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I missed something as I thought Bob stole all this china. Where was it found?
Also, if Bob did indeed steal your brother’s power wheelchair, that needs to be reported to the police. There is no way he had permission to take that. What does your brother use in the nursing home - are power wheelchairs not allowed?
For whatever reason he didn't take this china. This is my grandmother's, with other pieces handed down to her. Bob took my mother's china and everyday dishes. Police can't do anything when the thief is a roommate. It makes it a civil matter.
My mother passed away and I received a China cabinet. It's full of my grandmother's china and some other items like this crystal thing that was a wedding souvenir at my great grandmother's wedding. Means nothing to me.
When I first told my mother's sister about things being stolen from the house she thought this was gone and went on about how she had held in resentment for years over my Mom getting it because her Mom said it should go to someone with heirs, blah blah.
Well, my brother and I have no children so it isn't being passed on to anyone except the junkyard either way. My sister is my heir but she's an adopted sibling.
Anyway, I offered to send it she said no, a picture is fine. She ooohed and ahhed over the picture and I said IDK why you don't let me just send it.
'It's too much trouble for you and I have no one to leave it to'.
I can't tell if she doesn't want the thing despite seeming like she did or what. I want to just send it. Merry Christmas!
I wouldn't incur any expense sending something so big. Leave it by the curbside and notify her "it's yours if you can beat the weekly trash pickup!"
For whatever reason he didn't take this china. This is my grandmother's, with other pieces handed down to her. Bob took my mother's china and everyday dishes. Police can't do anything when the thief is a roommate. It makes it a civil matter.
Sometimes there are special laws to protect disabled people. Did the police actual say that they couldn't do anything if a roommate steals a power wheelchair? In addition, since a power wheelchair is a very expensive item, it may qualify as theft whereas a roommate taking towels or dishes or silverware might be something that the police might "ignore".
If the police say "no" perhaps contact the district attorney's office or an organization that supports/helps people with a disability.
Sometimes there are special laws to protect disabled people. Did the police actual say that they couldn't do anything if a roommate steals a power wheelchair? In addition, since a power wheelchair is a very expensive item, it may qualify as theft whereas a roommate taking towels or dishes or silverware might be something that the police might "ignore".
If the police say "no" perhaps contact the district attorney's office or an organization that supports/helps people with a disability.
Good luck.
As to the value of things, my understanding is that it's always civil if the person lives there. There isn't a way to prove whose $20K diamond ring is.
Believe it or not, I think Bob left the china due to agreement between us that he would keep it safe. Everything else was deemed to belong to my brother, who Bob believes owes him money. And he might! My brother might have tricked him that h'ed get the house or half of it someday in exchange for care now.
I can't understand how the entire house was stripped except for this any other way.
Sometimes there are special laws to protect disabled people. Did the police actual say that they couldn't do anything if a roommate steals a power wheelchair? In addition, since a power wheelchair is a very expensive item, it may qualify as theft whereas a roommate taking towels or dishes or silverware might be something that the police might "ignore".
If the police say "no" perhaps contact the district attorney's office or an organization that supports/helps people with a disability.
Good luck.
I agree with this. It is hard to believe that a roommate, of any kind, can just take anything that they want when they leave and not have it a criminal matter. Sometimes it has to be at a certain value so it is considered a felony for the police to get involved.
Stealing a power wheelchair from a disabled person is is big deal. Unless Bob has written proof that your brother “gave” this to him it should be at least discussed with the police.
I agree with this. It is hard to believe that a roommate, of any kind, can just take anything that they want when they leave and not have it a criminal matter. Sometimes it has to be at a certain value so it is considered a felony for the police to get involved.
Stealing a power wheelchair from a disabled person is is big deal. Unless Bob has written proof that your brother “gave” this to him it should be at least discussed with the police.
My brother called the police, so maybe they will do something. He should be in jail.
Probably because these types of things are usually fraught with angst, and OP doesn't want to spend the rest of her life with an aunt who's resentful they got rid of the Important Family Thing that the aunt thinks should've been kept (even though she didn't want to keep it) or that they got rid of the Important Family Thing they should've known the aunt really wanted (despite what she said). Yes, this causes big problems in families. I've heard too many stories of years-long rifts over inheritance of stuff.
Well, here's what I did:
My dad collected a lot of family heirlooms from his parents, grandparents, great grandparents, etc. My mom didn't care about any of this. My two brothers cared about a few things (which they got when our parents died) but they didn't and in their defense COULDN'T help me sort through a lot of it.
My kids got what they wanted after my two brothers and I went through stuff. I also set aside some items and photos and that sort of thing for some cousins and gave them these things. OMG it took me years to get through all this and in fact I'm still not completely through. But I'm on the home stretch.
Over the course of all this, I have run into several family members who claimed they loved something but then they wouldn't actually come get it - it was like they wanted access to it (land, small items, whatever) but they didn't want to take responsibility for it. One cousin wanted family photos. Well, they are my family photos too, so I took HOURS to scan and photo and send him copies. He "lost" these. He claimed he couldn't find the email or messages. OK whatever - I did it AGAIN. That is it. He's not getting anything else from me. He's already gotten too much anyway. And he has called me several times over the years, asking about this or that - as if it was his right to something or other.
Cousins, adult kids, etc. - they all "loved" certain things but wanted me to store them, take care of them, pay taxes on them, pay utilities, etc. Nope. I said, "If you want it, take responsibility for it." That shut everyone up.
One brother kept saying he couldn't come get some items that I was holding for him. Finally I said, "I am not going to store this stuff anymore - come get it." He did get in his vehicle and come my way, but before he got here I said "oh and it's all or nothing. Take it ALL and what you don't want, take to Goodwill or wherever." This was a surprise to him. He actually thought he could come to my house, pick through what he wanted, and then expect me to get rid of the rest. He even tried to argue with me. "But I don't WANT that table." I said, "You never told me that before. I've been storing it for you for three years. It's yours. You do what you want with it."
Grrr.
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