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No but did you ever go down one of those big slides that are in those tubes and then you splash down really fast and your bathing suit ends up over your head practically and you wonder why a bunch of people are standing at the bottom watching you crash land. I didn't realize it before I went up there. I never did that again.
Ha! No, it's never gone over my head, thank God...that's soooo funny. But I have gone down those steep waterslides and gotten that rugburn wedgy from my bathing suit (that suddenly decided to chicken out hide up my ass)! That's painful.
Ha! No, it's never gone over my head, thank God...that's soooo funny. But I have gone down those steep waterslides and gotten that rugburn wedgy from my bathing suit (that suddenly decided to chicken out hide up my ass)! That's painful.
When I was 16, I use to go to the beach every day. My swimming suit was one of those that had metal rings on the sides of the top. Well, occasionally, one of the sides of my bathing suit would wiggle out of its ring, leaving my boob hanging out. One day, I got caught in a rip-tide. About a minute after I figured out I was in trouble from the riptide, I also discovered that my bathing suit had come undone from that dang metal ring! Great!! So now, not only am I drowning, but I also have my bathing suit top floating around my neck!! I can't concentrate on swimming out of the riptide, cause I'm too concerned with holding on to my top! And what do I see right in front of me? The big concrete pillars of the pier coming right at me!! I get thru them ok, but on the other side are 2 cute lifeguards waiting to rescue me. Geez! When they get to me, I'm flailing around, & they tell me that I can stand up now, because the water is only waist deep where I am. I have to tell them I can't stand up cause my top came off & is hanging around my neck. They left laughing, as did the crowd that had gathered on the beach to watch the "rescue." I was sooooooooooo embarrassed!! I can laugh about it now, but I sure wasn't laughing then!!
I was 12 or 13 and a friend and I were going to Cedar Point, I had never been there before. Anyhow I was short. Well you know how you have to be a certain height to ride some rides,well I had a concern of not getting on some of the rides,she tells me at Cedar Point if you look older you can ride even if you are short. So the makeover begins...make up and toilet paper,yeah you can guess where the toilet paper went,of course she didn't need it,I did
Well after being on a wild ride I get off and notice I'm all crooked and lumpy and toilet paper is coming out of the top of my shirt, I could have just died.
LOL.. Glad I can laugh about it now
Okay, you're gross and very calculated on how you disperse your grossness, just like my husband....ugh, is it all men?!
I have a fart one too, it's embarassing, but not because of me. It's embarassing because it just goes to show what price we women have to pay for having immature husbands! About a month ago, my husband came home laughing hysterically with one of his stories that he usually names "You wanna hear something fk'd up?!" So he proceeds to tell me that he and his buddy stopped at the local pharmacy for cigarettes. As they're walking he had to "bust ass" as he so cleanly puts it. Well, it was long, loud and bad...and it apparently collided with a little boy who was walking past him with his mom at that exact moment. The little boy got upset (wouldn't you?) So now I'm supposed to laugh, which I'm not, because I'm thinking "did I marry him or give birth to him". Anyway, a couple of weeks go by and I go to shoprite with the kids...the older ones are walking ahead, little one's in the cart I'm pushing. We're in the soda aisle and a woman, maybe mid 40's is arguing with her elderly mother about why she always drinks so much soda. I'm passing along all happy and dandy. My one daughter turns around to tell me something as I come passing behind the old lady. Who in turn, "busts MAJOR ass" at me. It was long, loud and bad. My eyes popped out of my skull, I started running with the cart, the kids were laughing at me and the woman was yelling at her mother "stop it, mom, just stop it, you're disgusting!". So I told my husband and he thinks it's awesome that I "took the fall" for him. Gross!!!!!!!!!
My dad used to embarrass us when we were kids by lifting his leg in public places and letting them rip. He did it once in a grocery store when my sister was next to him and a woman was coming who heard it. She looked at my dad with disgust, but then he tossed a quarter at my sister and said: "Becky! I didn't think you'd do it!".. my sister burst into tears.
Anybody ever have a boob pop out of a bathing suit? I did, at the beach, when a wave pushed a boogie board into me and knocked me down, while my dad was videotaping us swim.
Yes I have had my boob pop out in my swim suit.... but speaking of swim suit disasters.... I have another childhood story. When I was 14, I went to my first co-ed party, and it was with my youth group at church. Well.. I was a bit of a late bloomer, and I had only been dealing with auntie Flow for a few months at that time. Well of course, right before the beach party, Auntie Flow came to visit. So my mom then introduced me to the wonderful world of tampons.
So back to the party. Well, there was a boy that came to this party, and I had a major crush on him. So we all started swimming around in the ocean, and when I came out of the water...... my tampon string was totally hanging out of my bathing suit. The boy I liked, along with a few of his friends were like, "Um, you have a problem..."
I was like,"Huh?" They actually had to point towards my "Area" before I looked down, and understood what they were saying. I was humiliated.
I ride horses. I was about 13 or 14 when an evil mare that I used to ride turned and bit me as I was getting on. The bite was on the side of my breast. I will never forget being in the emergency room with my left breast bleeding, throbbing, and on display for the doctors and nurses.
Of course there was a tremendous amount of swelling. For several days I was quite lopsided and my classmates were less than kind about the whole thing.
My dad used to embarrass us when we were kids by lifting his leg in public places and letting them rip. He did it once in a grocery store when my sister was next to him and a woman was coming who heard it. She looked at my dad with disgust, but then he tossed a quarter at my sister and said: "Becky! I didn't think you'd do it!".. my sister burst into tears.
That's awesome....that is so something my dad would do to me or my husband would do to my kids...great story!!
So now, not only am I drowning, but I also have my bathing suit top floating around my neck!!
You actually made me laugh out loud!!! I don't know if that's how you thought of it at the time it was happening, but your wording is just hysterical!
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Pixie
