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I don't get the "She's 18 so she is an adult" line. Yes legally I guess you are an adult at 18 but very few 18 year old kids are true adults, as in taking responsibility for their own lives, bills, shelter, food, etc.
I still believe if somebody living in my house, eating my food and taking financial aid from me and my husband, then they should not do something I don't approve. 18 or not. That's the way it rolls at our house.
Yeah but you have to pick your battles too... i mean honestly no one is gonna throw their kid out if they defy them over a piercing.
Thats pretty harsh, and rather judgmental.
My daughter turned 18 in Debember, has a couple of piercings, and 1 tattoo. She just got hiring by Lockheed-Martin, and is on the fast track to go into their engineering college program, so she doesnt have to spend her college money.
She doesnt smoke, do drugs, or drink, and has had the same boyfriend for 3 years.
Yeah, shes going nowhere.
My GOD you are right how could you have allowed that to happen?
True - if they're living in your house, eating your food, and being supported by the parents, they really aren't living like adults. Following fads and imitating others makes them even less adult.
I didn't tell mine they couldn't get tattoos because they were underage, I pointed out their motives to go along with the latest fad and that imitating and following others is uncool, that's just being a wanna-be. I also pointed out that they're very likely going to change their tastes and preferences at some point, they may want to work as professionals some day, and the trailer park look could interfere with that.
You don't know they are following fads either. Maybe on Wednesdays nights at 9 or 10 you should tune in to tlc and watch la ink. You would be amazed her personal many tattoos are to people. Not everyone is getting things because they are a fad. And as for jobs....my brother has 6 tattoos and is a doctor. My uncle has 3 and he is a senior engineer for ibm. So YOU were saying?
Some parents want their children to stay at their house a few years past 18. Saying "As long as you live in my house, you live by my rules" is a sure fire way to have a kid take you up on the "here's the door." YOU might be totally happy watching your 18 year old hit the streets before being ready to take care of him/herself OR you might think your child wouldn't head out the door. But there are parents who know better than to pressure their children into moving out too soon. There's such a thing as choosing your battles. Just because a parenting style is different than yours doesn't make it wrong.
If an 18 year old that is dependent on their parents for support is willing to throw that away to have a face piercing or whatever, then that's a decision that they make. "Do I want to remain home with my needs met until I am able to move out on my own or is this piercing so important to me that I'm willing to completely alter my lifestyle to have it?" As an 18 year old, they should be able to weigh the pros and cons of a potential decision and decide which is more important to them. Putting them into the position of having to make that decision does not make the parents ogres.
I don't think it's a question of parents being happy to see their 18 year old put something like this ahead of their greater well being and leaving the home but again, it's a choice that the kid gets to make. If they don't like the house rules, they are free to set up their own home and do whatever they want.
I can understand that some parents say "It's not a big deal to me" but the fact is that it is a big deal to some parents. You may not understand or relate to that in any way but that is the other parents' reality and as aghast as you are that they would battle over such a thing, they would be aghast at those who let their kids do this at that age. It's all about how you run your home.
Go look at any Hi-Tech corporation out there and the people who work there, better than 25% have tattoos, piercings or both, I've worked on teams where everyone had a tattoo or piercing, and teams that went out and had their project logo tattooed in various locations.
I think this is more common than most people want to believe. I would put the percentage up higher if I go by what my husband has said, and the Hi-Tech people he's around. And I'm not talking about just a small tattoo somewhere. Many are heavily tattooed - just cover them up.
I'm sure if one doesn't understand why someone would get one, then they'd probably rather not know that their doctor, accountant, etc. have one, if they consider them trashy. It's easier to say that about the people who have them up their neck and down their leg.....
And of course there are those who get them to follow a "fad" - just like people wear certain clothes, listen to certain music, eat or not eat certain things. There will always be followers and I guess their lesson will be learned someday if they wish they hadn't done it. Who cares....
There are things people do that I don't understand why they would do that to their body - allow them selves to get morbidly obese, smoke, etc..... Even though everyone thinks they are smart enough and wise enough to know why someone chooses to do something because they have all the answers, you don't, unless you personally know that person.
If an 18 year old that is dependent on their parents for support is willing to throw that away to have a face piercing or whatever, then that's a decision that they make. "Do I want to remain home with my needs met until I am able to move out on my own or is this piercing so important to me that I'm willing to completely alter my lifestyle to have it?" As an 18 year old, they should be able to weigh the pros and cons of a potential decision and decide which is more important to them. Putting them into the position of having to make that decision does not make the parents ogres.
I don't think it's a question of parents being happy to see their 18 year old put something like this ahead of their greater well being and leaving the home but again, it's a choice that the kid gets to make. If they don't like the house rules, they are free to set up their own home and do whatever they want.
I can understand that some parents say "It's not a big deal to me" but the fact is that it is a big deal to some parents. You may not understand or relate to that in any way but that is the other parents' reality and as aghast as you are that they would battle over such a thing, they would be aghast at those who let their kids do this at that age. It's all about how you run your home.
Of course you as the parent should have the last say. But i think people mean by it not being a big deal is because it doesn't hurt anyone. What you get is parents who don't personally like the look feeling their kids shouldn't either. Yes it is your house and your rules...but do you really want to damage a relationship over something so silly?
I'll never forget this guy I liked when I was in high school. He was a few years older, out of high school. He had all the appearances of a bad guy--long hair, motorcycle, the whole nine yards. But he was such a nice guy. OMG, super intelligent. Very intellectual. Treasurer of a regional astronomy club. Was doing programming on a PC at home in the late 70s, early 80s. Most people didn't have computers back then, much less knew how to do programming. He was a published writer and photographer. He traveled the country on his motorcycle for months at a time. I really admired him for his passion.
My parents judged him by appearance. They didn't want me to have anything to do with him. I remember telling my father about all of his accomplishments. They were very impressive accomplishments considering he was only 21 years old. My father responded, "Why does he chose to look like he's a loser?" I had no answer.
He's the CEO of a major corporation today. Darn shame my father wouldn't let me date him.
Priceless story!
Why is it people seem to fear what they dont know about?
My GOD you are right how could you have allowed that to happen?
I'm SUCH a bad Mom, lol.
BTW, she designed her own tat, its based on Hindu wheel of life designs.
I dont think I even knew what Hindu was at that age.
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