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Old 06-13-2012, 02:26 PM
 
32,516 posts, read 37,183,567 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Neniathe View Post
I intend to cave into the pressure to give birth to a baby
What the heck does that mean?
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Old 06-13-2012, 02:27 PM
 
19 posts, read 18,897 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rezfreak View Post
The fact of the matter is that the OP never replied to - why not compromise and let your husband name the boy and you name if its a girl? IMO, that's a far more "fair" way to settle it if you're unwilling to budge on the boy name and you said you're not finding out the sex of the baby til birth. *Side note* I applaud you for waiting, my son was a surprise as well til birth and it was VERY amazing to just have such a surprise like that. Few things in life are surprises and this is one that you can completely control that it stays a surprise
I actually noted this earlier. We plan only to have the one child, and I want us both to be involved in the process of selecting names with meaning to us both. I don't wish to shut him out of picking a feminine name any more than I am comfortable being shut out from a masculine name choice. He's found some very appealing choices for girls up to this point, and I like having his input and ideas.

Thank you for the comment about the waiting. I've sorely considered finding out the gender just to try and settle my concerns, or address the matter with a counselor if we are having a boy. But one of the greatest delights to me would be the surprise of who this lovely little person is, and I can't bring myself to spoil that. I only get to surprise myself the once. My DH is happy however we choose to go (surprise or not), for as far as he's concerned, a healthy baby with ten fingers and ten toes is a blessing no matter the gender.
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Old 06-13-2012, 02:28 PM
 
19 posts, read 18,897 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DewDropInn View Post
What the heck does that mean?
The poster who replied said "you intend to cave into the pressure to have the baby and name him Henry Lewis VI." I was trying to make a pun out of it -- yes, I'm going to give in to the contractions and labor pains and have a child. Can't stay pregnant forever.

Sorry for lack of clarity!
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Old 06-13-2012, 02:37 PM
 
19 posts, read 18,897 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucidkitty View Post
It could be a lot of things. Perhaps his father/grandfather died and now with the baby here it's a bigger deal than before. Maybe he is feeling nostalgic because it's his first child now.
His grandfather and father are both alive, and in very good health. I haven't been able to find out exactly what his change of heart was based off of. When I asked about the change of his position last time, he told me as quoted in the first post, that he's wanted that name for a firstborn boy since childhood, that's what it's always been. This is inconsistent with the last seven years of discussion, though.

I understand that opinions may change. He may have an underlying reason that arose now rather than the possibility before. Understanding might help my decision-making process. He's usually very communicative. But being told 'it has to be this choice, and only this choice' puts me off. It's a big change from where we were a few weeks ago. If the situation were reversed and I insisted the baby be named after my dad (also alive and kicking) and no other option would do it would be just as troubling for him, right?
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Old 06-13-2012, 02:48 PM
 
32,516 posts, read 37,183,567 times
Reputation: 32581
Quote:
Originally Posted by Neniathe View Post
The poster who replied said "you intend to cave into the pressure to have the baby and name him Henry Lewis VI." I was trying to make a pun out of it -- yes, I'm going to give in to the contractions and labor pains and have a child. Can't stay pregnant forever.

Sorry for lack of clarity!
Thanks for the explanation.

My mind was starting to go to, "So she's caving into familial pressure to have a baby and THAT's why she doesn't like the name." Good thing I asked.
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Old 06-13-2012, 02:48 PM
 
13,423 posts, read 9,955,563 times
Reputation: 14357
Quote:
Originally Posted by Neniathe View Post
His grandfather and father are both alive, and in very good health. I haven't been able to find out exactly what his change of heart was based off of. When I asked about the change of his position last time, he told me as quoted in the first post, that he's wanted that name for a firstborn boy since childhood, that's what it's always been. This is inconsistent with the last seven years of discussion, though.

I understand that opinions may change. He may have an underlying reason that arose now rather than the possibility before. Understanding might help my decision-making process. He's usually very communicative. But being told 'it has to be this choice, and only this choice' puts me off. It's a big change from where we were a few weeks ago. If the situation were reversed and I insisted the baby be named after my dad (also alive and kicking) and no other option would do it would be just as troubling for him, right?
Yes, yes it would. The fact that it hasn't really come up in the past 7 years of discussion makes him now unreasonable.

