He Assumed I Spoke "Asian" Because Of My Race! (appropriate, husband)
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Here's what our OP doesn't realize - EVERYONE is some form of annoying. Every last one of them.
You can spend your life annoyed, or you can learn to choose how you spend your energy.
Did you have to put it into such plain language and that in English? If memory does not fail me we had to learn thank you and please in as many languages as possible in elementary school - Olympics.
Possibly the man is from out of state and first time visiting California and didn’t know or realize that the state has a huge Asian population.
We live in the ozarks and when my son was going to school back east one of his friends dad who was from another country asked him if he was a hillbilly since he was from the ozarks. Even though it’s a derogatory term, he knew that the man probably didn’t know that and got a big laugh out of it.
Replying to OP's post, I'm Chinese American as well and people do that to me all the time. People assume I understand Mandarin (which I don't).
At work, I'm in international business and people in Shanghai see in my e-mails that I have a Chinese name, call me, and start speaking Mandarin to me because they assume I would know it. Even here in the USA, people do the exact same thing.
But since 70% of this country is white, if you're white, you're American and speak default English, but if you're not white, you must be from that country and you MUST speak the language too. It's an annoying mindset, but understandable.
3rd generation California-Chinese where my parents ALSO ONLY speak English..let alone a completely different ethnic culture from yourself
I know 3rd generation Chinese people like you and yes, people assume they understand Chinese as well when they don't. If you go to Hong Kong or China, people will start speaking Chinese to you because that's how you look. We all assume things about each other just by our looks. It's a freaking annoying part of life, but that's how it is.
I recall at the ripe age of 9 visiting my Great Aunt in Florida. She would introduce me to folks and when she said I was from an area that is renowned for Amish folks...People would say...Ohh they are such darling children...you know with their bonnets.I bet you look dear in that! I Looked quizzically at my aunt because up until that day I didn't even know such existed. I didn't get offended even when they asked if I talked Dutch. What I did do though is came home that summer and learned about the culture and heritage....
to this day I still take no offense when folks inquire of my local community....its enriched with old ways and some NEW ways....While I don't subscribe to the teachings I respect the community and the habits ....
If it helps any OP.....try to take it from a different angle....of Hey! Interesting language, what is it? Or Sorry I'm not bilingual ...What dialect is that? Show some interest .....or indifference if you dare.....
I know you don't mean any harm, but who says I'm not proud of my heritage?
3rd generation Chinese-Californian where my parents can only speak English too
The assumption in the case was that I only spoke Asian language or.. did not speak English (in an area where there are tons of 2nd 3rd gen Asian-Americans) so call it an over reaction, I did not consider it malice but yes ignorance
I am not the person to tell you how you should feel about something. I get how it can be frustrating if it happened a lot. But if it's an isolated incident then that's all it is. I have it happen to me here in The USA. Like I wrote in an earlier post. When growing up in Sweden, I looked more Italian, Greek or Spanish. I had dark hair and hazel eyes and a more olive skin complexion. Here in the US I work in a hospital serving the poor and minority neighborhoods in Chicago. I see a lot of Mexican patients. They all assume I speak Spanish, but I don't . I had one lady get mad at me for not speaking Spanish to her. lol They don't even ask me, they just go up and start babbling. My blond and black coworkers don't experience the same as me.
Well, I'm mixed, so half minority, and in this state a complete minority...... and it wouldn't bother me in the least.
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I really don't care whether you're Asian, Latino, or whatever. People who think like you do by placing *racial* minorities in a special category are part of the reason why this country still has problems with racism.
Your dismissive attitude, presumably as a non-person-of-color, is ALSO part of the reason why the country has issues with race
Take care with your words, it reveals more of your true colors (no pun intended) than you realize
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