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I have not read all the threads and sometimes, I'm not up on things but as a mother of two (4 1/2 years apart), I see nothing wrong with 2nd or 3rd baby showers.
Don't we have enough sad events in life today? A lot of times, a happy event like this is a get together. People seem to need an excuse to get together.
When I was a child, people got together just because. My parents were social, however, the door was always open and if a child or two was hanging around at dinner time (and it was OK for them to stay - parent approved), there was always an empty chair.
If you can't afford to give, make something creative. Write a letter. You never know - what you give may be cherished more than the store bought item.
We are social creatures, we need each other, we really do. We should be celebrating each other's happinesses!! It's a good thing!
I have not read all the threads and sometimes, I'm not up on things but as a mother of two (4 1/2 years apart), I see nothing wrong with 2nd or 3rd baby showers.
Don't we have enough sad events in life today? A lot of times, a happy event like this is a get together. People seem to need an excuse to get together.
When I was a child, people got together just because. My parents were social, however, the door was always open and if a child or two was hanging around at dinner time (and it was OK for them to stay - parent approved), there was always an empty chair.
If you can't afford to give, make something creative. Write a letter. You never know - what you give may be cherished more than the store bought item.
We are social creatures, we need each other, we really do. We should be celebrating each other's happinesses!! It's a good thing!
then throw a party after the baby is born. Or, let the people who want to celebrate the birth of your baby stop by with a meal or a gift and see the baby after it is born. I don't get all this "celebrating every baby" stuff. I have never felt like "celebrating" another person's baby. I have delivered many meals for families after a birth, but I don't feel the need to attend a party.
I haven't read all the responses, but I think second showers are really tacky. I've heard the, "I think all babies should be celebrated" excuse but who are we kidding? The baby doesn't even attend the shower, the purpose of a shower is to give the Mom-to-be gifts to help with the cost of the new baby. A shower is meant to help the Mom out with all the expensive baby contraptions a first time Mom needs. If its her second baby, she should already have this stuff from her first. If its truely a celebration of the baby, have a "Meet the baby" party after the baby is born, and don't expect everyone to bring you expensive gifts.
Maybe this is where different regions/circles comes into play. What is considered expensive? At most showers I attend for first-time moms, most gifts seem to range in the $20 to $40 area, so not really breaking the bank. All of the big, pricey stuff (furniture, carseat, stroller) is typically bought by the parents, grandparents or siblings. I think the most expensive gift we received at ours was a $75 gift card from a very good friend. Most gifts were much, much cheaper than that. And that was wonderful and I was very grateful, but the big stuff came out of our pocket. For a second shower, I wouldn't do much more than a pack of Gerber onesies and a small pack of diapers.
You hit this on the head. I don't how I missed it before. We actually get TONS of those school fundraiser things. There are only 2 people I buy from as they are close friends, but people also don't bring THOSE envelopes around. It's more like "Suzie is selling ______________. If you'd like to buy, come see me". The birthdays and such, they actually walk around with the envelopes and make note of who gives or not.
This got so bad at my last office (birthdays, fundraisers, showers, etc.) that they finally made a rule that the only fundraisers allowed were for charity events. And those had to be drop off situations, like canned food, or school supplies...not a money type thing. It worked fairly well, since with the drop off type thing it's harder for busy bodies to 'monitor' who is donating what (or if they're donating at all).
I haven't read all the comments either. I know shame on me but I am adding my two cents anyway.
I think its a bit tacky to throw a full fledged shower if there is only a couple year difference between children. I freelance design and recently made invitations for a baby shower. It was going to be a second shower for this woman. Her first child is 2 yrs old, a boy and she is now expecting another boy. 50 people were invited to this shower. I told my client to let me know how many thank you cards she would need after the shower was over with. Well apparently many didn't agree with the whole second shower thing because only 10 RSVP'ed and on the day of the shower only 5 showed up!
Many years ago I worked in an office and a co-worker became pregnant 15 yrs later after the birth of her son. She was shocked. lol. We insisted on throwing her a shower. She said no that she already had a child and had a shower. We laughed and said even if she had the original baby equipment it would be considered death traps by today's standards. She was so pleased and grateful. Now that is when I think second showers are acceptable, IMO.
Honestly, after doing so many shower invites and hearing about how people set up their parties, just seems like everything is a big money grub anymore.
Not to mention, I think one of my biggest pet peeves about this is that they want the guests to fund it. You have to contribute money for the food in order to attend. If you don't contribute, you can't attend. I'm sorry, but if I was gonna throw my friend a shower, whether it a be first or fifth, I would NOT require the guests to contribute to pay for it in order to attend. If I want to throw the party, it's up to me to pay. Of course, if someone offered to help that would be one thing, but I would never expect it.
And that would be fine. Just not at work with emails sent around the office asking for donations. Not appropriate.
I don't think it's inappropriate. She seems like she has fine intentions. Like I said, if people don't want to attend/give a gift, no one is forcing them to do so.
I have not read all the threads and sometimes, I'm not up on things but as a mother of two (4 1/2 years apart), I see nothing wrong with 2nd or 3rd baby showers.
Don't we have enough sad events in life today? A lot of times, a happy event like this is a get together. People seem to need an excuse to get together.
When I was a child, people got together just because. My parents were social, however, the door was always open and if a child or two was hanging around at dinner time (and it was OK for them to stay - parent approved), there was always an empty chair.
If you can't afford to give, make something creative. Write a letter. You never know - what you give may be cherished more than the store bought item.
We are social creatures, we need each other, we really do. We should be celebrating each other's happinesses!! It's a good thing!
Very nicely put. This is how I feel as well. In the past, blankets and booties were knitted for each baby, not just the first one. I wonder if any of those women begrudged others for daring to expect a second blanket or bootie set.
I don't think it's inappropriate. She seems like she has fine intentions. Like I said, if people don't want to attend/give a gift, no one is forcing them to do so.
I think the issue is less not wanting to celebrate a new baby and more that even a few dollars for a gift compounded by all the events the workers in the office have in a year can turn into a lot of money. I have no problem with friends and family giving gifts for whatever they'd like, but the expectation for a shower is to bring gifts. IMO, that is not appropriate for a work place environment.
I think the issue is less not wanting to celebrate a new baby and more that even a few dollars for a gift compounded by all the events the workers in the office have in a year can turn into a lot of money. I have no problem with friends and family giving gifts for whatever they'd like, but the expectation for a shower is to bring gifts. IMO, that is not appropriate for a work place environment.
Well said.
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