Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I've gotten a few 'Bless yer heart's over the years, most often in jest. I use it in my screen name because sometimes it is obvious that I am not a Southerner and maybe I can avoid the occasional "You're not from around here, are you?" if I announce myself as a Yank up front.
Yes, I understood that you were a Yankee who understands that it's just a term, for teasing maybe, but nothing serious And "Bless your heart" is way overexaggerated as being an insult--it DOES get used as a genuine sympathy/empathy as well. But, I can tell from your astuteness that you're aware of this too.
I was actually surprised at how welcome I felt. I had these ideas about southerners like:
1. They never got over the Civil War and still dislike us somehow
2. That too many of us were moving down and diluting their culture
3. That we're not perceived as "good decent" people the way southern people might mean it.
So I'm VERY pleased with how many people have made me feel right at home. I'm still very much the midwesterner, but I see it as like being in another country, kind of. The south is still America, but it's....different. Can't say I mind it at all.
I was actually surprised at how welcome I felt. I had these ideas about southerners like:
1. They never got over the Civil War and still dislike us somehow
2. That too many of us were moving down and diluting their culture
3. That we're not perceived as "good decent" people the way southern people might mean it.
So I'm VERY pleased with how many people have made me feel right at home. I'm still very much the midwesterner, but I see it as like being in another country, kind of. The south is still America, but it's....different. Can't say I mind it at all.
The reason you are accepted and that you are surprised as to what you found is - you recognized that what you had "thought" about Southerners was based on the prevalent stereotypes that Southerners are pretty much sick of - yet seem to be very ingrained in the minds of the rest of the country. That's the first reason.
The second reason is - you are obviously not a person who feels the need to "prove" you are more sophisticated, intelligent, etc. than every Southerner you run into. And you are not derisive and condescending - and compare everything that is different from where you lived previously with a negative tone.
I loved the midwest and would move back in a heartbeat. However, things WERE different. Having grown up in NC and having to endure the often quite insulting treatment I saw from "yankees," (and yes, that was a MINORITY of newcomers) I was smart enuff to embrace the differences and keep my mouth shut until I figured out "the lay of the land." I made friends, adjusted and loved the new traditions and expectations (social as well as business) that I found in the midwest.
If newcomers would be as astute as you have been - they would find that there is one "stereotype" about the South which is true - "southern hospitality." Those who arrive and state that they have never experienced that phenomenon need to take a good hard look at themselves. There is always a reason why - and that reason most likely can be tied to the attitude they brought with them when they arrived here.
MACKINAC: glad you made the move - and I hope you find NC to be a place you can put down roots and enjoy being part of your community.
I am from NJ and yes, I complain often about many things in the south (drivers, school system, rudeness from people in stores, sweet pizza sauce) What I complain about is nothing shy of what Southerners complain about when they go up North (no biscuits, the absence of sweet tea, having to go the the grocery store and then go to the liquor store for beer, neghbors not waving, no state fairs). However, Yankee is thrown around so often down here that I have just started to refering to those throwers as Confederates. We Northerners are not that bad and I think that a lot of he kick back is the fear of a threat. Many northerners are moving down south and changing things...bringing the comforts of home with them. It is progress and even though different will not wipe out southern culture...so Confederates calm down, enjoy the savory pizza sauce, use your pleases and thank you's, stop driving on the highway as if you were in NASCAR, and we Yankees will learn to eat biscuits instead of bagels for breakfast, drink sweet tea instead of ShopRite lemon flavored tea, eat turkey legs at fairs, and buy a case of bear with the bread eggs and milk.
