Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I think what the other poster is trying to say is that people who do nothing but take care of their own homes are not contributing to society. They have a heck of a clean house, but who does that benefit besides themselves? I noticed the housewife didn't say she does any volunteer work (at least not that I recall). A SAHM almost can't get away without volunteering somewhere, whether it is in the classroom, as a crossing guard, a soccer coach, whatever, she is contributing to society. Even just being another mom, home in the neighborhood, able to watch the kids get on and off the bus contributes to society. The other poster seems to spend her days exclusively on herself and on her own home. Fine, but she won't get kudos from anyone for doing that.
Fine, but she won't get kudos from anyone for doing that.
She does not deserve kudos, but respect? Seriously? I am not saying that anyone should be put on a pedestal for keeping house but to say you don't respect someone because they do that is a whole different thing.
As for respect, if a woman CHOOSES to be a stripper or a prostitute, do you find that a "respectable" profession? If you do, that you and I are just going to have to disagree. But if you find that stripping is a waste of a woman's potential at a minimum, than I would say that I find someone using a plethora of talents solely for their own benefit to be a waste. To me and maybe not to you, and that is ok, life is about more than making your own nuclear family happy. But again, that maybe just a fundamental difference in how we approach the world. Different strokes and all. So while I fully support her right to choose whatever she wants, I bemoan the fact that we no longer have high expectations for people in terms of their "giving back".
And it is not a male vs. female thing. I expect everyone to give of themselves as they can, it is really the only way a society can succeed.
It's not what I would choose to do, and I would not be ecstatic if my daughter chose to do that...but if it truly is her choice, then so be it.
Again you are entering the competitive realm. Who's job/career is more important? I'm not going to get into a competitive slinging match with you over that fact, but suffice it to say there is a place for many and varied professions and lots in life, and I for one don't believe in quantifying them. It's that age old adage of insisting that a neurosurgeon has relatively more worth than a ditch-digger....except that a neorosurgeon cannot do his job without clean water. It's all relative, and arrogant to assign worth to peoples choices or their jobs.
I did not care for that poster charging in here with her dismissive post, but she seems to have realized how she came across. I am not going to judge her for her life choices if it works for her and her family.
I think what the other poster is trying to say is that people who do nothing but take care of their own homes are not contributing to society. They have a heck of a clean house, but who does that benefit besides themselves? I noticed the housewife didn't say she does any volunteer work (at least not that I recall). A SAHM almost can't get away without volunteering somewhere, whether it is in the classroom, as a crossing guard, a soccer coach, whatever, she is contributing to society. Even just being another mom, home in the neighborhood, able to watch the kids get on and off the bus contributes to society. The other poster seems to spend her days exclusively on herself and on her own home. Fine, but she won't get kudos from anyone for doing that.
It's not something I could ever see myself doing, my philanthropic self wouldn't stand for it, but whatever. My gripe is when people make unusual life choices (like being a housewife), then turn around and criticize others life choices, well then they shouldn't be surprised to receive a bit of backlash.
They were also the ones who taught me you respect people for what they do (and I do not mean their job) and their character, not just for breathing.
So a spouse staying home to be a full-time homemaker, even if that's what is important to the two people in that relationship, is not worthy of respect in your opinion? You feel that the spouse choosing to be a full-time caretaker/homemaker/househusband or housewife is wasting their time or not living a good respectable life?
Yet you claim you do not respect her because she has poor character. That does not make any sense to me.
Where did I say that? Because that just did not happen.
I do not know here character one way or the other. I can only judge what I have seen her write on her own, on CD.
ALL that I know is that she claims to be well educated and financially secure but despite being asked repeatedly, has stated she only takes care of her house and her spouse.
I know that she claims to have never judged or said anything negative about working mom, but a quick perusal of her other threads shows that is not true.
I know that she has implied that she was a SAHM because she works on her home, when I firmly believe that the hardest part of the SAHM is the actual MOTHERING.
I still 100% believe that taking care of a house is not remotely the same thing as raising the next generation. One contributes to society, one does not. I think, and maybe you do not, that that is an important distinction.
