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I think we have a lot of rational, reasonable parents on this forum. They don't agree on everything, but who does? It's easy to be affronted if you feel like you're being judged, but like it or not there ARE some awful instances of parenting on display out there. Or if that is too harsh--apparently awful instances of parenting. Pictures or videos of parents literally dragging kids around like luggage? Maybe that was a once-in-a-lifetime really bad day ... but maybe not. I'm not going to go so far as to say that person is a bad parent, and I certainly wouldn't want my worst moments on display, but I don't think it's a crazy leap to say that seems like a moment of bad parenting.
I think if we can stick to terms like "some" or "the ones I know" or "the parents I have seen," there's no problem with that. Of course problems start when people start saying that all Xs are Y.
I see what you are saying. I certainly wouldn't want my worst parenting moments seen or judged by the masses either.
I think my issue lies in the fact that people will judge an event, action, object by the absolute worst examples they can find and then extrapolate it to everyone.
Must have missed that...can't imagine why no one responded....
Seems like a great solution to me....fight childhood obesity - dump the stoller and use a harness! Get them used to walking places instead of being pushed everywhere. Added bonus - you can't nap while walking, so they'll be extra tired at naptime!And those lazy parents who use strollers to accomplish their errands when a child should be at home getting a good nap will have to go home and put the kids to bed where they should be....
In neither case does the child control THEMSELVES which really OUGHT to be the goal. Not containment.
In neither case does the child control THEMSELVES which really OUGHT to be the goal. Not containment.
No one is questioning the goal....but one does not typically attain a goal overnight, with no bumps. It is a process. And, if during that process, one has to be someplace where it isn't worth the risk if that goal has not been 100% reached, then sometimes one has to put the safety of the child (and yes, occasionally the convenience of the adult also) ahead of the concern that some random person, who does not know your individual situation will look down their nose at you and tell everyone they know (as well as people they don't) about how awful this person was and how it's so nice to know that one's own parenting skills and choices are superior.
No one is questioning the goal....but one does not typically attain a goal overnight, with no bumps. It is a process. And, if during that process, one has to be someplace where it isn't worth the risk if that goal has not been 100% reached, then sometimes one has to put the safety of the child (and yes, occasionally the convenience of the adult also)
I guess I just don't agree with this. Being somewhere or my convenience never trumps the child learning what they need to learn at a given age.
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ahead of the concern that some random person, who does not know your individual situation will look down their nose at you and tell everyone they know (as well as people they don't) about how awful this person was and how it's so nice to know that one's own parenting skills and choices are superior.
I see what you are saying. I certainly wouldn't want my worst parenting moments seen or judged by the masses either.
I think my issue lies in the fact that people will judge an event, action, object by the absolute worst examples they can find and then extrapolate it to everyone.
And then others read waaaaaay more into a post than is actually there.
No one is questioning the goal....but one does not typically attain a goal overnight, with no bumps. It is a process. And, if during that process, one has to be someplace where it isn't worth the risk if that goal has not been 100% reached, then sometimes one has to put the safety of the child (and yes, occasionally the convenience of the adult also) ahead of the concern that some random person, who does not know your individual situation will look down their nose at you and tell everyone they know (as well as people they don't) about how awful this person was and how it's so nice to know that one's own parenting skills and choices are superior.
This is it exactly. Safety trumps all else in some situations. I'd rather be the "bad parent" who uses a leash than the "bad parent" who lost her kid at the airport.
I guess I just don't agree with this. That's ok - you don't have to. No one is telling you that you should use one if you don't care to. But I don't get the name calling and judgement for those who do choose to use one responsibly? Being somewhere or my convenience never trumps the child learning what they need to learn at a given age.
Well, maybe not, but many people do have to be somewhere before a child attains 100% mastery. I'm glad you seem to be able to plan your outings and your life around whether your child is able to handle where you are at any specific time. If that works for you then wonderful! It just isn't always the case for every family. Sometimes, some of us have to be somewhere (or yes, even choose to be somewhere) when a child is still learning. Notice I said "still learning" not "instead of learning"
Who cares what some stupid busy body thinks?
Well, that kind of is the point. I didn't care. I used the harness thingy when I had to. The safety of my child in a specific situation was more important. I just find it unfortunate that some parent might read how awful a parent they must be for chosing to use one of the tools available to them. Sometimes they are very appropriate to use. Sometimes not. Pretty much like anything else.
HINT: You also misread my bingo post. At least you are consistent.
... Maybe you are just VERY difficult to understand. Maybe you don't know how to word things in a way that gets your point across. That's really the only other explanation.
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And those lazy parents who use strollers to accomplish their errands when a child should be at home getting a good nap will have to go home and put the kids to bed where they should be....
