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But most of the time this attributes being upset to a situation where no one actually is. To me it seems like telling someone to smile because they look upset. Managing other people's emotions for them is very rude.
No. That has not been my experience. Usually we said this at my old job all the time when people in my unit got frustrated over annoying things that happened. People were legitimately upset. Plus we could all be a bit dramatic. So it was meant to be helpful and not all in the vein of being told to smile.
Take a deep breath = Count to ten. I guess it would work for some people to calm down.
I think I'd make a fist if someone ever said that to me. It takes a LOT to get me angry, and being told to calm down would just put more fuel to my fire.
So, in my group it’s meant like “Take a deep breath — you’ll get through this.”
I’ve never taken it to mean that I’m overreacting—-but I wouldn’t mind if it did. Being unnecessarily emotional is an energy drain for me that prohibits me from being productive and happy.
I feel the exact opposite especially when I'm nor in a state of emotional upheaval and its said.
I find this very trite and a ridiculous thing to say to anyone unless they are literally hyperventilating with anxiety.
If someone is upset to the point of being red faced, or sobbing, or the inability to form a coherent statement I might tell them to take a deep breath. It slows them down enough to make communication easier. Can't make sense of someone sputtering away in a fit of tears or anger.
I might say that to a close friend or my own kid who is upset, but not to some random person or to someone who is not visibly upset. And I wouldn't say it if they were angry at me... more like if they were upset about a situation that didn't directly pertain to me. And actually, my phrasing would be something like, "okay, just breathe for a minute."
I always took it as take some deep breaths before it can escalate into something worse. I don’t think it’s bad advice.
But why is it your role to give it?
If someone is recounting a prosaic story and you say this, you attribute a level of upset to them that probably doesn't exist. Thats annoying. If someone is truly angry or even just venting, telling them to "take a deep breath: is useless. How about listening and asking questions about why they are upset?
This phrase is ridiculous except at a doctor's office.
If someone is upset to the point of being red faced, or sobbing, or the inability to form a coherent statement I might tell them to take a deep breath. It slows them down enough to make communication easier. Can't make sense of someone sputtering away in a fit of tears or anger.
the op is NOT asking about a situation like this at all but one in which a person is recounting a situation and is calm. I don’t know about others here but it reminds me of the reaction from some men who tell you you’re being hysterical or overreacting when in fact you’re simply asserting something or making a statement.
Of course not. I even take deep breaths with them to show them how to calm down.
Oh my - you ARE nice!
Seriously, if you really want to help then further inquire about the issue so you at least understand if the problem is major or minor rather than just assume. Unless you're dealing with an actual child, don't assume they are overreacting - it's very dismissive. If you're going to be dismissive then just turn away rather than offer fake help in the form of "take a deep breath".
I've heard it all my life, even had it said to me sometimes. Did it make me mad? Yes, on some occasions, and on each of those, I was made because they were right, it NEEDED to be said to me, I needed to stop, take a deep breath, organize my thoughts, and become coherent again so that I could express those thoughts so someone else could understand them.
If you have it being said to you often, by more than one person, you need to look at the common denominator, which would be you, rather than getting mad and wanting to kill the messenger.
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