Moving next month.. meeting new friends? (Richmond, Arlington: townhome, buy, school)

[Teebyrd86]

Hey! I am a 23 year old single guy moving to the area next month. I am working in Reston so I am probably going to be living out in the burbs, thinking of either Ashburn or Herndon. I am moving from a relatively small town but grew up in Richmond so I sort of know what its like living in both small and large towns. I am very outgoing and seem to make friends easily. My worst fear is moving there and not meeting anyone (I am sure everyone faces that issue when moving to a place where they know no one). I have heard that people keep to themselves there and dont like to be bothered. What are your thoughts on this? If you have been in this situation how did you overcome this when you moved here? Thanks!

[nvared]

I think if you involve yourself in meet-ups, hobbies involving other people or getting outside your apt., going to church, take a class, whatever you like to do, you'll be fine. There's a lot of young people who are interested in meeting people and having friends. Sure, there will be some people who aren't interested or think they have enough friends or whatever, but don't let that "people keep to themselves" thing be more than a generalization and let it scare you. There's a lot of potential friends out there in this this area.

[TheseGoTo11]

Originally Posted by Teebyrd86

My worst fear is moving there and not meeting anyone

don't worry, you'll meet people in Ashburn, but they will be hauling the kids to soccer practice or the nearest chain restaurant

if you're 23 and at least a moderate extrovert, you'll be happier closer to DC

[The Dissenter]

Originally Posted by Teebyrd86

Hey! I am a 23 year old single guy moving to the area next month. I am working in Reston so I am probably going to be living out in the burbs, thinking of either Ashburn or Herndon. I am moving from a relatively small town but grew up in Richmond so I sort of know what its like living in both small and large towns. I am very outgoing and seem to make friends easily. My worst fear is moving there and not meeting anyone (I am sure everyone faces that issue when moving to a place where they know no one). I have heard that people keep to themselves there and dont like to be bothered. What are your thoughts on this? If you have been in this situation how did you overcome this when you moved here? Thanks!

You are defintely going to want to check out the Orange line in Arlington. I hear it is the place to be for young professionals. I get to find out for myself since I start a new job there in two weeks (Ballston.)

I've made my feelings known on the quality of people in Northern Virginia (in a few words; not very good) but sooner or later you'll run into a few folks worth having in your life.

[TheseGoTo11]

Originally Posted by nvared

I think if you involve yourself in meet-ups

I went to a meetup, and it was like somebody called for an evacuation of mother's basements throughout Northern Virginia. If you're comfortable in social settings where you're not your World of Warcraft avatar, don't recommend meetup.

Unless the OP can afford a nice apt in Arlington, I'd recommend a group house closer in than Ashburn. Co-workers and roommates are easiest ways to break into social circles. Guy on a softball team is not likely to introduce you to all his friends, but a roommate will.

[Poopy00]

Do something, Learn something, Share something, Change something - Meetup.com

I can't recommend it enough!

[Yankeesfan]

Volunteer. Best way to meet people who care about the same thing(s) you do.

[SteelCityRising]

I'm a single 22-year-old male who moved to Reston a little over three months ago from Pennsylvania (the land of no jobs besides Wal-Mart), and thus far I've had no trouble networking to make friends. Some advice?

1.) Join a house of worship that appeals to you (assuming you are someone who practices organized religion). I just joined Good Shepherd Lutheran Church along the Reston/Herndon border and have been amazed by how welcoming and friendly everyone has been to me. I was invited over to the townhome of a wonderful younger newlywed couple and treated to a great dinner while we chatted for over two hours. The pastor sent me a handwritten card welcoming me to the church and telling me that he actually knew my own former and recently-belated pastor back in PA. A woman at one church service took the effort to reach out to me, and I was inspired to learn that her husband and I share the same hometown of Scranton. I've received an e-mail inviting me to join the church bowling league as well as an e-mail inviting me to join the church's young male Bible study. I'm just recently starting to re-connect with my faith after a year or two of rebellion/questioning, so this has really been a blessing for me.

2.) Join a club/group related to your interest. For example I'm an avid runner and have been considering joining the "Reston Runners" to network with literally hundreds of people from Reston who share a passion for the sport. I also see numerous "herds" of cyclists when I run along the Washington & Old Dominion Trail in Reston, so it's obvious there are some cycling groups here as well. I've been searching around for a hiking enthusiasts group (or may start one myself via Facebook if I can't find an existing one).

