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I have 2 kids in middle school, ds 14 and dd 13. Both have lunch accounts, School lunch is $2.30/day, that doesn't include a drink, so, relistically it should come to $3/day for lunch.
DD spends about that every day that she buys lunch. Sometimes she packs a lunch, I leave it up to her, we all like a variety and sometimes timing just doesn't work out. But she's responsible with her account.
DS, on the other hand, acts like its a never ending buffet. He spends about $5-$6/day. goes over there and eats breakfast, when we provide breakfast here. He says he isn't hungry then. He says "his stomach isn't awake". Well, we've told him he doesn't eat breakfast there when its offered here, but he does, anyways, and also load up on extras for lunch.
We pay through Pams Lunchroom. Every transaction cost $1.95, that's per kid. I'm sick of getting a notice every time I check my emails that ds account is low, although dd is quite in the black. That transaction fee adds up, too.
I could just pay the school direct, but then we don't have the detailed accounting Pams gives us. this way I know exactly what he's doing. Also, when we paid the school direct, they would "rebalance" between family members, thinking they were doing everyone a "favor".. Without notice or my permission, they would take from dd account when ds account was low. Then she wound up short. We had a terrible incident a year ago, where dd account was negative because they dipped into it for ds. she got to the checkout line, they threw her tray away in front of her, then gave her a stale cheese sandwich and a glass of water. Just how did that benefit the school? Its not like the money was put back in their account.
I raised #ell about that, I doubt they would do it again, that was another school district, anyways. I don['t know if Pams lunchroom does that, and can't get a straight answer out of them.
In this school, we can set a daily dollar limit on expenditures. I don't plan to discuss the matter further with ds, just set a limit, $3/day, that's enough for a tray and drink. No breakfast, no extras. Also, all he can get is water or milk for 60 cents, he keeps buying Hawaiian punch, which is 75 cents.
We get paid 1x/month. we will put enough in the account to last for this month for $3/day, and set a $3/day limit for ds. Imagine his surprise when he buys breakfast, which we can't put a stop on. Ok, then he goes to buy lunch, and finds he doesn't have enough. Hmmm.....might cause him to rebalance the next day.
They have breakfast food at home, and are more than welcome to pack a lunch, I have lunch stuff on hand. Like I said, dd sometimes does that, sometimes buys, but she's responsible. Ds isn't. I don't even plan to discuss the issue with him, just set up roadblocks with the school and Pams so he bumps into his own actions, I'm not arguing any more.
Our budget is extremely limited, I do everything I can to cut corners, but ds takes very good care of himself, to #ell with us. let him find out what happens when you overspend, you bump into "insufficient funds".
He has exactly 25 cents left in his account right now. I will NOT discuss it with him. I will offer for him to pack a lunch, even help if he's stuck for ideas, if he decides not to, and refuses breakfast here at home, he's going to be in for a big surprise when he goes to eat breakfast and finds his account is too low.
Problem is, the school will run a tab, they've done that before, also, so does Pams. Poor little child, we can't let him go hungry. But they could throw away my daughter's tray in front of her, to #ell with her, but poor little ds is so abused, no lunch money, oh dear me!
Hey, I don't have to fund a lunch account at all. a brown bag with a pb&j, some carrots, raisins, a bottle of water, go tell DFS all about it!
OK, I didn't read your entire post. If he isn't being responsible with the account and using it for what you have approved, don't let him use it! Brown bag every day for a few weeks, then maybe give him another chance. there has to be a penalty when they do something wrong. Otherwise, why would he stop???
OK, I didn't read your entire post. If he isn't being responsible with the account and using it for what you have approved, don't let him use it! Brown bag every day for a few weeks, then maybe give him another chance. there has to be a penalty when they do something wrong. Otherwise, why would he stop???
LIke I said, if you read the post, if he runs negative they take out of dd account,or run a tab. there seems to be no way to stop him from doing what he damned well pleases!
