To all those seeking to live in NC, what exactly is it that you are after? (Charlotte: insurance, chapel)

[BrianH1970]

Originally Posted by i'minformed

NC Man and Brian...two very good and well thought out posts. But unfortunately..your words, as well as mine...are falling on deaf years. They are going to believe that NC is an affordable "jackpot" promiseland no matter what.

Like I said, people are going to believe what they want to believe and see only what they want to see. It's not like you, NCman and myself have a stake in any of this. We have no personal interest in who or how many come down. We're just basing on experience of having been down here. It's shocking how much about NC simply isn't true.

It makes me wonder how many people on this board who hype NC as the promised land are actually realtors who would have more of a stake in selling the state. Honestly, if this state was everything people made it out to be, I'd be yelling till the cows come home, "Come on down!!!!" I'd be pressing my family up in Jersey to move down as opposed to saying "just stay where you are". I was the one at first who was trying to talk them into moving down. Now I'm telling them don't bother, we're moving back up.

Not to mention down here you're still a yankee, you'll never be one of them no matter how friendly they may seem to you.

And that's where NC is right now, never mind when the overdevelopment really kicks in...with the cost of living on the verge of skyrocketing yet the jobs down here still paying low.

I keep reiterating this so I don't come off looking like an angry nudge there are success stories. I know of only a few myself. But given all the people I personally know, those who have moved down here from NJ, I see nearly the exact opposite of the supposed promise of NC. I see people who did well up in New Jersey now trying to stretch a dollar. I see people from the north who are having an insanely difficult time even getting a job interview. I see people, for the most part, looking to head back home. This is the reality, folks.

I just don't get it....

[Swimmom32]

Brian, Your entitled to your opinon however, I have to disagree with u that the percentage is EXTREMELY high in general of people who love it there, all the people we know dh knows from work and so on love it there have been there quiet a few years now, and arent realtors and my friends arent realtors there either, and with that yes there are alot of realtors on the boards however THE PEOPLE on the board not the realtors basically gave us so much information good bad and indifferent but because one cant find a job OR one DOESNT like it there or somones expensese are higher than they thought doesnt mean that the MAJORITY of these people arent happy.....Im sorry you guys arent happy, we lived in Colorado for 5.5 years before going home to NY and let me say it was the dumbest thing we did, well leaving Colorado wasnt but coming back was....however with the cirrcumstances the way they were we had to come back....Once we leave NJ im not looking back.....I know what my expenses will be and basically they are 1/2 of what they are here in NJ and dh's salary is more than he makes here....and the fact that its a nice quality of life for our children who arent happy here and for us its NOT all financial its mainly wanting and needing a change for our family....Good Luck to you and your wife with whatever decision u make...

[BrianH1970]

Originally Posted by NJmomof2

Brian, Your entitled to your opinon however, I have to disagree with u that the percentage is EXTREMELY high in general of people who love it there, all the people we know dh knows from work and so on love it there have been there quiet a few years now, and arent realtors and my friends arent realtors there either, and with that yes there are alot of realtors on the boards however THE PEOPLE on the board not the realtors basically gave us so much information good bad and indifferent but because one cant find a job OR one DOESNT like it there or somones expensese are higher than they thought doesnt mean that the MAJORITY of these people arent happy.....Im sorry you guys arent happy, we lived in Colorado for 5.5 years before going home to NY and let me say it was the dumbest thing we did, well leaving Colorado wasnt but coming back was....however with the cirrcumstances the way they were we had to come back....Once I live NJ im not looking back.....I know what my expenses will be and basically they are 1/2 of what they are here in NJ and dh's salary is more than he makes here....and the fact that its a nice quality of life for our children who arent happy here and for us its NOT all financial its mainly wanting and needing a change for our family....Good Luck to you and your wife with whatever decision u make...

