more of open values and not so myopic. But, he doesn't . its his narrowminded attitude that causes unrest in families, communities, and countries.
Insecure about something. Maybe you are getting a lot more education than he did. Maybe girls like you and he wasn't very successful with girls (assuming you are straight). Maybe he's got some latent homosexual issues and has overcompensated by becoming excessively obsessed with being "manly" and never, never, doing or saying anything the least bit "girly".
If you can understand what he is insecure about it can help you to manage and cope with his attitude. The attitude won't change unless something in his life makes him decide to deal with it, so don't even try.
Just say: "times have changed" and continue doing what are you doing.
He just talks. He is not physically holding you back.
But he is actively demeaning his son. What our parents think of us is important, and that doesn't change as time goes on. We all want our folks to be proud of us.
OP, you cannot change your father. He's not crazy, he's an old school male chauvinist. I feel more sorry for your mom, because you will eventually move out and you will only have to endure his chauvinism when you go home to visit. Your mom, who sounds like a true gem of a mother, is stuck with him unless she leaves him.
You are following a noble path. Understand that your father will probably never understand and never validate your career choice. But you aren't doing it for him. The appreciation of your patients, the ones whose lives you touch on a daily basis, will be validation enough. Both my mother and my sister were in the hospital recently, and they both had male nurses as part of the staff rotation. They were caring people who made a difficult situation easier to bear. We thought they were wonderful. That's what you do it for.
So my thought is that your dad is probably a very unhappy guy who derives his self-worth from his ideas of what "masculinity" is. Did he ever serve in the military? I'm thinking no, but you might surprise me with your answer.
I would ignore him. He is clearly not very bright and has low self-esteem. I pity your mother.
Do not let this guy undermine your confidence or deter you from your very logical and admirable (and potentially lucrative!) career path.
You can just not respond when he says stuff like that. Or respond with something neutral like "I see." Or just "ok." Don't react - it'll drive him crazy. He's kind of a bully, and he wants you to get mad.
So my thought is that your dad is probably a very unhappy guy who derives his self-worth from his ideas of what "masculinity" is. Did he ever serve in the military? I'm thinking no, but you might surprise me with your answer.
I would ignore him. He is clearly not very bright and has low self-esteem. I pity your mother.
Do not let this guy undermine your confidence or deter you from your very logical and admirable (and potentially lucrative!) career path.
You can just not respond when he says stuff like that. Or respond with something neutral like "I see." Or just "ok." Don't react - it'll drive him crazy. He's kind of a bully, and he wants you to get mad.
Actually yes, my father has served in the military. That could partly be the reason of his macho attitude.
My father is being very misogynistic, sexist, macho, and just absurd. Is it normal for men to be like this? Are men usually like this or is it just my dad?
No, it's not really "normal" anymore for someone of his age. I'm a 65-year-old woman and male contemporaries with whom I am acquainted do not think – or talk – like this. My son doesn't talk or think like this. But these guys certainly haven't died out and I am occasionally surprised at men – even far younger than myself – still holding such views.
Some questions:
* What do you know about his upbringing?
* In what part of the country (I'm assuming U.S.) did he grow up?
* Are his parents alive?
* What was the family's economic status and what did your grandfather do for a living?
* What does your dad do for a living?
* Does your dad have siblings – particularly brothers – and do they share his sentiments?
* Coworkers or buddies down at the corner bar who do?
Your dad is something of a walking anachronism. Even Archie Bunker was starting to get a clue when your dad was a small child. He's got some issues (as do we all) but at least from your post he sounds to be – much like fictional Archie – more bark than bite. Your mom recognizes it, can stand up to him, and is supportive of your choices. You have managed to grow up, avoided adopting his notions as gospel, and recognize the absurdity as what it is. Keep going in the direction you are.
Hopefully, your dad also has some good qualities and this isn't the complete description of him.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
.....
