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I disagree with the OP's posts and felt a need to clarify that being a housewife as a valid position.
Personally, I see nothing wrong with being a housewife. (Though I think there needs to be a better term.) Probably because of my religious and cultural values. And the more I think about it the more I understand what you've been saying. Not sure why people in "real life" feel the need to tell you it's "wrong". But if you and your DH are happy with how you live, more power to you. I'm all in favor of being happy.
I never said it wasn't a perfectly valid choice, what I said and I continue to state is, it is not as valuable to society or has any intrinsic value in my opinion at all
I highly value and teach my daughter as well, to give back to society. My career choices, my lifestyle choices and the majority of my hobbies are connected to the belief that being a PRODUCTIVE (which does not mean monetarily or consumptive in the slightest) member of society. Therefore I, personally and as a family, do not value the choice by anyone (man or woman) to take care of a house and spouse as your primary activity.
And fyi, I cook at home from organic (frequently home grown too) food, do my laundry at home and hang in on the line, clean my house etc and I still work full time.
Kudos to you for being able to do it all and do it all well. I don't know many who can maintain that kind of balance.
Considering the unemployment situation I do think that soemone choosing to opt out of work because they can, leaving a job open for someone else who really needs one is valuable to society as a whole.
Kudos to you for being able to do it all and do it all well. I don't know many who can maintain that kind of balance.
Considering the unemployment situation I do think that soemone choosing to opt out of work because they can, leaving a job open for someone else who really needs one is valuable to society as a whole.
Seriously?
Anything to validate someone's lifestyle I guess.
That being said it is complete possible to be more productive than keeping house without taking someone's job. I know multiple women whose "work" is completely of the volunteer variety.
Eastwest: I agree with you! Happiness comes in many different forms and there is no one size fits all. When people go out of their way to criticize, I just wonder if it is just a need to validate their own choice or to try to tell other people how to live their lives. Just because I stay at home doesn't mean I think everyone should choose it!
Dew: Thank you! The word "husband" comes from "hus", meaning house and "band" means "bound". So the husband meant house bound in medieval times, which is similar to housewife. I've read interviews with the author of "Radical Homemakers" and that is what she explains: in fact, her husband is a homemaker as well. They live off their farm with family members and the profits from her books. The term housewife has been given a bad name over the years and many housewives prefer to be called homemakers.
My maternal grandmother was a 50's housewife. They lived on a farm, then in the city and finally settled down in the 'burbs. They lived on less than $25K a year but owned their own house outright and had no debt. They went trough the war and were happy and contempt with a simple life. My grandma showed me how to grow vegetables and was so proud of her victory garden! She didn't fit the stereotype at all, actually being a huge boss at home, lol! My mom is sort of the same way: she is quite bossy and rules the house. She is a Physics engineer with an MBA and chose to stay home.
I don't expect praise, but when an opinion discriminates, it is not right. Just as gender, sexual, class and racial discrimination are wrong. For the record, I want to clarify that I am not against day cares and fully support stay at home dads. Just as working moms have the choice to work does not give a free pass for other people to insult them. It seems like some of you are saying it is okay to criticize stay at home moms but never okay to criticize working moms. It works both ways. Free speech and choice does not give you a free pass to put down others. I could make a lot of money but choose to be a homemaker.
That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying you are upset because people criticize your choice, yet you have criticized the choices of others. In your first post you made a comment about daycare which I took to be a jab at working moms. That is no different than people criticizing you for staying at home.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYSinger
I don't live on LI anymore, I should update my profile!
Dew: I live in a very liberal area where more than 80% of women work. But even when I lived elsewhere, women were very quick to insults toward me. I don't know, I was raised to be polite and be respectful. Chatting with other housewives over the years has shown me that they get the same treatment I do, whether they have kids or not.
Dorthy: Thank you! It is what I've been trying to explain in better words!
I think we've all been hurt somewhere somehow and sometimes that means we will think our choice is the better one. I disagree with the OP's posts and felt a need to clarify that being a housewife as a valid position.
There is no excuse for being impolite, but I'm guessing that what they are thinking is that working women have to do everything you do AFTER they get home from an 8-10 hour work day. who knows what the context or tone of their comments was, or what you said that they were responding to. If you happen to have compared what you do to what they do, they may have gotten defensive.
I think the choice to stay home for a childless spouse is just fine, although I wouldn't praise them for doing what working people already do on top of their jobs (and many are raising kids, to boot.)
Dew: Thank you! The word "husband" comes from "hus", meaning house and "band" means "bound". So the husband meant housebound in medieval times, which is the same as housewife. I've read the author of "Radical Homemakers" and that is what she explains: in fact, her husband is a homemaker as well. They live off their farm with family members and the profits from her books. The term housewife has been given a bad name over the years and many housewives prefer to be called homemakers.
I need to read that book. I'm beginning to have a sneaking suspicion I may be one. I'm going to ponder this and explain more once I think about it.
Rkb: I have explained what I said and understand that my first statement could be misunderstood the way I wrote it. Believe me, I don't think day cares are bad. I just stated that neither the mom nor the dad is present during day care hours. Does not make it good or bad: it just is. It is a family choice. A daycare provider does her job, but no matter how good she is, children love their mommies more than anyone, that is what I meant. A happy working mom will be happier with her kids if that's what fulfills her, I do and will not criticize her choice! Just like there are happy SAHMs. But are daycare providers and house cleaners more productive to society because they are paid?
A good mom comes in many different shapes and forms, and aren't inclusive to being a SAHM and vice versa. Gosh, I hate black and white thinking! I should probably edit my post because I honestly feel no judgement toward working moms and I don't want my post to be taken this way. I do not think at all either that I think working moms (and working dads!) aren't good parents.
Dew: I need to read it as well! Being more self sufficient and frugal are great skills to learn!
Formercalifornian: Lol! It's true.
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I don't know many who can maintain that kind of balance. 