Just keep in mind that this state taxes the daylights out of your pay check (on top of the car/property tax on top of the clothing tax on top of...). You can come down here making the same amount of money as you did up north, even more, and yet find yourself living behind. It's happening to us. One guy I know who works for a bank was able to live somewhat comfortably near the Jersey shore on that one income. He comes down here, exact same rate of pay, and is now looking for a second job and he's not the only one. And it's stuff like this that I'm trying to tell people. Many of us, myself included, who were able to live comfortably up in New Jersey aren't able to down here. I'm just trying to put all of that aspect in a nicer way. If the guy who lived near the Jersey shore knew about this board had the opportunity to voice his opinions about the financial situation, his language insofar as his feelings for the state would most likely get him banned.

I don't know how to separate the regular folks on here from the realtors. They both sound exactly the same and that's what makes me wonder who's really who. After actually living here, I put more stock in the people who actually do say, "it's not what it's cracked up to be". I'm seeing it first hand and it's truly not.

And I admit that I was fooled by the hype. NJmom I believed the NC hype too. The funny thing is that we all talked the exact same talk that you guys are. Word for word. We were the ones saying about how much better it's going to be down here, how much cheaper it's going to be, the wide open spaces, the friendlier atmosphere. You're repeating every single thing we all said. I have a great amount of respect for the people on this board, particularly those who are willing to take the step to move here. It's an enormous leap. I have no reason to mislead anyone or steer anyone the wrong way. I certainly have no reason to lie to anyone lest I risk falling into the "troll" category (I'll save that for some other board ). All I know is that a bunch of us came down here at the same time with the promise of a much better life. After seeing the real NC there's a bunch of us now saying, "you know what, we made a mistake" and are on the verge of heading back.

[south.charlotte&union]

Hi Brian,
First let me qualiify this by saying I am a realtor in NC, but at the same time I want my clients HAPPY, whether or not they choose to move. I have had several potential clients decide NOT to move, and honestly I think everyone has to make what they feel will be the best decision for them and their family.

That being said, we relocated from NY in 1998. We had a very nice income in NY. In order to afford a small house (<1600 sq. ft.) in a nice area both my husband and I had to work full-time, with our children in daycare. We decided to move for lifestyle reasons, and also because my youngest son (at that time about 1 yr. old) was having a very rough time in daycare. We just decided the stress of the baby in daycare and getting sick a lot was not worth it. We moved, and I became a stay-at-home mom. My husband was able to support the family with one income. We were able to afford a nicer house in a very nice area. Our kids are outside almost year round and have the kind of childhood I remember -- playing outside most of the time, every so often going from house to house with their friends. Wherever they happen to be at lunchtime is where they get their peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and then on to the next. I can't even imagine going back north -- but again, this is my perspective only. For me and my family it was absolutely the right move. But I do agree it is not for everyone.

Best of luck to you whatever you decide

[crystalblue]

cheaper COL!!!

[BrianH1970]

Originally Posted by south.charlotte&union

Hi Brian,
First let me qualiify this by saying I am a realtor in NC, but at the same time I want my clients HAPPY, whether or not they choose to move. I have had several potential clients decide NOT to move, and honestly I think everyone has to make what they feel will be the best decision for them and their family.

That being said, we relocated from NY in 1998. We had a very nice income in NY. In order to afford a small house (<1600 sq. ft.) in a nice area both my husband and I had to work full-time, with our children in daycare. We decided to move for lifestyle reasons, and also because my youngest son (at that time about 1 yr. old) was having a very rough time in daycare. We just decided the stress of the baby in daycare and getting sick a lot was not worth it. We moved, and I became a stay-at-home mom. My husband was able to support the family with one income. We were able to afford a nicer house in a very nice area. Our kids are outside almost year round and have the kind of childhood I remember -- playing outside most of the time, every so often going from house to house with their friends. Wherever they happen to be at lunchtime is where they get their peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and then on to the next. I can't even imagine going back north -- but again, this is my perspective only. For me and my family it was absolutely the right move. But I do agree it is not for everyone.

