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No, he's not crazy. I'm not even sure he's misogynist. After all, he wants you to be more than a nurse.
Nurses have some of the highest wages you can get without a bachelor's degree. They have incredible flexibility and opportunities. I can't think of a better career provided you can hack it. I've seen valedictorians go into nursing because they didn't want to go $100k into debt in medical school only to work 80 hour weeks... smart move. They are now making easy $70-100k annually, almost no student debt, can get a job anywhere, and for those who can be flexible with their hours and live near work for call, they are clearing a huge profit.
The main reason I'm not a nurse is I can't hack the memorization and ability to put up with patients.
Good for OP--he's taking on a challenging, fast-paced, hands-on job with great respect and prospects. I still don't know why more men don't do it.
Neither one of you is crazy. But in our house you'd be termed "a little touchy."
Your dad's a hoot! He's just playing around with you. He knows full well what you're exposed to at college, and just wants to round you out a bit. At least he isn't forcing you to watch boring f'ball games all the time. (guys do that to make sure sonny doesn't grow up, you know, "that way.")
So, I always wondered, what do guys do at "Capping?"
[and P.S....yes, guys DO make good nurses and there are zillions of them; Tell him Biff said so.]
Last edited by TwinbrookNine; 01-14-2018 at 12:43 AM..
1) My father grew up in a neighborhood in Detroit that was a little rough. He told stories on how he used to get into fights, etc. He grew up without a father. His father wasn't in his life. He was raised by a single mother. He said she was very strict. He didn't finish high school. However, he did get his GED.
2) His mother passed away I believe in 1990 due to Breast Cancer. His father, I don't know.
3) I would say the family's economic status was middle class.
4) My dad works at a place where he fixes things. Most of his coworkers are men. He's been at this job for 24 years now. He complains all the time that he wants to leave his job, but he sticks with it. So basically, he hates his job. Before this job I know he used to work as a busboy at a yacht club, he served in the military, and he used to do carpet cleaning.
5) My dad has two younger brothers. So, he's the oldest. His youngest brother is nothing like him. He is a very nice guy, and doesn't share his sentiments. His other brother does share some similarities with him, but he doesn't really have the same views as my father either.
6) I don't know anything about his coworkers, so I can't answer that question. My dad doesn't really have any friends. He doesn't hang out with his coworkers outside of work. He doesn't have any buddies he goes to grab a drink with. Only thing he does is take my brother and I out for car rides every weekend.
My dad does have good qualities. He has done a lot for me and my siblings. He always made sure we got to school, had food, clothes, etc. However, there are many times where he is a jerk, disrespectful and rude. He's also short-tempered and gets angry easily. His behavior is very 50/50. Sometimes he's cool, calm, and collected, and other times he just has a very bad attitude.
And thank you for your advice. I really appreciate it.
He sounds like a very disappointed man - not disappointed with you, but with his own life - whose resentment and frustration are making him old long before his time. It may be that he is hoping to live vicariously through you, and as a result, is critical of choices you make that differ from those he would make, if he felt he still had any. He could even be jealous of opportunities you have had that he feels he missed. If anything, he sounds like someone to be pitied, although you do not want to let your pity show, as that would hurt his pride and make things even worse. If you can, try to look at him with the same detached compassion you would show to a difficult patient. He is just as broken as they are, even if his injuries are less visible, and mostly self-inflicted. I don't mean that you should accept verbal abuse - you shouldn't - but it would be better to end the conversation or just walk away than to try to argue. That might make him angry, too, but it will be much better for your own mental health.
Keep doing what you're doing, and don't let his anger and negativity poison your own outlook. Nurses are the backbone of our entire medical system, and you will never want for employment.
Your mother sounds like a lovely, strong, patient woman. You and your father are both lucky to have her. You are lucky to have a confidante and advocate, and he is lucky to have someone who is willing to see past his bad qualities to his good ones. I hope he appreciates her. I already know that you do.
Updated after finishing thread: Yes, he probably suspects that you are gay. I can think of only one reason why a grown man would find that threatening, and that is insecurity about their own sexuality. I hope you will be able to move out of your parents' home soon. Living with that kind of ongoing hostility, even if it is not directed specifically at you, but at gays in general, must be horrible.
Last edited by Catgirl64; 01-14-2018 at 04:20 AM..
You sound like a 20 year old who knows who he is and is strong enough to take his father's needling and bullying. Sorry it's so unpleasant but it is temporary (for you). I feel proud of you and you're not even my son.
IMO, you can forget the "arm-chair psycho analysis" that has been pronounced in this thread, and remember this: "Stick and Stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me!"
Unless, of course, YOU allow them to hurt. YOU control your feelings.
My step-father was such a man. I managed to ignore his less than stellar attributes, and as soon as I graduated from high school I joined the Navy and never looked back. When he died, I wasn't listed in his obituary, but the daughter of his fifth wife was. No big thing.
I know, the "sticks and stones" aphorism is old school, but it is still true.
You can't change him, and it will cause hard feelings if you try. Don't bother. Just live your life to please yourself. If he doesn't accept your choices, it is HIS problem, do not allow it to become YOUR problem!
Good luck.
OP, this is a bit off-topic, but as a writer and a lover of language, I just wanted to say that you are a master of language. It's joy to read your well-written posts.
The skill to express yourself and write well is a waning art and skill in these days of tweets, texts and "content."
A shame about your Dad. He's missing out on a relationship with a fine person. His loss. Let compassion for your Dad be yours. Must be hard for him to be filled with rancor and hate.
I've no doubt you'll be a success and go on to have a full and rewarding life.
Maybe OPs dad thinks nurses and wet nurses are the same.
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