Being a stay-at-home mother (boys, activities, fighting, hair)

[Momma_bear]

Originally Posted by springfieldva

When my kids were little, I used to dream about the day that they were both in school and I would have time to go to the bookstore, sit in the cafe with a cup of rich coffee and read all by myself....just me, ahhhh.

Most days, I still don't have the time to do that. Life still gets very hectic at times.

Life is still hectic at times here also. Just for an example, it's currently 10AM. I have been up since 6:45. I have been to two stores, started soup, and I am on my first of 4 loads of laundry. I also have a pile of college application papers that I need to keep organized. Once I figure out how to keep them organized (I am thinking accordian file) my son will be able to do it. But he asked me to help him figure out how to organize the papers as they are overwhelming him.

My youngest needs a pair of black slacks for orchestra. My middle has an audition on Saturday and he needs his clothes ironed for that. My husband and I are going to see our oldest's football game in Orlando (3 hour drive) and my father is taking care of the younger kids so I need to figure out their schedules in advance.

I am not always as busy as I am this past few days, but there are times when I am very very busy. Even when I am busy I usually have some time to sit down, read a book, post here, or watch tv but it's not like I sit at home watching the grass grow for the 7 hours my kids are out of the house.

[DewDropInn]

Originally Posted by lkb0714

Sorry but I have no idea what TSP is. ?? Thanks.

It's a powdered soap. You use it to clean floors and wash walls. Have you ever washed your walls? Great exercise. You start washing your walls and you can forget that gym membership.

Last night I added up the hours of the things I did when I was a true Radical Homemaker and I subtracted the hours spent on taking care of my kids and my dad. Even without kids it would have been a very full day.

Since we lived on one income we didn't have a gardener, a dishwasher, any household help, repaired the cars ourselves, painted the house on our own. Did pretty much everything by ourselves. As far as time goes just pulling the weeds is, easily, an hour a day. Baking bread, picking and cleaning vegetables, making everything from scratch. If you do these things, and do them well, it takes a great deal of time.

(I didn't figure in outside community work which can be considerable.)

And I didn't even have to milk cows. Which I know how to do. You have to both squeeze and tug.

[Kibbiekat]

Originally Posted by lkb0714

Maybe its an issue of house size as well?

My house is only 1200 sf, so it take maybe an hour a day to clean. Tops to bottom.

So then what? I guess I could make a fancy lunch and breakfast, there goes another hour. And the gym or surfing for another hour, so what would you do with the last 6 hours?

All I can picture for people with no kids, is women having lunch with friends, playing tennis, and getting their nails done. Sorry to generalize. I'm sure that is not accurate for many. If i stayed home for the rest of my life, I'm sure I'd volunteer somewhere. Aside from that, everything else I'd want to do would cost money. Scrapbooking, house projects, gym memberships, classes at the JC, even playing tennis, getting your nails done, and having lunch all cost money. We certainly don't have the money on one income for me to be doing that all day. Plus, I'd feel guilty for having nothing but free time while hubby is out working all day.

[formercalifornian]

You mean it's not okay to sit around watching re-runs of Glee, eating bon-bons and posting to City-Data? Uh-oh!

[Momma_bear]

Originally Posted by rkb0305

All I can picture for people with no kids, is women having lunch with friends, playing tennis, and getting their nails done. Sorry to generalize. I'm sure that is not accurate for many. If i stayed home for the rest of my life, I'm sure I'd volunteer somewhere. Aside from that, everything else I'd want to do would cost money. Scrapbooking, house projects, gym memberships, classes at the JC, even playing tennis, getting your nails done, and having lunch all cost money. We certainly don't have the money on one income for me to be doing that all day. Plus, I'd feel guilty for having nothing but free time while hubby is out working all day.

I think this is where a family's individual financial situation comes into play. I think being at home would be very difficult if there was no extra money to do some fun things. My husband likes having an at home wife. It makes it easier for him to just work. When we were both working we had a lot of stress when a child was sick, when kids needed to be picked up from school early, had something at school in the middle of the day, etc....It is less stressful on both of us that I am available to do those things. However, if we were having trouble paying the bills then it would still be stressful.

So-I really do think that each family knows what it needs. I just can't see how people can decide that a person is not worthy of respect simply because they do not hold a job.

[Dorthy]

I agree Mommabear. I also think that even without extra income it can work since I can think of tons of things to keep me busy without spending money.

[DewDropInn]

Originally Posted by Momma_bear

So-I really do think that each family knows what it needs. I just can't see how people can decide that a person is not worthy of respect simply because they do not hold a job.

So do I and neither can I.

[Dorthy]

Originally Posted by formercalifornian

You mean it's not okay to sit around watching re-runs of Glee, eating bon-bons and posting to City-Data? Uh-oh!