Best of luck to you whatever you decide

I know what you're saying and I'm sure you want your clients happy. However I wouldn't expect any realtor to bad mouth NC (or any other state for that matter) the way some of us on here are. I'm not trying to single you out, I'm just saying that it's truly not the best opinion to go by when they say "come on down" with dollar signs in their eyes. Deep down I don't think realtors want to drive potential business out of their town/county/state. It's the same that a supermarket probably won't tell their customers to go elsewhere because they can get a better deal. I'm posting based by what we're going through and what we're seeing others go through right now. My problem is that you can just tell that these words are being completely dismissed. Kinda like "it can't happen to me".

Look around the board. There are locals here who are brave enough to say, "We don't want you here". For every one who posts like that on here, who knows how many are down here living with that very same thought. That translates to a better way of life for people from other states (well, let's be honest, the north)?

All I'm pointing out is that what I see on this board and what I see in real life is a study in contradictions. I would love to be able to recommend that people move down here. Given the status of the way things are now, then look ahead 10-15 years, there's absolutely no way I could ever recommend North Carolina. And this is coming from someone who has absolutely no gain one way or another.

[Richard Martin]

It is sad that you and your friends are having such difficulties but of those people how have moved here that I've spoken to personally I can tell you that it's not typical.

My wife and I moved here from MD almost 11 months ago and we're already ahead of the game here. Maybe the 7 years we spent coming here first and researching led us to pick the right area, I don't know.

That someone could move to NC making the same amount of money as they did in a state with higher costs of living and not be able to pay their bills here makes no sense. My property taxes and county fees per year in MD were high enough to pay my NC property taxes on my home plus an additional lot totaling 3.8 acres and my vehicle personal property tax for 2 years. My vehicle tags alone in MD were close to $500 to renew.

The county in MD just announced another sewer and water rate increase on top of the one the one they got last year.

Wanna build a house? Better ante up $40,000 for user fees and sewer hookups.

BGE is the electric company where I moved from. This coming July they're going to raise their rates to over 20 cents per KW hour. Right now I'm paying 11.02 cents for the same electricity.

Want to rent an apartment? Better find $1200 a month for that 1 bed/bath place.

It goes on and on. Where you lived may not have been as bad, I don't know. What I do know though is my wife and I are very happy with the decision that we made to move here.

If you'd like to come and meet me to assure yourself that I'm not a realtor you're more than welcome to.

[Yorkiegirl16]

I was part of a relocation from NJ to NC. About 20 or so from my company moved to NC late last year. We couldn't wait to get away from NJ, the high rents and taxes, the congestion..all that stuff we were all too familiar with. Oh, the joy when our transfers were going through- the hugs, kisses, congrats- yep that better life was coming our way ! Here it is ! I have seen the euphoria of being transfered along with the stress and heartache of moving. Then the early weeks of adjusting to the big smiles of how little they were paying in rent compared to NJ. How much more space they had in their homes compared to NJ. Yep the good life was finally theirs...until the weeks turned into months and then that dreaded reality set in..

NC takes out more taxes so the paychecks weren't as big. But that was ok since the cost of living was cheaper...but being taxed upon taxed made us realize that we weren't gaining as much as we thought. Wanna go up and see the family? Things like birthday parties, anniversaries...be prepared to shell out about $240/round trip in airfare- not including taxes. Want to take that drive..get ready to sit behind the wheel for 10 hours and pay for gas and tolls. Now the same people are asking "are we really getting ahead?" Of course, maybe some people are willing to forgo that and the twice or three times a year get together works for them. More power to you. But to those of us who have ties with our families and friends- for us- that just won't do.

Moving from the northeast to the south is more than just a jump to a less expensive style of living. It is a huge decision. I wish I had listened to the co-workers who elected to stay in NJ and ride out the layoffs. Everyone in my office thought they they were getting the last laugh as they drove down the NJ Turnpike. Yet only one person- states that he is "content" with his move. Everyone else is talking about leaving when their one year commitment is over.

Now, the pivotal difference might be that we were part of a relocation and we in essence are tied down to NC for a year. I'm guessing that if that commitment wasn't hanging over us, we might be in better spirits. I'm not sure there. But, if I had to do it over and believe me I wouldn't. I'd never relocate on a company's dime. I'd do it on my own money and terms. But that's a another topic.

