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The fact is, that room is in my house and unless you are paying rent on it, I have every right to go in there. Even if they were paying rent I believe I would have the right to walk in there. Snooping through their things, taking things or otherwise messing with their things, no... but do not tell me that I am not allowed in there.
When I was young Saturday was house cleaning day. Nobody watched cartoons, nobody went *anywhere* or did *anything* until the house was clean. That included my bedroom and I'm sure if we had had more than one bathroom, it would have included that as well. This started when I was two years old, and by the time I was a teen there was no question about what you did on Saturday mornings.
Perhaps it's too late for your teen(s) to learn, but telling them there is no television, video games, texting, iPod, etc., until the rooms are SPOTLESS might work. Who knows?
20yrsinBranson
Funny. That brought back flashbacks to my own Saturday mornings growing up. I'm not sure why it didn't continue with my own, but it probably had a lot to do with the never-ending sports schedules. Those weren't around when I was a kid either.
I do pick my battles. As I said, I'm ok with closing the door and letting them deal with their own messes. If the clothes don't make it down to the laundry room, they don't get washed.
I wonder sometimes what kind of husbands they will be. I would hate to think I'm raising boys who won't pull their weight around the house. They do yardwork, but not much in the way of cleaning.
Well this explains a lot. From the time I was old enough to wipe a polishing cloth on furniture, til I moved out of the house, my room had to be thoroughly cleaned weekly, and kept tidy daily. Food in the bedroom? Are you kidding me? I didn't even have a TV in there. The bedroom was our sanctuary, where we were removed from the rest of the world to either sleep, read, or get dressed in privacy. Even when I had sleep-over parties, we all slept on the living room floor. My room was MY room. My sanctuary, my peace and quiet, my escape. And I was expected to treat it with the respect it was due. Clothing was picked up - if I was being lazy I'd shove it under the bed or in the closet but you'd never see a single stitch of clothing left out for anyone to see. Clothing that I put away, was put away neatly, folded properly and arranged in their correct drawers.
I would polish the furniture twice a month, dust it every week, and run the dust mop through on the floors once a week as well. When I was done with my room, my sister and I would alternate weeks - one week she did the bathroom and I'd vacuum the upstairs hall, living room, and sweep the kitchen and polish the furniture and the bannister. The next week we'd switch.
These weren't "honey please give mommy a hand?" requests. This was just how it was done. We were brought up knowing that it's how it was done, there was no consequence if we refused, because we didn't refuse, because it never occurred to us that refusal was an option.
Kids these days are spoiled rotten. And as I said - that explains a whole lot.
From the time I was old enough to wipe a polishing cloth on furniture, til I moved out of the house, my room had to be thoroughly cleaned weekly, and kept tidy daily. Food in the bedroom? Are you kidding me? I didn't even have a TV in there. My room was MY room.
To me, it doesn't sound like your room was your room at all.
One thing that helps keep the whole house cleaner is no shoes in the house, either.
Clothes on the floor occasionally? Whatever.
That's how we are...no shoes, no food in other rooms (although that gets bent ie popcorn during movies, younger ones walking around with cheerios )
Our lives are too full and busy right now for me to be inspecting bedrooms (especially my teens) on a daily basis...on most days I am lucky if laundry is in hamper and bed is semi-made!
While I enjoy a clean and organized house...in the grand scheme of things what does it really matter? Before you die are you going to say "dang, I should have spent more time cleaning"???
Txtqueen is a grown adult. Her room should be private for the most part.
If she was a teen it would be different.
Even with my teens I am respectful of their space. I knock on doors. If I need to go into their things I let them know in advance....However, I would balk at being told that I am not "allowed" into a particular part of my house. I do think that respect is a two way street. I expect respect from my kids and I respect them.
Although I would not bust into my adult child's room and poke around in her personal belongings I would bristle at being told that I am not "allowed" in there. It sounds like something a 12 year old would try.....
The fact is, that room is in my house and unless you are paying rent on it, I have every right to go in there. Even if they were paying rent I believe I would have the right to walk in there. Snooping through their things, taking things or otherwise messing with their things, no... but do not tell me that I am not allowed in there.
That's how it hit me also. Even with my teens I don't go through their stuff unless I am doing something for them (like helping them pack for camp). But it's my house, I am allowed anywhere I want to go.
Well renovating, perhaps you weren't taught to take pride in your efforts and to value general tidiness. Perhaps you weren't brought up to care whether or not your mattress accumulated a nest of bedbugs, or whether or not ants invaded the dirty dishes under the bureau. Maybe it didn't bother you that there was enough bacteria on your dresser to feed a forest full of of flies for a month. I was taught to care about these things. Wasn't spotless, but we didn't have a maid. If we wanted clean clothes, we knew where the washing machine was. If we wanted clean linens, we knew how to strip and make our beds. If we didn't want to trip over miscellaneous crap hiding under mounds of dirty clothes while trying to get from our bedroom door to our beds, we knew damned well how to take care of it, and we were expected to care enough to do so.
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