Stepfather referred to me as his son (member, children, brother)
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I'm 28 and my "father" abandoned my mother while she was pregnant. I saw him only once in my life from afar.
Once I went to university, my mother started a relationship. I was 19 at the time and my stepfather has two sons of his own (they're 40 and 36). We have always got along very well. Because I was already an adult at the time, he never tried to be my father so to speak even though we do a lot of activities that might be considered "father-son activities".
He loves football and everytime he goes he also invites me to go alongside his sons. He has also given me some great advice regarding my career and I've discussed a few personal problems with him while keeping them from my mother.
Above everything, he's very respectful and gentle towards my mother and that's all that I care about (raising me on her own was not a walk in the park).
Well, long story short, the other day I overheard him speaking on the phone about something that was in the news. I was the one who had shared it with him and while talking about it he said "oh yes, I know, one of my sons told me."
I was suddenly surprised when I realised he had just mentioned me. Having never had a father while growing up, it's very weird that he might somewhat see me as one of his kids, albeit a borrowed one. Do you think he means it?
Yes! I do! This man sounds like a very good and unique person. You are really blessed to have him in your life.
No one always gets along well with their parents. If they say so, they are lying.
Do you call him "Dad"? If not, why not ask him for that privilege!
It’s refreshing to read such a nice post in this forum!
I agree with the other poster ... if you’re comfortable with it, ask him if you can call him dad. I think it would be an amazing gesture.
Reminds me of a story I saw on the news this week. A college football player wanted to surprise his stepfather. He had legally changed his last name to the stepdad’s, and had a game day jersey ready with the new name. He geared up for the game, and revealed the jersey to stepdad. It was a really sweet moment.
Well, long story short, the other day I overheard him speaking on the phone about something that was in the news. I was the one who had shared it with him and while talking about it he said "oh yes, I know, one of my sons told me."
I was suddenly surprised when I realised he had just mentioned me. Having never had a father while growing up, it's very weird that he might somewhat see me as one of his kids, albeit a borrowed one. Do you think he means it?
Yes.
Rejoice!
But don't take it for granted. And, based on my own experience, I would not recommend asking him if you can call him dad. Just rejoice in knowing.
I had an uncle through marriage, among the toughest and rough-spoken men one can encounter in daily life, police officer from the Bronx in the 1940s-1960s.
He touched me once, on the cheek, with affection, once, it sent warm waves of joy through my entire person that I still experience again and again to this day. Once was enough and no one needed to say anything.
I have 2 step daughters that came into my life as adults and 2 biological sons.
All grown..
I think of all 4 as my kids. If someone asks me about my kids I mention all
4 and spouses and the grands.
The tricky part is that they had a wonderful mother that died when they were teens.
So I do not call myself their "mother" out of respect to their mom.
If I introduce myself when I am around them I feel bad saying I am their stepmom, but not right
saying I am their mom either.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,699 posts, read 41,730,129 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DBKing
I'm 28 and my "father" abandoned my mother while she was pregnant. I saw him only once in my life from afar.
Once I went to university, my mother started a relationship. I was 19 at the time and my stepfather has two sons of his own (they're 40 and 36). We have always got along very well. Because I was already an adult at the time, he never tried to be my father so to speak even though we do a lot of activities that might be considered "father-son activities".
He loves football and everytime he goes he also invites me to go alongside his sons. He has also given me some great advice regarding my career and I've discussed a few personal problems with him while keeping them from my mother.
Above everything, he's very respectful and gentle towards my mother and that's all that I care about (raising me on her own was not a walk in the park).
Well, long story short, the other day I overheard him speaking on the phone about something that was in the news. I was the one who had shared it with him and while talking about it he said "oh yes, I know, one of my sons told me."
I was suddenly surprised when I realised he had just mentioned me. Having never had a father while growing up, it's very weird that he might somewhat see me as one of his kids, albeit a borrowed one. Do you think he means it?
I think he definitely means it. Be grateful this man considers you his own, a lot of people, myself included, would give an arm and a leg for a man who accepts and loves you as their own.
What a great thing to overhear. If you feel up to it emotionally, talk to him about it. And make sure to tell him how you feel about his kindness towards your mother.
No one always gets along well with their parents. If they say so, they are lying.
I have never had an argument with my parents other than small disagreements. We have always got along great. Not that that has anything to do with OP's post. Just had to point that out. I am not lying.
No one always gets along well with their parents. If they say so, they are lying.
WTH ??
I adored my parents until they passed away.
And I get along great with my adult kids. They treat me like a queen and I don't try to
run their lives.
It's amazing the way relationships flourish with mutual respect.
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