I've been living here less than six months and I'm already seeing the development in the area- some new traffic lanes and strip malls. Not to mention the bulldozers that are ready to plow down the next group of trees. Where is everyone going to go when NC turns into NJ?

I wish everyone one the best of luck with their decision. I hope it works out for them better than it did for us. Whatever you decide, PLEASE don't take it lightly. The looks of the area and lower cost are just two small facets of a MUCH bigger decision.

[Miker2069]

Originally Posted by BrianH1970

I know what you're saying and I'm sure you want your clients happy. However I wouldn't expect any realtor to bad mouth NC (or any other state for that matter) the way some of us on here are. I'm not trying to single you out, I'm just saying that it's truly not the best opinion to go by when they say "come on down" with dollar signs in their eyes. Deep down I don't think realtors want to drive potential business out of their town/county/state. It's the same that a supermarket probably won't tell their customers to go elsewhere because they can get a better deal. I'm posting based by what we're going through and what we're seeing others go through right now. My problem is that you can just tell that these words are being completely dismissed. Kinda like "it can't happen to me".

Look around the board. There are locals here who are brave enough to say, "We don't want you here". For every one who posts like that on here, who knows how many are down here living with that very same thought. That translates to a better way of life for people from other states (well, let's be honest, the north)?

All I'm pointing out is that what I see on this board and what I see in real life is a study in contradictions. I would love to be able to recommend that people move down here. Given the status of the way things are now, then look ahead 10-15 years, there's absolutely no way I could ever recommend North Carolina. And this is coming from someone who has absolutely no gain one way or another.

Brian, you said what you feel and experienced very well, with that said you're not going to be labeled a troll or banned here. The forum is based on a civil disucssion, many of the threads offer point/counter-point discussions.

You are among a lot of people who are here and are happy to be in North Carolina, or who are preparing to move here and are excited about that. Those who are not happy with NC are here to, there just aren't that many on the forum. I've been a solid member here for about a year, so I've seen this discussion many times, and normally the discussion goes sour when someone (either pro or against NC) says something like "...you just don't understand...". I'm not saying you are there, but, that's typically how it ends up. What happens is that every post they make is some form of that, and they post it in many threads (thereby going off topic) and then assume they are being singled out when a mod closes or deletes it.

Probably the best advice I've ever seen is a simple statement- "do your homework."

I can somewhat relate to your feelings in that I was very disenchanted with Boston for a variety of very legitimate reasons- in fact my very first post here (as some have reminded me) communicates several frustrations. However I found it wrong of me to tell someone they shouldn't move to Boston because *I* was done with it. I don't think that's the right answer either.

It reminds me of a friend who always told younger single guys, "if you want to stay happy, don't get married and don't have kids...". We all got a little chuckle out of it, but while his marriage was bad, the entire institution isn't flawed. In fact the advice should have been "do you homework, it's a big decision...".

So again, just do the homework, and draw your own conclusion.

[NYer]

Moving, especially moving hundreds or thousands of miles, is traumatic, no matter where you are going. Sometimes it is hard to figure out what is responsible for one's feelings about a place- the place, or the move itself.

I have had friends back north say I am Negative when I talk about their moving here. I explain that some things are quite different, and you will be facing new challenges. One man's peace is another mans' boredom. You have to be up to it. Maybe having lived in western Mass & the UK prepared me for changes, or maybe it taught me that there were different ways to live a civilized life outside NY & LA!
The worst complainers I have met compare this place to their old place & frankly that is a no win situation. They only see what they don't have, not what they do have instead, and they complain that something is a weak copy of what they had. Often these are corporate relo families or serial relocators. I'minformed, you are right, there are tons of them. When I first got here I didn't understand your perspective b/c I was only meeting people up here in WF. (I have met the complainers mostly in Cary, not so much out in Wake Forest.)
Here in WF I have met people who relo'd by choice, 10, 15, 20 years ago. We talk about things in town, how things are, how we want them to be, who we should call in town, how to get involved, etc. That is the stuff of real life.

I would not go back to Long Island. It was not better for us there. It is better here. Not perfect, but better.