So a spouse staying home to be a full-time homemaker, even if that's what is important to the two people in that relationship, is not worthy of respect in your opinion? You feel that the spouse choosing to be a full-time caretaker/homemaker/househusband or housewife is wasting their time or not living a good respectable life?
Am I understanding you correctly here?
Nope. You are not understanding me correctly.
The key problem being including the word "caretaker". If you are taking care of children, an elderly parent, the neighbors kids for an hour, hell a house full of stray cats, you are obviously doing more than doing for your spouse and yourself.
If they are highly educated, highly talented, financially secure and give nothing back to anyone or anything beyond cleaning their own house?
Then yes. Absolutely.
He/she has done nothing to earn my respect. On the other hand, someone who only does for themselves and their spouse is probably not interested in the respect or well being of others.
About the dusting: I have a cat that sheds a lot, enough said! I did not mention that I also lead a community support group for women. Thank you for your compliments, I appreciate it!
Now which other thread are you talking about? I hadn't posted on CD for years! If I ever made a comment about working women, then I take them back. I don't recall what I wrote?? But I am easily going to slap myself now for my past ignorance!
I am planning on having kids, not that I need to say that. Family and home life are very important to me. Family members are more important to me than anything. My husband spoils me and I do the same in return!
It's not what I would choose to do, and I would not be ecstatic if my daughter chose to do that...but if it truly is her choice, then so be it.
Again you are entering the competitive realm. Who's job/career is more important? I'm not going to get into a competitive slinging match with you over that fact, but suffice it to say there is a place for many and varied professions and lots in life, and I for one don't believe in quantifying them. It's that age old adage of insisting that a neurosurgeon has relatively more worth than a ditch-digger....except that a neorosurgeon cannot do his job without clean water. It's all relative, and arrogant to assign worth to peoples choices or their jobs.
I did not care for that poster charging in here with her dismissive post, but she seems to have realized how she came across. I am not going to judge her for her life choices if it works for her and her family.
I understand your point, especially about the competitive nature that is pointless.
But I do want to be clear here, when I say "do" I do not mean a career. Some of the people I hold in the highest regard are women who have never worked a day in their lives.
An older woman (kids out of the house) I know from her volunteering at a place I work does more in a day for others than I do in a month, while still being primarily, a housewife. Yesterday, she came in after lunch to do some unglamorous, but very important volunteer work, she had just come straight from an hour reading to the kids at the local head start and I know she is one of those people at the foodbank on Thanksgiving. She has never earned a dime on her own but I hope to be just like her someday.
Where did I say that? Because that just did not happen.
I do not know here character one way or the other. I can only judge what I have seen her write on her own, on CD.
In post 353 you say that you grant people respect based on their character. In many other posts you say that you do not respect housewives without kids. It follows that you do not respect these housewives because of their character. You didn't say it directly, but that is how I made the connection.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714
I know that she has implied that she was a SAHM because she works on her home, when I firmly believe that the hardest part of the SAHM is the actual MOTHERING.
Agreed. But when the kids are at school most of the day it does become less exhausting. It is interesting that I find that my son's senior year of high school is the year that he is needing mom at home the most. He is very stressed out over college applications, yearbook pictures, etc...and it seeking my input on important things much more than he did when he was smaller.
Yesterday he called me in a panic during his lunch to see if I was at home (I wasn't) because he was confused about the paperwork he needed to fill out for the yearbook. Today he came home for lunch and ate with me!
Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714
I still 100% believe that taking care of a house is not remotely the same thing as raising the next generation. One contributes to society, one does not. I think, and maybe you do not, that that is an important distinction.
I think there is a distinction and that raising children is more important than having a spotless house (I don't have one of those and I do have the time). However, I do see value in each family making sure its own home/family are cared for. If more people did that there would be much less need for the rest of the people in the world to take up the slack through social services. I believe in giving to those who have less but I also believe in taking care of one's own family first.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I did not mention that I also lead a community support group for women. Thank you for your compliments, I appreciate it! 
