Should I donate to my friend's GoFundMe account? (brother, sister, mother)
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I think your friend has developed a bad habit of begging from the community for non-essentials and luxuries for herself and her family, and now she's teaching her children the same bad habit of how to become a burden on society. If she was my friend I would tell her so. I certainly would not feel bad about refusing to make a donation. I had always been under the impression those Go Fund Me things were supposed to be for genuine emergencies, not for minor things.
I have a friend that I absolutely adore. We have known each other for 30 years.
She and her husband both have college degrees. They have four kids and she is a SAHM. He has a job that doesn't pay very well, but it's very fulfilling and helps the community.
Her dad helps them out a lot, flying them out for visits, buying them a car, etc.
I have now received the third GoFundMe for something to do with their kids. It is a fundraiser so one of their kids can go on a school trip.
I feel bad thinking this way, but I have always had a full time job and paid for this kind of thing with my own money for my kids. I kind of feel resentful that she feels like it's okay to stay home and basically beg friends and family for anything she wants.
I know I shouldn't be petty like this and I should just donate as it's for her kids and they didn't ask for this situation.
Am I wrong for this feeling of resentment?
It would be more decent of them to pay for their kid's trip and beg for money for themselves. "Please fund our life as a stay-at-home mom and a dad with a fulfilling but low-paying job! We can't POSSIBLY change our lifestyle!"
Your friend makes comments to you or actually calls people out on social media?!?!
It's not that I think they should have had $8k laying around for medical bills - it's that after this medical situation came up and they asked for the money, they never slowed down spending elsewhere....Which is their prerogative. But don't poor mouth me to get donations and then post on FB all of your fun nights out and trips at the same time. I'll never know the actual line item facts about their finances but optics go a long way when you're asking me for money, am I right?
I was in an accident that cost me $8,000 out of pocket. Most of the injuries were to my teeth, and my dental insurance covered very little. I also had house repairs I had to make, simply because I had an old house.
For me, it was bargain groceries and haircuts at the beauty school for quite a while. No vacations, no fancy restaurants, no begging, and no GFM account.
I have a friend that I absolutely adore. We have known each other for 30 years.
She and her husband both have college degrees. They have four kids and she is a SAHM. He has a job that doesn't pay very well, but it's very fulfilling and helps the community.
Her dad helps them out a lot, flying them out for visits, buying them a car, etc.
I have now received the third GoFundMe for something to do with their kids. It is a fundraiser so one of their kids can go on a school trip.
I feel bad thinking this way, but I have always had a full time job and paid for this kind of thing with my own money for my kids. I kind of feel resentful that she feels like it's okay to stay home and basically beg friends and family for anything she wants.
I know I shouldn't be petty like this and I should just donate as it's for her kids and they didn't ask for this situation.
Am I wrong for this feeling of resentment?
You are under no obligation to donate, so don't feel guilty or like you "should."
I know it's pointless to say at this point for this couple you know and for many others, but this is exactly why people need to THINK before having so many kids, or maybe even any at all in some circumstances. Having four children in their apparent financial situation sounds reckless and stupid IMO. But hindsight is wonderful. Or maybe the mom should start working. There are usually other obvious solutions rather than begging for money online. It's tasteless IMO when GFM is used for these purposes.
Don't donate (if you don't want to or feel resentful about it) and also don't say anything about it. I understand your resentment but letting your resentment be known in any way likely won't end well for the friendship. IMO many GFMs used for these purposes often don't get that much money anyway, especially if used consistently, like a total money grab.
Do they actually get what they ask for, or even close to it, for these campaigns? Does anyone donate at all? I've seen GFMs completely fall flat, get $0, and ones for more legitimate reasons than these seem to be. It's embarrassing to see.
It IS an educational trip. I guess that gives me pause too. But it happens to be the exact same trip that I paid for my kids with my own money.
I really do love her, but she has always had a sense of entitlement. Like when her dad takes her on trips or buys her a car, it's like she feels like he owes it to her to do these things.
I did donate generously to the last two, but it feels like there will be no end to it. This is just for her eldest child. I guess I will be expected to do the same for the other three?
If this current GFN is for the oldest child....What were the other last two GFM pages donations for?
We used to sell candy bars or candles. It was actually the kid working to raise money. I would happily buy one of those.
Not a parent with a GoFundMe.
"Eh"... I find those 2 to be not that much different. When someone's selling me girl scout cookies, I treat that as a charity since I can just go to the supermarket and buy the same thing for a fraction of the price. I spent 4x as much because I want to "feel better", but also help them. Sometimes, I'd prefer to just give money directly, without a middleman taking a cut.
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