Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
You have to admire their unshakeable belief. Maybe she is helping others who have loss babies see it as an actual baby. Something that many forget.
She has alot of courage IMO.
This is purely my feeling on it, and I know others will feel differently, and I'm not trying to change anybody's mind on anything - but - uck, I get a really creepy vibe about the whole thing. I don't think some people who have lost babies via miscarriage really want to see the baby as an "actual baby". It's hard enough to go through already, without doing the full on mourning that you would do for a child you actually got to meet. Perhaps it's different for a later miscarriage, I don't know from experience.
Some people have several miscarriages, and I don't know how one could effectively function if we all thought about it in those terms, and had full on memorial services and stuff.
Not saying people can't, to each their own, but the spectacle of the whole thing kinda gives me the heebiejeebies. Hundreds of people there? I don't get it.
This is purely my feeling on it, and I know others will feel differently, and I'm not trying to change anybody's mind on anything - but - uck, I get a really creepy vibe about the whole thing. I don't think some people who have lost babies via miscarriage really want to see the baby as an "actual baby". It's hard enough to go through already, without doing the full on mourning that you would do for a child you actually got to meet. Perhaps it's different for a later miscarriage, I don't know from experience.
Some people have several miscarriages, and I don't know how one could effectively function if we all thought about it in those terms, and had full on memorial services and stuff.
Not saying people can't, to each their own, but the spectacle of the whole thing kinda gives me the heebiejeebies. Hundreds of people there? I don't get it.
I agree. It is hard to put into word, but no, I don't think I'd do all that in a case like this. Perhaps in the 3rd trimester. I've never had think about it, so I don't know though.
I thought what they did was tasteful, but it also wouldn't be something I would do. We had one miscarriage and it was very early, early enough that there wasn't even a confirmed pregnancy when it happened, miscarriage just ended up being the diagnosis. I remember the doctors in the ER being rather cold and matter of fact about it, it was something that could have been handled much more gently. They basically walked in and said; we think you had a miscarriage, but being this early on it wasn't really a baby at that point and most likely your body just rejected some bad material.
I approached it in a much more clinical manner than my wife did. I took it in stride, it was never really real to me and I was honestly over it very quickly. It affected my wife much more and she did mourn for a while. In fact, she was hurting for a much longer time than I realized and part of her still feels that loss today.
Being as far along as Michelle was with the pregnancy, I don't think it was inappropriate for them to consider the loss that of an actual child and not just something cold and clinical. I think a certain amount of mourning and rememberance is appropriate, especially in light of their personal beliefs. My in-laws lost a twin in utero and the baby was named and buried and while they talk about it nonchalantly today, it is still an obvious personal loss to them.
I had no idea she was that far along. I thought she was still in the first trimester. Yeah that is very hard. I gave birth to my first daughter at 27 weeks and she lived for 3 weeks 2 days. It was the hardest thing I have ever been through and to this day I cry. I was only 17 at the time so of course I wasnt ready but it was the hardest thing I ever went through. She's my angel in heaven.
I think Michelle really needs to stop. This is effecting more than just her. Her family will mourn the loss of this child and any future child she loses god forbid. SMH. Brought tears on thinking of the memory.
I had no idea she was that far along. I thought she was still in the first trimester. Yeah that is very hard. I gave birth to my first daughter at 27 weeks and she lived for 3 weeks 2 days. It was the hardest thing I have ever been through and to this day I cry. I was only 17 at the time so of course I wasnt ready but it was the hardest thing I ever went through. She's my angel in heaven.
I think Michelle really needs to stop. This is effecting more than just her. Her family will mourn the loss of this child and any future child she loses god forbid. SMH. Brought tears on thinking of the memory.
I think she was in her 4th month maybe. Difficult, yes. Sad, yes. As bad as what you probably went through, probably not. hugs to you.
This is purely my feeling on it, and I know others will feel differently, and I'm not trying to change anybody's mind on anything - but - uck, I get a really creepy vibe about the whole thing. I don't think some people who have lost babies via miscarriage really want to see the baby as an "actual baby". It's hard enough to go through already, without doing the full on mourning that you would do for a child you actually got to meet. Perhaps it's different for a later miscarriage, I don't know from experience.
