Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I think the art of conversation is about being more interested in listening than talking. In that case, some of these topics that you deem boring are really windows into who that person really is. In other words, treat everyone as interesting. You'll be surprised.
That being said, when you join a group of people in conversation and they keep talking on and on about inside jokes, people you couldn't possibly know, or just whatever without at least providing you with footnotes, then that's bad conversational skills.
"Way back when..." stories about people you don't know and were probably dead before you were even born. The storyteller will try their hardest to remember exact names, dates and places from long ago. You still won't know who the heck they're talking about, but that rarely stops them from rambling on with their endless saga.
"Under the hood..." stories that are usually only interesting to car enthusiasts and auto-mechanics. They will go into such minute detail about gaskets, trannies, alternators, etc. and how it all works... until the other person's eyes glaze over from extreme boredom. And if you're working on my vehicle, all I need to know is what the problem is, if it can be fixed, and how much it will cost. That's it. There's no need to tell me all the steps it took you to fix the issue at hand. Really.
Then there are people who talk to you about other people that you don't know without explaining who they are. My sister does this. On and on about Ralph or somebody as if I met this person and know his background.
What's even worse, sometimes she's not talking about humans. When she was manager at a riding stable, she kept going on about how difficult Grace was to work with. Grace wouldn't listen or do what she was supposed to do, Grace was always in a bad mood, Grace just wanted to go off into a corner when it was hot...and then she mentioned that she started giving Grace more oats. The whole time she was yammering, I thought Grace was somebody who worked for her. She was one of the horses.
I agree that almost any topic can lead to enjoyable discussion. The words and tone of voice people use in "boring topics" often contribute to the boredom. Then there's the matter of ignoring what the audience wants; the topic should be something the audience likely would inquire about ("why" is maybe the best type of question), opine about, or contribute new information to.
I mentioned this in another thread along the same lines. Conversations I hate are the ones where somebody is telling me about talking to somebody else and has to give a narrative. "I said hi, how are you? He said I'm doing OK. How are you? I told him I'm fine. He asked how my mama was feeling...and on and on and on and on.
I write How To books. I'm in the middle of working on a manual on how middle aged ppl can get their parents to not complain ALL THE effen TIME.
In my research, it turns out complaining and negative comments is not just a habit ppl can get into. This habit gets even worse.
It turns out neural pathways (or other brain biology - I need to look into this further) change so complaining becomes more and more of a physical pattern of thought that the complainer finds difficult to change / escape.
I think it is similar to muscle memory along the nervous system. If you practice, say, a specific golf swing, your muscle memory creates grooves along that nervous system pathway.
A friend of mine works with people with pain in limbs which have been amputated. Using mirrors and specific exercises, new neural pathways are created in the brain so phantom limb pain is reduced or eliminated. Now this therapy is widely used with stroke victims.
So complaining and negative thinking/talking needs to be nipped in the bud before it starts interfering with healthy brain activity. I'm working on writing manuals, books, and forms for nursing home staff to use in the hope of delaying the brain a firm grip on negative thinking.
Money! I don't mean how much they have, but the constant injection of how much everything costs.
Or you get interrupted with: how much did THAT cost ya?
I thought of another one. I don't enjoy watching tv. So I don't. But when he is watching a show and I walk in and he starts telling me what's gone on so far. Um...there's a reason I'm not watching...
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