That sounds like a great day to me!

[haggardhouseelf]

Our youngest just started middle school last week and this was my cue to start looking for jobs. I want to transition from being full-time SAHM and housewife to working mom. And working wife.

So first day of school - both kids in school - I get online and start applying online and writing down places to go in person to apply. I'm updating a resume and and checking job websites... boom. Power goes out.

Power comes back on the next day - had to go through and clean out the fridge - but something happened to our internet.

Spent day two waiting for the cable guy... waiting waiting... finally shows up. Internet fixed 20 minutes before it's time to walk out the door and meet son at the bus stop.

Son - not used to riding the bus to middle school PLUS we've moved so we're in a new neighborhood, which is why I'm still walking to meet him for now - gets off at the wrong stop on his way home from school. He's lost and confused and I'm freaking out wondering why he didn't get off the bus! Where's my kiddo? Bus driver doesn't know where he is... total freak out moment.

Thank Goodness for cell phones - son turns it off while at school and finally after a few minutes walking around the new neighborhood remembers to turn his cell phone back on and calls me. Found kid. World set to rights.

Next day: dryer breaks. Call Sear's. I hate dealing with Sears. They transfer you three or four times and each time you're put on hold forever. Like I have nothing else better to do than sit on hold. I love speakerphone.

The repair man comes out next day ... waiting for repair man... waiting waiting. He gets address wrong... what the heck. He's late.

They always give you those like 4 or 5 hour service windows. He might be there at 8am... or 1pm... or anywhere in-between. Thank Goodness I hadn't found a job yet!

Looks over dryer... says he fixed it... leaves.... I start a load... dryer not fixed. Call Sears again... on hold for 45 minutes... transferred to someone else.... on hold again 25 minutes.... same process... repair guy will come back tomorrow between 10 and 4.

Sheesh!

Meanwhile: tons of laundry and no dryer. I'm hanging clothes and things everywhere I can think of to dry them - on a cool wet Oregon day. Soccer practice later and son has no dry soccer socks. Other son needs jeans and I'm running low on clean underwear. This sucks. UGH!

Next day... repair man has to reschedule. OMG. Seriously?

Meanwhile - throughout all this - dealing with schedule crisis at older son's high school. The school only gave him three classes and refuses to add anymore core classes. Son has two computer classes and 1 math class all term. For the whole year he's only scheduled 2 core classes - all others are electives. WTH? Dealing with public schools is a constant fight where we live. I hate it. IT is a full-time job. I spend hours at the school every day for the first four days of school.

If I'm not waiting for repair men, I'm at the high school fighting to get my son a decent schedule.

The schedule issue is still not resolved... and my dryer is still broken.

So here I sit... broken dryer. Clothes hanging around the house everywhere. Oh how I'd love a drying rack or clothesline right now. Waiting for repair man. Emailing and playing phone tag with high school scheduling people and other high schools we are checking into because the public high schools where we live stink and I hate them and they suck. We applied for tuition reduction and scholarship to private school but we were declined because they said hubby makes too much money AND (get this) we contribute too much to our retirement accounts. Lame-O.

I'm hoping my youngest hasn't got lost on the bus. The cat just puked on the carpet in my bedroom and I'm out of Shout. My tea's gone cold and I have only managed to fully inquire and apply to four jobs, and haven't heard back from any of them yet. (I'm impatient.)

Yes. Having kids in school gives a stay at home mother SO MUCH more free time!

I mean I didn't even mention the small stuff - scrubbing toilets, getting hair out of the clogged-up drain, grocery shopping, cooking, packing lunches, making breakfasts, dishes (OH and our dishwasher rack broke and doesn't slide smoothly anymore and has become a real PIA... AND... AND... AND.... we have had ants for months that will not go away. Ants in our kitchen sink. Gross! Ugh! Honestly... the stars are messing with us! Everything is breaking. What does this mean?) killing spiders, signing papers, buying last-minute school supplies, writing checks for last minute school fee's...

OH - and our toilet broke last night - the water keeps running - and for whatever reason the little knob you turn to turn the water off to the toilet just turns and turns and won't turn off. Lovely, huh? So we're dealing with that, too.

So... screw looking for jobs right now. I have enough work to do. Sheesh!

Call me a pampered housewife if you like... but tomorrow I'm going for a pedicure.

[maciesmom]

Stress level at home as kids got older and careers got busier was exactly why I chose to move to flex/part-time for many years. Even now, with one in college and one in high school, I find this works best for our family. Besides my job I am still the one responsible for bill paying, grocery shopping, cooking, organizing, laundry and basically keeping things running in our home. We just find that works best for all of us. I could easily make that a full time job still. And, at some point, I'm sure we'll have aging parents to consider also.