Some people have several miscarriages, and I don't know how one could effectively function if we all thought about it in those terms, and had full on memorial services and stuff.
Not saying people can't, to each their own, but the spectacle of the whole thing kinda gives me the heebiejeebies. Hundreds of people there? I don't get it.
Wow. I think its irrelevant what you "want" to make yourself believe. It was an "actual baby", as the picture obviously shows, with 5 toes and 5 fingers, able to be comforted and held and loved. I'm glad they showed some respect by mourning, what would you have done, had it thrown out in the medical waste trash with the needles and gauze without ever having the dignity to "meet" its parents? That is why its often so hard for people to go through the loss of miscarriage, when people can be so cold as to say it wasn't an "actual baby" and "uck". Pictures like this put those ideas to rest.... it was their child, and it will be mourned and remembered, even if those feelings are hard.... at least they have feelings.
Wow. I think its irrelevant what you "want" to make yourself believe. It was an "actual baby", as the picture obviously shows, with 5 toes and 5 fingers, able to be comforted and held and loved. I'm glad they showed some respect by mourning, what would you have done, had it thrown out in the medical waste trash with the needles and gauze without ever having the dignity to "meet" its parents? That is why its often so hard for people to go through the loss of miscarriage, when people can be so cold as to say it wasn't an "actual baby" and "uck". Pictures like this put those ideas to rest.... it was their child, and it will be mourned and remembered, even if those feelings are hard.... at least they have feelings.
There is middle ground. Like having a cremation or a burial and a service for the family. Who said it has to be either a funeral for hundreds with photos or the medical waste bin?
There is middle ground. Like having a cremation or a burial and a service for the family. Who said it has to be either a funeral for hundreds with photos or the medical waste bin?
Yes, granted, I could do without the media attention and hundreds of people, but why people choose to display their private lives on national television is not something I even try to understand.
Wow. I think its irrelevant what you "want" to make yourself believe. It was an "actual baby", as the picture obviously shows, with 5 toes and 5 fingers, able to be comforted and held and loved. I'm glad they showed some respect by mourning, what would you have done, had it thrown out in the medical waste trash with the needles and gauze without ever having the dignity to "meet" its parents? That is why its often so hard for people to go through the loss of miscarriage, when people can be so cold as to say it wasn't an "actual baby" and "uck". Pictures like this put those ideas to rest.... it was their child, and it will be mourned and remembered, even if those feelings are hard.... at least they have feelings.
No, what I want to believe is just as valid as what they want to believe.
I did make a point, very clearly, of saying my post was MY PERSONAL FEELING. I have been through a miscarriage, at 12 weeks, and yes, the baby did - to be very blunt - end up in the medical waste trash. Because that's how it ended. So if it's alright by you, I don't like to think of it as an "actual baby" like the one I have now, because the comparison is enough to drive one nuts.
And I don't think I'm alone in that. For people that go through it multiple times, it would be too much to bear. I also clarified that a miscarriage further along could be a different matter, but I don't personally know.
I think there's a reason we don't, as a rule, mourn the loss of a pregnancy the way we do a child.
This is purely my feeling on it, and I know others will feel differently, and I'm not trying to change anybody's mind on anything - but - uck, I get a really creepy vibe about the whole thing. I don't think some people who have lost babies via miscarriage really want to see the baby as an "actual baby". It's hard enough to go through already, without doing the full on mourning that you would do for a child you actually got to meet. Perhaps it's different for a later miscarriage, I don't know from experience.
Some people have several miscarriages, and I don't know how one could effectively function if we all thought about it in those terms, and had full on memorial services and stuff.
Not saying people can't, to each their own, but the spectacle of the whole thing kinda gives me the heebiejeebies. Hundreds of people there? I don't get it.
I get it and I'm one who doesn't feel like my babies are "real" babies until very late into my pregnancy. Some people simply feel that babies like Jubilee are as real and as much a part of the family as any other member. I may not agree, emotionally speaking, but I get it.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
