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funny people are acting as if there is some kind of sin to be living at home with parents
lol yeah, I'm baffled by some of the reactions here.
Living in multigenerational homes was always the norm everywhere in the world for thousand years, except in the US due to capitalistic society which encourage individualistic or nuclear households; and now we even give psychiatric labels over it.
I don't live with my parents (father dead anyway) but when I did, there was not much of a difference in my everyday life.
lol yeah, I'm baffled by some of the reactions here.
Living in multigenerational homes was always the norm everywhere in the world for thousand years, except in the US due to capitalistic society which encourage individualistic or nuclear households; and now we even give psychiatric labels over it.
I don't live with my parents (father dead anyway) but when I did, there was not much of a difference in my everyday life.
Yea for some reason in mainstream American culture it's unacceptable.
There is a huge difference between adults living at home to pay off their student loans and/or save for the down payment of house or adults who live at home to help care for elderly or disabled parents and what you are describing.
I personally know two siblings that are in their early 70s that still live in the bedrooms that they had as children (their parents died years ago). While they did have jobs, neither of them married, or even dated. It is pretty sad. That could happen to your siblings.
My great aunts lived in their house until they were in their 90s. Then they died. They never married or found MR Right. It was just them two....lol. Sad but true.....
This is todays culture. I don't like to use the word millennials, but specifically adults between 20 and 30.
Why do you WANT to live at home??
When me and my friends were in high school in mid to late 90s, we were dreaming about moving to our own Apartments and getting jobs. If we couldn't afford living on our own we would share with friends. I grew up in a very loving and stable house hold so that was not the reason why I wanted to leave.
Idk....times are different.
This sometimes seems like a personal decision per family, but I do believe anything past 25 would be pushing it. There may be certain situations in which the right answer to this may be a bit different per family. I feel that if there are adult children staying at home that they need to have some goal to getting out of the house and a good reason why they are still at home. If it's simply because they are allowed to stay there, hopefully they are using their time wisely to save up money/pay off debts or something of that sort.
When I lived at home with parents, one of my siblings had left the house the week she turned 18. They were tired of mom and dad's rules and needed that independence. They returned once for a month or two to live with them due to job situation, but that was it, and once they were back on their feet with work then they moved out. My other sibling was 21 when they got a job, a car, and left home. I left home when I was 20. So, we were all out of the house before age 22. I can't see my parents ever allowing me to come back to stay unless it was for a few days or a week unless of maybe perhaps an emergency crisis situation, which I can say they may treat differently.
I think there are some adults living with parents that are figuring some things out and making sure they are financially stable before going out into the real world. I've known other adults that have stayed with parents into their 30's because of affordability and they were simply allowed to stay there so they stayed. Then I've known other adults that simply take advantage of their parents by living at home so that they have their meals cooked, their food paid for, their utilities paid for, no rent, free internet, freedom to do whatever they want when they want (if the parents are this much of enablers), and they have the mindset that if they don't lose their job that it's no big deal because there isn't anything that they need to pay for anyway. This is saddest thing I have seen, especially when the parents are elderly and the adult children don't care to take care of their parents even if they are living in the same home.
Also, I'm not sure who would want to stick around the house until they are 30 either way. I liked it when I got out of the house and was able to start making more adult, real world decision. Sure, being an adult in the real world stinks sometimes...okay, a lot of the time...but it seems like less stress than trying to be an adult while still falling under all of your parents rules because you're in their home. Of course there are some things I would like to do in my own living space that I wouldn't be able to do in my parents home.
I didn't move out of my parent's house until later than many, but it wasn't due to laziness. I was just in school for a LOT of yrs (undergrad & grad school 2x) & I didn't move out until I had a good job to afford to move out, but I had moved out before graduating w/ my 2nd grad degree.
PLUS, I'm an only child of very protective parents who are much older than the parents of most people my age, so they're a LOT more old school w/ their thinking. They were never in a rush for me to move out. If I wanted to stay living there till I got married that would be been just fine w/ them. If it was up to my dad, I would have stayed there forever, plus it was a bit of a cultural thing for him, but my mom understood that I wanted to be out on my own & have my privacy.
OP, is this more of a cultural thing w/ your family OR is it just pure laziness & unmotivation on your siblings' parts? Sounds more like pure laziness.
A male 2nd cousin of mine is in his early 20s, but he never started college & it he's only had a couple, little jobs that were few & far between. He doesn't even have his driver's license! I don't know what in the world he does day in & day out. I don't understand him either. Most young people want to grow up too fast, start driving, have their own car, move out, etc. He just doesn't seem interested, so I can see him being in the same position in his 30s & beyond.
lol yeah, I'm baffled by some of the reactions here.
Living in multigenerational homes was always the norm everywhere in the world for thousand years, except in the US due to capitalistic society which encourage individualistic or nuclear households; and now we even give psychiatric labels over it.
I don't live with my parents (father dead anyway) but when I did, there was not much of a difference in my everyday life.
The Waltons come to mind. With families divorced and many estranged, they probably cannot envision a healthy happily family living together overall enjoying each others company each day. There does seem to be something amiss with the older girl, more than just disabilities but some kind of emotional pulling away but more severe. Sadly I suspect BrassTacksGal is onto something
My great aunts lived in their house until they were in their 90s. Then they died. They never married or found MR Right. It was just them two....lol. Sad but true.....
Yes that is very very unusual.
I used to know a guy like that, he was a good friend who I cycled with for a few decades. He passed away about a year ago.
He died a 91 year old virgin. He was very attracted to women but his first experience didn't go as planned and he never got over it.
Took something very silly to heart but he was a bit young mentally, for his age.
This sometimes seems like a personal decision per family, but I do believe anything past 25 would be pushing it. There may be certain situations in which the right answer to this may be a bit different per family. I feel that if there are adult children staying at home that they need to have some goal to getting out of the house and a good reason why they are still at home. If it's simply because they are allowed to stay there, hopefully they are using their time wisely to save up money/pay off debts or something of that sort.
Just curious... but why?? what if everyone is happy with the arrangement? this kind of thinking makes no sense to me.
Probably because i've never heard of a good reason to break up a loving family who enjoys each other enough to want to be together.
They won't be together forever, no doubt most people date then get married. Usually move out and start their own family not that they need to move out to do that. Especially if the house is large enough.
We had friends in high school, my boyfriends best friend. He married at 19 and moved his 18 year old wife in. About 6 years later, they began having a family. His Mother and Grandmother lived there, his father passed away in high school. When I drive by the house, I see their toys- 4wd trucks and stuff. Same Modular home but built on rooms. A vege garden. He went to College for a year but overall, has a great job at the Water Agency where he moved up. So it's not about $$. His wife was very very happy living there as was he. No one wanted them to move out, that's for sure. I'd never seen anything like it before.
Now their kids are in their mid twenties but I have no clue what the living arrangement is or anything about their kids
Yea for some reason in mainstream American culture it's unacceptable.
Why can't America have our own cultural norms like other countries do? In some cultures moving out of the family home before marriage is not acceptable.
We have nuclear families and it is considered positive to raise a child to be independent and for them to move out of the family home and live independently when they reach adulthood.
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