I intend to speak with the shcool about it and make them understand I fund both kids accounts equally. There's enough in there for what they need. If one kid is responsible and the other isn't you do NOT balance one with the other, nor do you run a tab, nor do you throw away the other child's lunch (funny, they couldn't run a tab on her but could on him).
This time, I mean it---I do know people in the media, a little feature article on how the school handles lunch accounts would be of interest,
LIke I said, if you read the post, if he runs negative they take out of dd account,or run a tab. there seems to be no way to stop him from doing what he damned well pleases!
I intend to speak with the shcool about it and make them understand I fund both kids accounts equally. There's enough in there for what they need. If one kid is responsible and the other isn't you do NOT balance one with the other, nor do you run a tab, nor do you throw away the other child's lunch (funny, they couldn't run a tab on her but could on him).
This time, I mean it---I do know people in the media, a little feature article on how the school handles lunch accounts would be of interest,
close it out! there has to be a way to do that! Do they carry cards? take it away. There has to be a way to give you some control over it. Talk to the school.
Do not feed him breakfast tomorrow morning. Go down to the school tomorrow. Time it for the period right before his lunch. Have DS pulled out of class. When DS walks into the office looking all peeved and says, "What do YOU want?" take DS by the elbow and steer him over to the front desk. Tell the nice lady at the front desk that you will not be allowing the cafeteria people to "run a tab".
When she says, "That's not my job" you say, "My son and I will wait here until you find the person who has that job." Wait for that person. Do not allow DS to sit. If he starts to speak you hold your index finger to your lips. When person who can help you comes over you tell her, using your outside voice, that DS cannot keep within the family budget so he must now face te consequences. Tell her DS will be packing a lunch for the rest of the semester.
Kiss DS on the cheek and turn and walk to the door.
As you leave, call out over your shoulder that the "no tab" starts "TODAY".
Maybe your son is not just a spender, maybe he has big needs as far as food is concerned. Many boys this age need to eat a lot, and whatever he can get with 3 dollars a day is not enough to keep him full...
I think you should try to talk with him again, and see if the problem is not just the fact he has big needs! Then, figure out together what you can do within your budget to make things better.
Your posts says you can put a $3/day spending limit. So I'm confused as to what the issue is - why do you need to go talk to the school. Either force the $3 a day, or don't give him a lunch account and make him take a brown bag lunch.
My son was making his own lunches by middle school..... make him do it himself and tell him that's his choice. Brown bag or nothing. Not sure why you'd give him the option if he's that irresponsible.
I could just pay the school direct, but then we don't have the detailed accounting Pams gives us. this way I know exactly what he's doing. Also, when we paid the school direct, they would "rebalance" between family members, thinking they were doing everyone a "favor".. Without notice or my permission, they would take from dd account when ds account was low. Then she wound up short. We had a terrible incident a year ago, where dd account was negative because they dipped into it for ds. she got to the checkout line, they threw her tray away in front of her, then gave her a stale cheese sandwich and a glass of water. Just how did that benefit the school? Its not like the money was put back in their account.
Wait...in your other thread you said this happened when she was 8 or 9, a lot longer then last year.
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Problem is, the school will run a tab, they've done that before, also, so does Pams. Poor little child, we can't let him go hungry. But they could throw away my daughter's tray in front of her, to #ell with her, but poor little ds is so abused, no lunch money, oh dear me!
You just moved to a new school district this year so why not discuss it with the school rather then assuming that this district is the same as your old one?
Quote:
Hey, I don't have to fund a lunch account at all. a brown bag with a pb&j, some carrots, raisins, a bottle of water, go tell DFS all about it!
You're are absolutely right and I think this is a good idea. No one is going to report you to DFS for sending your child with a packed lunch rather then buying them a hot lunch everyday.
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Brown bag every day for a few weeks, then maybe give him another chance. there has to be a penalty when they do something wrong. Otherwise, why would he stop???