3.) Meet your neighbors. In my complex people DO generally keep to themselves, but this might not be the case everywhere. I introduced myself to both the guy next to me and the woman upstairs, and while both have been "distantly" polite to me (i.e. they'll wave and smile as I drive by) we still haven't done anything socially yet. I'm planning a board game night later this month at my home for just a few close friends, and I'm hoping to extend the invitation to both of my neighbors as well as more of an "ice breaker" (to be honest I still don't even think the woman upstairs has met the guy next-door to me!) Another thing I'd like to do at some point is organize a "Relay for Life" team either for my complex or for my church (or both and then just defer one to someone else willing to head it up).

4.) Be AGGRESSIVELY friendly. When I go running I try to smile and say "Good Morning" or "How ya doin?" to everyone I pass, and even though most in Northern Virginia will NOT return the greeting if I make even one person feel better to have been acknowledged that day then it's a good thing.

5.) Go online to CraigsList, MeetUp, Facebook, etc. and post an ad/start a group for something that interests you. Believe it or not there are just as many brand new faces in NoVA who are in the same boat as you---new and worried if they'll be able to make friends. Many might just be too afraid to take the first step, but if they can be a "follower" to your lead, then you'll amass friends in no time.


If that doesn't work I'll still be your friend! I caution you though that I'm gay (a butch one though). It's sad that I still have to offer up that "disclaimer" in the 21st Century, but this still freaks out a lot of straight guys for some reason or other (at least it did in Pennsyltucky!)

[SteelCityRising]

Originally Posted by Alanboy395

I've made my feelings known on the quality of people in Northern Virginia (in a few words; not very good) but sooner or later you'll run into a few folks worth having in your life.

I've actually sensed that people here tend to be overall a bit socially distant and/or awkward due to the transient nature of the region. Many are probably hesitant to go out of their way to make new friendships for fear that these people will be all but a memory in two years when they relocate elsewhere as slaves to their career. In my own complex I see U-Haul trucks in and out CONSTANTLY as a revolving door of sorts. Many who moved in earlier than I did still haven't changed their out-of-state license plates yet, which makes me wonder if they haven't done so because they are regretting their moves here and are trying to make it easier to move back. I grew up in a Rust Belt city where most people grew up and died within five miles of their original homestead. It was easy to make friends there because people generally knew the thought of "losing you" if and when you moved away was slim. Now down here with the revolving door of people who descend upon the region like locusts, suckling up the high salaries, and then fleeing elsewhere for a better quality-of-life than what can be found here has probably just left many wary of being outwardly social.

There's also an odd social dichotomy here. A couple of months ago many on this sub-forum flamed me for posting a thread admonishing people for not returning my friendly greetings as I passed them on the sidewalks during my runs. I was told, more or less, that I was being insensitive to introverted people who were too afraid to say "Good Morning" back or that people were just too "busy" to say hello. For an area whose economy is BASED around social interaction to get ahead I highly doubt that every other person in NoVA is that shy that they can't even acknowledge you as you pass them on the sidewalk. That was and still is an argument I didn't buy from the people on this forum, and I will continue to think that people who choose to turn their heads another way when I smile and say "Good morning" to them while running at them head-on are rude.

Overall though I really don't think the people here are that bad. Are they more materialistic than in many other areas? Without a doubt. Are they all too "busy" to say "hello" when you pass? Apparently yes. However I've met enough GOOD people to outweigh the jerks here---the bottom-feeders are merely more visible but when you look deeply enough you'll find a region replete with some great kind-hearted souls.

[cdmurphy]

Originally Posted by ScranBarre

Many who moved in earlier than I did still haven't changed their out-of-state license plates yet, which makes me wonder if they haven't done so because they are regretting their moves here and are trying to make it easier to move back.

They're probably just trying to dodge personal property tax.

For the OP - I've lived in NoVA for 11 years. Aside from some college friends (I went to Georgetown, and a lot of people stay in this area after school), most of the people I hang out with are coworkers and neighbors. As others have mentioned, there are a lot of ways to get to know people here - be open-minded and friendly, seek out your own hobbies and activities, and you'll do fine.