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absolutely lawmom. I also think you have to try things in order to see if it works for you and your family. since having kids I've worked full time, worked 1/2 time, and stayed home full time. It has taken years, but I finally have an idea of what works best for me. Now that both kids are in school, I'm going crazy from boredom, and will hopefully find some part time work soon. Without that option, I really think I'd lose my mind!
Answer me this: When was the last time someone praised a mother for her hard work? Does her
family and society ever thank her for her 24/7 paidless job?
I've worked full time both with and without children and I've stayed home when my children were young and I've worked both flex and part time for the last 15 years or so....I'm able to do this (all of it, including the staying at home - which was MY CHOICE) because of the changes brought forth by feminism. I believe you're looking extreme examples and not how women's day to day lives have changed (mostly for the good) as a result. Can you vote? Can you own property in your own name? Is your name, as an equal partner, on your mortgage/deed? Can you have a hysterectomy without your husband's approval?
As for praise? To be honest, how much praise do any of us (men included) receive on a daily basis? Regardless of the work we perform or where we perform it.
Rkb: Answer me this: When was the last time someone praised a mother for her hard work? Does her
family and society ever thank her for her 24/7 paidless job?
Are you serious?
You are supposed to take care of your children (well people who have them) so why should you be praised for doing it?
Thats like praising someone for not breaking the law. Silly.
Quote:
Feminism is not about making a choice.
Thats just plain old BS. Feminism is about women not being forced in roles they do not want. If you choose to be a homemaker, congratulations, feminism worked for you. It was never about making people be nice to you, it was about opening doors, and since you are a homemaker no one closed that door to you.
Quote:
Whenever you meet someone, they ask you what you do. When I answer homemaker, the person looks at me as if I was an alien and asks me tons of questions, trying to convince me "to do something with my life". How is that a choice? We are constantly told we are worthless without a job. And yes, I think we would be better off without feminism, at least the mainstream feminism that we know of. If anyone knows any good pro-housewife feminist book, I'd be happy to read it.
Suck it up and deal with the CHOICES you have made. Feminism does not mean anyone has to agree with your choices, just that you are FREE to make them.
And I am in a field I love that was predominantely dominated by men, I am thankful everyday for the brave women who stood up and said that I have choices. Just because you feel that people do not value your choice does not mean the right to have them is wrong in anyway.
You really need to separate the FACT that you have choices available to you due to feminism from the reality that society does not particularly value your choice. The lack of societal value for your choice is not the fault of feminism but the natural consequence of a society that values productivity and employment outside the home.
I am happy to hear husbands praise their wives! Very good indeed. I've read a recent study saying that SAHMs are depressed and it seems to me and other commenters about it that we feel SAHMs are simply not praised enough.
It is wrong to be mean to working moms, I totally agree! Mommy wars have to end. Yes, I guess I get a
lot of comments for being a stay at home wife, which appears to be more put down than being a SAHM. We are not rich by any stretch but live simply and debt free. But just as the working wife was put down for working in the past as they were the minority, I and other homemakers are now put down for being at home and that is not okay either. I also do not wish to paint all feminists with the same brush! But yes, because of its history and origins (Karl Marx in the 19th century), I personally won't choose the word feminist to describe myself.
I'm currently a SAHM, I've had a successful career and I will again, but right now I am choosing to stay home to raise my kids. I can make these choices because of the sacrifices of generations of women who came before me. No one has ever responded to me the way you report being responded to.
While there was certainly a time historically when there was pressure to "do it all" working full-time and parenting, the pendulum seems to have swung to a more moderate place. It seems like in your experience, you haven't seen that moderate place, but it does exist.
Feminism (not just the snapshot in time you refer to, but the entire history and offshoots of various feminist schools of thought) is entirely about opportunity and choice. I'm not sure where you got the idea that it was not.
AGREED!!!
And to be perfectly honest there is a world of difference between staying home to raise and take care of one's children and choosing not to work period.
To all the SAHMs I appreciate what you do and I KNOW it is not easy to do.
I am also honest enough to admit I personally have no respect for people who are educated and choose to not work (even if it is just volunteering somewhere) even when they have no children.
I am happy to hear husbands praise their wives! Very good indeed. I've read a recent study saying that SAHMs are depressed and it seems to me and other commenters about it that we feel SAHMs are simply not praised enough.
It is wrong to be mean to working moms, I totally agree! Mommy wars have to end. Yes, I guess I get a
lot of comments for being a stay at home wife, which appears to be more put down than being a SAHM. We are not rich by any stretch but live simply and debt free. But just as the working wife was put down for working in the past as they were the minority, I and other homemakers are now put down for being at home and that is not okay either. I also do not wish to paint all feminists with the same brush! But yes, because of its history and origins (Karl Marx in the 19th century), I personally won't choose the word feminist to describe myself.
You are supposed to take care of your children (well people who have them) so why should you be praised for doing it?
Thats like praising someone for not breaking the law. Silly.
well, a little appreciation is always nice, but how often does anyone get praised for doing any job, paid or not?
the previous poster seems PO'ed that no one appreciates her staying home and taking care of the house. Who is there to appreciate it besides her husband? who would care?
Hmm so before feminism, women went to prison because they worked? Yes, I have a choice that is quite unpopular nowadays thanks to feminism, you just affirmed that. But how does that work exactly? That I have the right to be insulted?
I am for women's rights, 100%, and if I were there then, I would fight for them. And if feminism didn't happen, I would fight for them in a different way now. Feminism is not the only answer.
I laugh at the right wing comment! I am very liberal.
Feminism is not about making a choice. Whenever you meet someone, they ask you what you do. When I answer homemaker, the person looks at me as if I was an alien and asks me tons of questions, trying to convince me "to do something with my life". How is that a choice? We are constantly told we are worthless without a job. And yes, I think we would be better off without feminism, at least the mainstream feminism that we know of. If anyone knows any good pro-housewife feminist book, I'd be happy to read it.
Good grief, I certainly hope there are not too many books like that. Perpetuating the them vs. us mentality is just what women do not need. To me a feminist supports the notion that women deserve equal social, legal, educational, economic, and political rights. For me it also means lifting women up, and not cutting them down.
And to be perfectly honest there is a world of difference between staying home to raise and take care of one's children and choosing not to work period.
To all the SAHMs I appreciate what you do and I KNOW it is not easy to do.
I am also honest enough to admit I personally have no respect for people who are educated and choose to not work (even if it is just volunteering somewhere) even when they have no children.
You just proved my point.
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