Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
If she is a SAHM with four LITTLE kids at home, I would donate something, especially if they are helping the community. But if the kids are older and childcare costs wouldn't be an issue, I would expect her to work for their extras. 2 working adults is now the norm, especially in lower income households.
I don’t think you should feel bad. Your friend made a choice to be a sahm and with that comes financial limitations, especially if she chose to have four children. Just ignore it and don’t let it come between your friendship. She will just do what she needs to do for her children as you need to do for yours. The only time it becomes a problem is if she tries to lay a guilt trip on you and tries to pressure you to contribute.
If I really cared about her and considered her a friend, then, yes, I would donate so her child could take the trip. Especially if it's an educational trip. If I'm able to help, I'll help. It might make a big difference in that kid's life, you never know. I know that's not the point of the thread and get why the gofundme is rather off-putting, but the end result is still that the kid will be able to go on the trip that he or she obviously wants to go on. Kids need to have good things happen for them. (Even if their parents are kind of awkward about getting it done. And the gofundme thing IS awkward. I agree.)
You are just on one of her email lists, and everyone on her lists get this invite to donate. But even if she penned you a person handwritten note, you are no obligation to donate to any of her causes. Don't take any of her requests personally. Delete them as soon as you get them.
And don't worry about what she thinks. Never feel guilty about not donating to her projects.
Does anyone remember the days when people actually paid their own bills and didn't expect friends and family to cover the cost of luxuries?
Agree. While there are many good and deserving causes on these crowdsourcing sites, there are also a lot of lazy ,moochers too.
And I think that the OP's friend is teaching her children bad habits. If you want a luxury, have the discipline and use self-sacrifice to save for a goal. It's a mistake to expect others to pay for what should be the sole responsibility of the OP's friend's little excursions.
Get a side job, skip the Starbucks lattes, have a yard sale or sell on eBay, pack a lunch instead of buying from a restaurant. There are many ways to save up for a vacation. Or have a camp weekend in the backyard or in a public park. And campgrounds are very cheap. This should all be family time activities, not shipping the kids off to a camp run by strangers running a kids camp for a profit.
It is somewhat curious that since her dad is already helping them out, why wouldn't he "help" them with this? (I'm not saying they should be relying on her dad for this, but the precedent is obviously already set.)
I wouldn't feel bad for not donating. They can't be doing too bad if she's still a SAHM and have her dad somewhat supporting them. How much are they trying to get?
It sounds like there is more to this story than her posting a request on go-fund-me. It sounds like you have deeper issues with this person, namely that you think she acts entitled.
Since this is an adult you have known for many years, its unlikely she is going to change, and its not realistic to think that you should or could change her. So that leaves you with the option of ditching her because you feel your values are not in sync. On the other hand, if you still value her friendship, then you just need to be clear about your own boundaries and act in accordance with them. She is allowed to ask people to donate, just as you are allowed to choose not to.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I know that's not the point of the thread and get why the gofundme is rather off-putting, but the end result is still that the kid will be able to go on the trip that he or she obviously wants to go on. Kids need to have good things happen for them. (Even if their parents are kind of awkward about getting it done. And the gofundme thing IS awkward. I agree.)
