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Another thing to consider is that if this is from your great-grandparents there are A LOT more relatives that may absolutely love that family heirloom. Are you in contact with any of them?
I'll give an example. I have a small candy dish that belonged to my grandmother. I had about 30 first cousins on that side of my family (yes, a few big families). If my children did not want the dish (they do want it) I would first ask one of my first cousins (or their children) if they wanted it before I just threw it away or gave it to Goodwill. If this was in my family there are probably 70 or 80 second cousins that have an equal relationship to their great-grandparents as my children.
I bet that one of the first people that I ask would want to take it or would know of a sibling or cousin who would really, really enjoy it. Heck, I have already had several relatives ask for the candy dish (or similar items).
Another thing to consider is that if this is from your great-grandparents there are A LOT more relatives that may absolutely love that family heirloom. Are you in contact with any of them?
I'll give an example. I have a small candy dish that belonged to my grandmother. I had about 30 first cousins on that side of my family (yes, a few big families). If my children did not want the dish (they do want it) I would first ask one of my first cousins (or their children) if they wanted it before I just threw it away or gave it to Goodwill. If this was in my family there are probably 70 or 80 second cousins that have an equal relationship to their great-grandparents as my children.
I bet that one of the first people that I ask would want to take it or would know of a sibling or cousin who would really, really enjoy it. Heck, I have already had several relatives ask for the candy dish (or similar items).
Wow, that is a lot! I think my Aunt has a living cousin. I know my Mom used to talk to her when she was alive. I think my Aunt would have mentioned it, though. If she would want it.
I wish she would be more straightforward. But she isn't so I'm sending it. She never said she didn't have room. She said it's too much trouble for me (no it isn't) and she doesn't have anyone to leave it to (who cares?)
"Just let me know if you want it or not. If you do, I'll send it to you. If you don't, I'm selling it on EBay."
I just don't know why this is so hard.
Probably because these types of things are usually fraught with angst, and OP doesn't want to spend the rest of her life with an aunt who's resentful they got rid of the Important Family Thing that the aunt thinks should've been kept (even though she didn't want to keep it) or that they got rid of the Important Family Thing they should've known the aunt really wanted (despite what she said). Yes, this causes big problems in families. I've heard too many stories of years-long rifts over inheritance of stuff.
Probably because these types of things are usually fraught with angst, and OP doesn't want to spend the rest of her life with an aunt who's resentful they got rid of the Important Family Thing that the aunt thinks should've been kept (even though she didn't want to keep it) or that they got rid of the Important Family Thing they should've known the aunt really wanted (despite what she said). Yes, this causes big problems in families. I've heard too many stories of years-long rifts over inheritance of stuff.
Right.
At the start she thought it was all stolen and mourned it and said what she would have liked to have. Which I found, to my delight. Now it's a thing, lol. Since she never said she doesn't have room, since she said 'It's too much trouble for you and I don't have anyone to give it to' I am sending it. If she really didn't want it, she should have been more clear, imo.
'It's too much trouble for you' could mean 'I don't want to ask you to go to the trouble'. But I am ONLY sending that so far to see her reaction. She also mentioned a plate which I didn't notice but will look for.
It could be she is just glad they are not stolen and still in the family, but to me she should be more clear. It's a small item, not hard to have room for. I couldn't care less either way but I think she does want it.
Wow, that is a lot! I think my Aunt has a living cousin. I know my Mom used to talk to her when she was alive. I think my Aunt would have mentioned it, though. If she would want it.
I wish she would be more straightforward. But she isn't so I'm sending it. She never said she didn't have room. She said it's too much trouble for me (no it isn't) and she doesn't have anyone to leave it to (who cares?)
I think you should send it, sounds like she is just very sweet and doesn't want to impose on you.
Sometimes when people are trying to be polite and don't want to commit to anything they end up pussyfooting around the other person. Sometimes the best way to stop the cycle is to put a deadline on it. I agree with offering one more time; and give an end date. You will dispose of it after such and such a time. It isn't confrontational, sets your own mind, informs her that the ball is in her court. It could clarify everything.
Sometimes when people are trying to be polite and don't want to commit to anything they end up pussyfooting around the other person. Sometimes the best way to stop the cycle is to put a deadline on it. I agree with offering one more time; and give an end date. You will dispose of it after such and such a time. It could clarify everything.
She either truly doesn't want to put me to the trouble or doesn't want it but doesn't know how to say that after the long email about how much she treasured it and was mourning it. The fear is that she wants it here, safe in the China cabinet. She thinks she's going to a nursing home soon based on age alone (very healthy) so she might want it here. Still pretty sure I am sending it. 'It's too much trouble for you' is vague. 'I don't have room for it' like items in the past she has said that about is clear. She didn't say that.
I missed something as I thought Bob stole all this china. Where was it found?
Also, if Bob did indeed steal your brother’s power wheelchair, that needs to be reported to the police. There is no way he had permission to take that. What does your brother use in the nursing home - are power wheelchairs not allowed?
I think she might actually end up being happy to have received it. She could very well be thinking it's too much trouble for you to pack it up and pay to have it sent to her. The way she went on about it when she thought it was stolen I doubt, but I could be wrong, that she would be angry at you for sending it. Like one other poster stated, send it to her with a nice card and letter.
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