Fear of the unknown on both sides of this tired , old , decrepit , diatribe. One of too many that I've traversed during my tenure in this forum. I can't believe counterparts still have this 'us versus them' mentality in this century!! Even friends get scolded by moi when I hear them speak rubbish such as 'the Mexicans take our jobs' , 'all women everywhere on Earth are the same' , vice versa for the aforementioned , just basically closed minded ramblings of those buried in their comfort zones. As far as comments about geographic origin , I have yet to encounter anything of the sort mentioned here. As far as I'm concerned , I could care less if you hail from Bellerphon or Boston , as long as mutual respect is standard , everyone should get along well with no problems. If anything , a diverse makeup of beings or species , intermixed with understanding that we as homo sapiens are sharing this planet together , and senseless , childish namecalling and bickering will inevitably lead to a shared demise!!
I live in Brevard, NC, which is a place that has a ton of move-ins. Now, I'm not against them as they've helped bolster our local economy since all our major industry was shut down(thank you Mike Easley). However, the problem that most natives have with the move-ins around here is that they want to get into politics here and try to make things the way they were where ever it was that they came from. Which begs the question...If things were ran so perfectly where you lived, why did you move? I cant understand the desire to move in and immediately think you are qualified to run for office in a place that you know absolutely nothing about.
The only other thing I dont like is that generally Ive found move-ins to be somewhat arrogant and somewhat rude(almost a "I'm better than you" attitude). Granted, this could be just a difference in where people come from. Probably nothing more than the fact that Northerners and Southerners express themselves differently.
This is an age-old question that EVERY NC native finds himself thinking on a rather frequent basis. Why, indeed...?
My husband (nc native) asks me (nyc native) that all the time. And I tell him, New Yorkers are natural complainers, it doesn't matter where we are. And of course it is only natural to compare to what you know, that is why we compare everything to NY. Then there is also that "the grass is greener mentality" which we soon find out is not. For me NC is ok, but if I knew what i know now, I would have stayed in NYC or chose NJ or MD instead. One thing about New Yorkers is that we always keeps it real and tell it like it is. We say what we mean and mean what we say.
Even though Jeff Foxworthy is hilarious, he has done a disservice to southerners. Not all are rednecks or have his accent or say" git er done" like Larry the Cable Guy! LOL
When I first arrived here about 32 years ago I thought the civil war was either still being waged or that some people had not gotten the message that the war had ended. The other thing was I don't think they agreed that the North had won the war. But over the years since I did not try to burn the fields cause any bodily harm or take any prisoners I have had no problems. The fact that I also happen to be an African American had me a little worried but my neighbors have always been just that neighbors. I had always lived in intergrated neighborhoods so this was not new to me; but when we moved in an found that we were the only black family in the close surrounding area I think we were a shock to the neighbors.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
And "Bless your heart" is way overexaggerated as being an insult--it DOES get used as a genuine sympathy/empathy as well. But, I can tell from your astuteness that you're aware of this too. 
I am from NJ and yes, I complain often about many things in the south (drivers, school system, rudeness from people in stores, sweet pizza sauce) What I complain about is nothing shy of what Southerners complain about when they go up North (no biscuits, the absence of sweet tea, having to go the the grocery store and then go to the liquor store for beer, neghbors not waving, no state fairs). However, Yankee is thrown around so often down here that I have just started to refering to those throwers as Confederates. We Northerners are not that bad and I think that a lot of he kick back is the fear of a threat. Many northerners are moving down south and changing things...bringing the comforts of home with them. It is progress and even though different will not wipe out southern culture...so Confederates calm down, enjoy the savory pizza sauce, use your pleases and thank you's, stop driving on the highway as if you were in NASCAR, and we Yankees will learn to eat biscuits instead of bagels for breakfast, drink sweet tea instead of ShopRite lemon flavored tea, eat turkey legs at fairs, and buy a case of bear with the bread eggs and milk.
). However, the problem that most natives have with the move-ins around here is that they want to get into politics here and try to make things the way they were where ever it was that they came from. Which begs the question...If things were ran so perfectly where you lived, why did you move? I cant understand the desire to move in and immediately think you are qualified to run for office in a place that you know absolutely nothing about. 
