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We follow this model also. Everyone in the family needs to help keep the household running. That is part of being a family member. The kids do not have a set list of chores but are expected to do what we need around the house. They clean up the kitchen after dinner, take the garbage out, put away their own laundry, help bring groceries in from the car, and whatever else I may need.
One of my kids drives. He drives one of our cars (we have 3). He has use of the car but it's not his car. We pay for insurance and gas. He is required to keep it clean and maintained. He is required to help us out with getting his brothers to and from school. He is required to get good grades. If he does those things we will keep allowing him to use our car and paying for his expenses. If not, then he can't use the car.
We give our kids an allowance to pay for their own expenses. We provide lunch at school but if they want to go out to eat they can use the money we give them. They get $20 per week (the older/middle). They can save it or spend it. They get it because they are part of the family. My youngest doesn't get an allowance yet.
My teens work in the summer but not during the school year. They are busy with school activities during the school year. If they were not active in school I would encourage them to work at a regular job. A job can be good for kids if they do not have other productive activities.
As far as buying things for kids, we do buy them things sometimes. We tell our kids that their "work" is school. If they do well in school (they don't have to be perfect) they usually get a reward of some sort. They usually ask for cash. They then use that cash to buy things that they want (video games, ipod, etc.). I see no harm in giving rewards for a job well done.
Some of my friends who still have young kids at home have faced repeated lay-offs lately. Money has become "tight" in other words. The kids have handled things pretty well so far because they are aware of the family finances...My Dad got laid-off at times when I was growing up or he went on "strike" when new contracts came up etc...My parents kept me informed about all of it. I knew we would be going into a "low-spending" period for awhile but I also knew it would pass too...I think it's important for kids to have some sense of the family finances. How do you feel about it?
Especially when doing community service and internships. They are unpaid jobs, after all.
I'm sure that things are probably different today compared to when I was growing up or compared to when my kids were in school...I've heard that it's hard for some college graduates to find entry level jobs in their fields when they graduate. This is where an internship might help. Or community service in their field etc...There were more job opportunities in the past. Kids could afford to "see the world" before they settled down in their chosen field for life...Anyway I'm glad that I had a chance to "dabble" a little bit so I could explore different "avenues" and "corners" of society.
Sorry I haven't been on here all day to reply to all, but I do have to work for a liveing. Up at 4am and not home most of the time till 5pm.
It seems that the more technical we get, the more disconnect we become as a family. Social networking sounds more like the children are saying to mom and dad, "you bore me, so I'm going to ignore you". And as long as parents keep giveing their kids everything under the sun, the more they're (the kids)going to expect them (the parents) to dish it out hand over fist.
And the part about the boyfriend doing all the texting to his friends instead of visiting with. She feels that it probibly stems from his parents giveing him what ever he wanted since his was an only child, thus "buy him / them everything they want as a child", and now he expects her to be like his mommy.
Sorry I haven't been on here all day to reply to all, but I do have to work for a liveing. Up at 4am and not home most of the time till 5pm.
It seems that the more technical we get, the more disconnect we become as a family. Social networking sounds more like the children are saying to mom and dad, "you bore me, so I'm going to ignore you". And as long as parents keep giveing their kids everything under the sun, the more they're (the kids)going to expect them (the parents) to dish it out hand over fist.
And the part about the boyfriend doing all the texting to his friends instead of visiting with. She feels that it probibly stems from his parents giveing him what ever he wanted since his was an only child, thus "buy him / them everything they want as a child", and now he expects her to be like his mommy.
Sorry I haven't been on here all day to reply to all, but I do have to work for a liveing. Up at 4am and not home most of the time till 5pm.
It seems that the more technical we get, the more disconnect we become as a family. Social networking sounds more like the children are saying to mom and dad, "you bore me, so I'm going to ignore you". And as long as parents keep giveing their kids everything under the sun, the more they're (the kids)going to expect them (the parents) to dish it out hand over fist.
And the part about the boyfriend doing all the texting to his friends instead of visiting with. She feels that it probibly stems from his parents giveing him what ever he wanted since his was an only child, thus "buy him / them everything they want as a child", and now he expects her to be like his mommy.
I don't get that part, what in the world does social networking have to do with someone ignoring their parents?
I have a facebook and I have a cellphone with internet and texting but that doesn't mean I ignore anyone nor do I expect anyone to give me anything hand over fist.
When I go over to visit my friend with young kids the whole family spends time on their computers. (Or cell phones.) Some play games. And some are on Facebook etc...Their big screen TV is on the whole time and turned up loud...There is very little ongoing conversation. Everyone just does their own "thing." The kids all have their own Facebook accounts and favorite games...They are nice people. They have been good to me and my son since my husband passed away last year. But it gets boring to stay at their house too long since they are all so preoccupied.
Sorry I haven't been on here all day to reply to all, but I do have to work for a liveing. Up at 4am and not home most of the time till 5pm.
It seems that the more technical we get, the more disconnect we become as a family. Social networking sounds more like the children are saying to mom and dad, "you bore me, so I'm going to ignore you". And as long as parents keep giveing their kids everything under the sun, the more they're (the kids)going to expect them (the parents) to dish it out hand over fist.
And the part about the boyfriend doing all the texting to his friends instead of visiting with. She feels that it probibly stems from his parents giveing him what ever he wanted since his was an only child, thus "buy him / them everything they want as a child", and now he expects her to be like his mommy.
Oh brother. Are you looking for a pat on the back or something?
But it gets boring to stay at their house too long since they are all so preoccupied.
Or you might try doing what I do. Join whomever is on the computer and show each other Youtube videos. (I'm considered the cool, fun adult among my nieces and nephews and their friends. We usually start with Youtube videos and take it from there. Google Earth can keep us laughing and challenging each other on geography. They're not going to give up their toys just because the boring adults are around. The secret is learning to share them. )
Or you might try doing what I do. Join whomever is on the computer and show each other Youtube videos. (I'm considered the cool, fun adult among my nieces and nephews and their friends. We usually start with Youtube videos and take it from there. Google Earth can keep us laughing and challenging each other on geography. They're not going to give up their toys just because the boring adults are around. The secret is learning to share them. )
Agree. One thing we like to do with the kids is "armchair traveling" via Google Maps Streetview. It's actually pretty fun!
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