You were more than willing to name the baby Henry Louis Something Last Name IV and he didn't want any part of that correct?

I think he should get over himself as far as that goes, you guys can pick out a second middle name and use that. That's more than reasonable.

Not agreeing to that on his part is being obnoxious about it. IMHO, of course.
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Old 06-13-2012, 02:56 PM
 
19 posts, read 18,897 times
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That's right. I asked for something like:
- Name Henry Louis
- Name Louis
- Louis Name
- Henry Louis Name
- Name (My Dad's Name) (Henry or Lewis)

None flew.
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Old 06-13-2012, 03:04 PM
 
13,423 posts, read 9,955,563 times
Reputation: 14357
Quote:
Originally Posted by Neniathe View Post
That's right. I asked for something like:
- Name Henry Louis
- Name Louis
- Louis Name
- Henry Louis Name
- Name (My Dad's Name) (Henry or Lewis)

None flew.
Then I think one of them's going to have to sprout a pair of wings. Henry Louis Name is perfectly acceptable.

For you to hate it and still go with that shows a great deal of respect and consideration on your behalf.

Perhaps this is some indication that he's having first baby daddy jitters, and it's just manifesting itself as name idiocy?
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Old 06-13-2012, 03:08 PM
 
Location: Australia
4,001 posts, read 6,273,680 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper12 View Post
This is really a relationship issue. In any relationship, there is usually one who "gives" in to the other. This goes beyond naming a child. And, sometimes the person who usually "gives" in, may absolutely take a stand on an issue, for whatever reason. When I was married, I pretty much let my spouse make the decisions...whatever he wanted was fine.

I once saw a show, about a couple looking for a house, the wife came across as so spoiled, and entitled. She wanted a large, new, expensive house. The husband wanted a smaller, older home, less expensive. She "won", they got the big, fancy house. Every month, that family is going to be paying this big mortgage. It goes beyond, what she wanted...and she just never could get "it".

I don't know anything about your relationship with your spouse...but review the last few things you decided as a couple...who "won"? Really examine your reasons you don't want to use the names that are important to your spouse, is this an issue really worth digging your heels in on? This is not a small issue...

My husband wanted to name our sons after famous baseball stars...really...Mickey, Hank, and Joe. He just likes baseball...no compelling family legacy...we compromised...he named all the pets. We choose our kids names based on family names.

ROFL. That's my sort of compromise
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Old 06-13-2012, 03:19 PM
 
Location: Australia
4,001 posts, read 6,273,680 times
Reputation: 6856
Quote:
Originally Posted by Neniathe View Post
I haven't mentioned it -- I have a prospective list I've been moving around, and my husband mentioned a few names before we got pregnant that he found to be appealing. We had a few mutuals on that list, and I presented them but it was a no go.

I'll reiterate a point, in case people are new to the thread, he never pressed on there being a VI as an absolute family name. In the past it was a possibility and we went so far as to consider other alternatives too.
That, plus the fact that you are only planning one baby, cements it for me.

He can't move the goalposts at this late stage and suddenly become adamant about something he never gave a toss about before. That's just not right. He's being a jerk and so are his family. In my case, I think someone asked when I was still engaged if I would be having William IV and I told them in no uncertain terms that wouldn't be happening, and that was the end of the issue...but that's me I am incredibly glad now I listened to my instincts.

As it turned out, my ex inlaws ended up with all sorts of crazy named grandkids, so what we chose soon became preferred, in comparison to the rest.

What will change if you don't name your baby what they want? A few bruised feelings initially, but will it seriously mean they love the baby any less? I seriously doubt it. They will worship that baby no matter what he's called, and if they don't, you don't need that sort of people around your baby.

My earlier advice about it being the birth mother's decision still stands. You have precedence in the eyes of the law.

Good luck. If I were you, I'd stand my ground. But then I've got the benefit of hindsight.
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